Impulses
by Green-doves
Summary: When Clary is hurt at Pandemonium, Jace makes her a promise. But she doesn't hear it. Will she ever find out? Will Jace go through with it? Or will he chicken out and give up the most important thing in his life? Please give it a go :
1. Promises

**Hey readers,**

**I had this idea floating around in my head and wasn't sure how I felt about it. So I decided to write it up and see what some of the reviews say! I promise I'm not abandoning I am, Clarissa Fairchild (if you haven't read it I'd love it if you checked it out), but I'm having a small writers block with it right now so I thought I'd try something new :) **

**Tell me what you think.**

_**Impulses, Chapter 1: Anniversary**_

Clary was rushing around her room like a crazy cat lady searching for her gold hoop earrings. They gang were heading out to Pandemonium to celebrate Magnus and Alec's first anniversary of 'going out', of course Alec thought it was unnecessary but Magnus would not back down. Isabelle had taken Clary out shopping only a couple of hours ago where she had tried on almost every dress all the stores had to offer, it was insanity. Well, not to Isabelle.

In the end, Clary had decided on a deep purple strapless dress that reached her mid thigh with thin lace criss-crossing over the fabric. It was the only dress that Clary really liked as it clung to her figure and made her look "drop dead gorgeous' as Iz had said. So all she had to do now was put on her six inch purple and blue platform heels (yes, she had given in to her maniac best friend/sisterly figure) and find those damned hoops!

All Clary could think about was if Jace was like it or hate it or not have an opinion or- Her mind was running overtime. Somehow she managed to get the earrings in, shoes on and pack her small black shoulder bag Iz had given her for her last birthday. She loaded her thigh sheath up with a small seraph blade and drew a couple of runes on her skin. It was going to be a good night, she knew it.

**-Impulses-**

Jace was leaning against one of the walls in the Institute's foyer waiting for Isabelle and Clary to come down so they could go. It was ten o'clock and he couldn't figure out why it took so long to get ready? Through a dress on, grab some heels, ponytail and bad… done. But evidently there just had to be more to it, otherwise they would have been finished an hour agao- like they promised. It's not like he minded waiting for his girl to pretty up, she was gorgeous in sweatpants and a Lorna Jane Tee, but when she dressed up- well Jace had to make sure his mouth was hanging open for the world to see. The only reason why tonight he really just wanted to get moving was because Magnus and Alec were "smooching" on one of the seats near the large oak doors. Bloody anniversaries. Dare he say it, if only Simon was here, then they'd be able to at least argue and pay each other out, but he was meeting them there. A loud bang broke Jace out of his thoughts as he saw Isabelle running towards them, her long black hair all tied up on top of her head in plaits and bobby pins, a beautiful bright pink dress that reached her thigh with thin straps made her look great. Jace didn't even bother looking at her shoes, god knows how high they were.

"Clary's coming soon I think" Isabelle said as she picked out her new Iphone 4s and called Simon to see where he was. He gave a silent prayer when he saw small red head walking towards them. 'Don't drop the jaw, don't drop the jaw, don't drop the jaw' Jace chanted to himself in his head as his girlfriend came into view. She looked stunning, bright red lipstick coating her soft lips, smoky eye shadow trailing her eyelids and a light blush on her cheeks sending Jace crazy. 'Damn it' he thought to himself, 'let the damn jaw drop'. He quickly regained composure as Clary beamed at him. God he loved her. Pulling her into a tight hug he kissed her hair and whispered to her, "You look absolutely gorgeous".

**-Impulses-**

Clary was sitting on Jace's lap in the Taxi. They decided to save the little money and all get one cab, there was only enough room if someone sat on somebody's lap, obviously going to be Clary. Not that she was complaining. Her muscular boyfriend had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she leant against him whilst the taxi lurched backwards and forwards. Magnus and Alec were in the back to murmuring to each other about Angel knows what had Izzy was busy texting her vampire boyfriend who also happened to be Clary's best friend from the front seat. It wasn't a long ride to the club but due to heavy traffic for whatever reason it was about 10:45 by the time they got there. The line was huge; well it was a Saturday night, but still. There were all kinds of crazies, but no sight of any demons which was slightly disappointing. Clary spotted a couple of lesbian werewolves, a trio of fairies and some other odd creatures. They walked straight passed the queue receiving boo's and 'what makes you so special?' from the numerous waiting teenagers. Isabelle gave the bouncer a quick smile and whispered something in his ear before walking through the door with the others trailing behind. As they walked into the club, there was glitter scattering the floor, lights flashing onto the dancers, colouring their skin obscure colours that messed with Clary's vision.

Masses of teenagers and young adults crowded the club, the smell of sweat and bodies filled the air as more smoke was pumped into the room creating a misty atmosphere as the lights dazed through the clouds. The DJ was banging his head to the loud bass vibrating through the room, fizzing along the walls and floors like static electricity. The group walked in quickly before anybody else saw their queue jump. It was extremely humid in the club, like rain had fallen on a hot day then evaporated leaving a sticky, humid atmosphere. Isabelle quickly found Simon and walked over to him before the both entered the crowd of dancers whilst Magnus and Alec sat down in one of the closest booths in the dark. That just left Jace and Clary together.

"Want to dance gorgeous?" Jace whispered seductively into his Clary's ear making her shiver into his warm chest as he drew her into a tight embrace, slowly kissing her neck. Jace pulled away which received a small whine of protest from Clary as he pulled her into the mass of teenagers by her soft hand.

They were soon swarmed from every surrounding by other dancers as Clary and Jace swayed against each other, Jace kissing Clary's neck which caused her eyed to flutter closed in pleasure, Jace's strong hands gripping her waist hard. She was enjoying the night so much, having Jace with her… doing this to her…

Jace was moving his hands up and down Clary's back as the danced, he moved his lips slowly from Clary's neck up to her jaw line and continuing to kiss her until he reached her soft, beautiful lips before crashing down on them. Clary gasped in surprise but didn't pull away, she was kissing him back, moulding her lips to his, their tongues fighting for dominance in an all to familiar fashion. She loved him, and she knew he loved her just as much.

**-Impulses-**

"Clary looks like she's having fun" Alec shouted to his adoptive brother above the thumping music that was blasting into their ears. They were both leaning near the bar watching Isabelle and Clary dance together, laughing and smiling as the bobbed together. The only thing that irritated Jace about the scene was the group of guys hanging behind the girls checking them out, it took all of his control not to waltz over and introduce his fist to their faces. Alec was downing a beer but Jace surprising didn't want to drink tonight, he wanted to see Clary clearly, the _whole _night. Alcohol wasn't going to help him achieve that. He turned suddenly to Alec and said, "I'm gong to marry that girl".

His attention was drawn to a guy, only a couple of centimetres shorter than himself in baggy jeans showing his Calvin Kleins and a basketball shirt over a singlet. He had a gold chain hanging around his neck, Jace presumed 'ghetto style'. He was walking towards his girl, Clary with a smile on his face. When he reached her he pulled her into him, Clary yelped in surprise and the guy pulled her hair behind her ear before whispering something. Clary tried to get out of his grip but he was too strong, but not for Isabelle, she kicked him behind the knees causing him to double over, bringing Clary down with him. The guy's friend rushed over and grabbed at Iz, she was stronger than the average guy, but she couldn't stand a chance against five of them holding her back. Clary had thumped her head on the floor and wasn't moving whilst the Calvin Kleins guy picked her up and pulled her limply into his lap before kissing her on the lips, his hand snaking towards her chest, his other hand pulling at her hair. Jace was over there before he knew it punching the living daylights out of the guy. Two of his friends had come over to hold him back but he was just to strong. The guy who kissed Clary was now bloody with a broken nose and a black eye surely to form the next morning. Simon and Alec ran over and pulled Jace back. "Touch her again and I swear to Angel, I'll _KILL _you" Jace spat angrily.

**-Impulses-**

The guys had left and Jace and Clary in his arms, bruises on her face, arms and head. They were in the cab on the way back to the Institute; he couldn't believe this had happened. She was his Clary, his… and look what he'd let happen. Not again. Never again. He couldn't bear to look at her bruised face bust she was still beautiful to him. He pulled her up to him gently and whispered to her, "Ill marry you Clary. Just wait"

**Ok,**

**Tell me what you think, if you want a next chapter or if you want this to stay as a one-shot. Please Review! That's the only thing that keeps me writing… reviews, reviews, reviews :D**

**Have a Splendiferous day!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	2. I'm ready, I'm not ready…

**Hey!**

**I would love to say thankyou to everybody who reviewed! 6 reviews on the one chapter! This is very very good Thankyou to ShadowHunter KaliGurl who was reviewer number 1 and of course to everybody else.**

**It means a lot to me so thankyou thankyou thankyou!**

**Enough rambling on, here is your chapter:**

_**Impulses, Chapter 2: I'm ready, I'm not ready…**_

Clary's eyes fluttered open but she instantly regretted it. Her eyes burned as the sharp and sterile lights shone down on her as she rested on the most uncomfortable bed imaginable. She tried to pull her self up into a seated position but all her muscles ached and protested. She sighed with discomfort giving up on herself. Realisation washed over her as she realised that she was lying battered and bruised in the infirmary. Well that explains the bed.

She didn't remember much of last night except for some guy grabbing at her, and then she fell and that was it. Nothing. She guessed Jace beat the crap out of whomever the guy was which made her smile to herself slightly. Her head was throbbing, like a tight band of pain was constricting around her forehead.

"Ugh" She grunted quietly as she rolled on her side. Her vision was slightly blurry, fuzzy around the edges but she could see clearly enough to notice a slumped figure in what looked like the most uncomfortable chair sleeping softly. His golden hair was ruffled all over his head and he looked tired… with black shaded skin under his eye lids. Jace was almost beautiful to her, perfect and whenever she saw him like this, she felt like she had seen a piece of priceless art that the artist had never intended anyone to see. That had been hidden away in a dark attic collecting dust. But here he was, exposing that side of him to her without even knowing it and she sat in awe, staring at him knowing she was the only one who saw this part of him.

Knowing she shouldn't stare even if Jace _was _asleep she turned to face the wall determined to reach a seated position on the side of the bed. She heaved herself up whimpering slightly as pain struck through her, gripping her muscles screaming at her to stop. But Clary was Clary, and she wasn't going to stop. She tried to ignore the pain as she swivelled on her bum so her legs were dangling off the she sat up straight she let out a gasp as pain shot up her back.

'What had that moron done to me?' she thought to herself. Jace's eyes flickered open and quickly he was up out of the chair and pulling her softly into him.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?" He whispered softly in her ear pulling back to look at her face. Clary knew he was overprotective so smiled slightly to herself.

"I'm fine Jace. Promise. Have you been sleeping?" She asked he delicate hand tracing the dark shadows under his eyes but he pulled back, her fingers dropping back to her side.

"It's no big deal Clary. All that matters is that you're okay" He hugged her again kissing her hair. Whatever had happened after she fell that night must have gotten Jace worried. But then again, when a pigeon swooped at her head in Central Park he was fussing over her.

Nothing New.

**-Impulses-**

"What happened Jace?" Clary looked up to him staring into his golden eyes. All he could see was the confusion on her face. He loved her, god he loved her! It was so stupid to think Jace had actually fallen for a girl. Not just wanted her, took her home one night then snuck out in the morning never to return again, he actually loved her.

"You just fell unconscious that's all" he whispered tracing patterns lightly on her wrist, "Do you remember anything?" He asked as a thought stuck him. What I she had heard-

"No, not really, I have a fuzzy memory of Alec calling mum but that's it" she replied softly wondering what she had missed, "did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened Clary" he murmured to her hugging her tightly, relishing in the feeling of her in his arms again. 'Not yet' he thought to himself.

'Not yet'

**-Impulses-**

_Just a few bruises Clarissa and a twisted ankle. That is all. You should be fine. If there is any other issues please do not hestitate to call on the Silent Brothers._

One of the brothers who had inspected Clary walked out the door followed by Maryse who was asking him questions about how many brothers there now were. Valentine had slain a large portion of the New York Silent Brothers and there wasn't many left which was worrying.

"Who was that?" Isabelle asked whilst filling her nails. Her enthusiasm shaking the Institute.

"Brother Kalbi, he's new that's why he looks the most human. But he still doesn't talk" Jace replied.

"Uh-huh" Isabelle replied before giving Clary a sisterly kiss on the forehead and walking out of the room. Jace was praying Clary didn't remember what he'd said. He meant it of course but he wasn't sure to what extent. Would he marry her tomorrow? Next month? A year? He wasn't sure. It was a massive issue for him, he wasn't just going to get down on one knee and then be made a fool because Clary wasn't even ready. Was he ready? They hadn't even spoken about it or discussed the topic of marriage. He knew it was something Clary wanted but when he didn't know.

Clary was something special, no way was he going to let her go and maybe putting a ring on her finger would prevent him losing her.

'Wait' he thought to himself, 'I'd have to actually put a ring on her, at least for the engagemt!'. Obviously Shadowhunters don't use rings but Clary was a full Shadowhunter yet, she was almst there but it wasn't legal for him to put the runes on her. He'd have to give her an engagement ring. Great more options.

Does she like diamonds? Does she hate them? Gold, Silver, Rose gold, white gold? To many options. How many diamonds? The design! Would she want modern or classical. Jace didn't even hear Clary repeating his name until he snapped out of his higheway of thoughts and stared down at the girl he was so stressed about.

"Jace! What's going on? It looks like you've been turned to stone. Are you okay?" Clary asked staring at him.

"Y-yea it is" Jace stuttered slightly.

Oh god, this was going to be one hell of a roller coaster.

**-Impulses-**

"So do you know the kind of style she would like?" The young brunette at the jewelry shop asked sweetly smiling at his nervousness.

"Uh… n-no I don't. We haven't really um, spoken about it yet. It's k-kind of a er… surprise. Yea" he stuttered to the woman. She just kept on smiling which gave him a bit of confidence. Knowing she'd probably seen this all before.

"That's okay. So how old is she might I ask?" Jace looked down at the woman's tag.

"Um… she's 18" Jace replied nervously staring at the woman named Linda.

"well then perhaps we should look at a more modern ring, with silver and gold lace? Many of the younger girls seem to love it. Might I ask your price range so we know where to start?" Jace knew money wasn't an issue. He had loads of it. Bill Gates loads. The Clave just keep pumping it into the Institute and then on to Maryse. But it was more of a secret. Not many people knew of the Lightwood's financial status, they liked to keep it that way.

"I um… don't have a price range. If you know w-what I'm get-t-ting at?" He stared at Linda who just smiled.

"Ah. Yes that's fine. Follow me then" She walked along the red carpet behind the class cabinets filled with rings, necklaces, bracelets, pendants. The lot! Linda was quite tall and slim, very pretty and had a wonderful smiled which was the only thing stopping Jace from fainting right now. He felt like everyone was looking at him. This never happened, he was never so nervous, so sick in the stomach, so _scared_.

"Okay so here we have the modern selection of Silver and Gold lace rings. Are there any you like?" He peered into the glass bos in front of him were numerous rings sat, it was unbelievably overwhelming.

"I know, there are a lot. Maybe we can fine tune it. What eyes and hair colour does she have?"

"Um… red hair, green eyes. Like super red and super green"

"Righteo then, well then we should stick with a silver base rather than a gold base. And perhaps 2-3 diamonds? Unless you want the diamonds to go all the way around?"

As the woman was speaking Jace suddenly saw it. The ring, the one for Clary.

"Can I see that one?" Jace asked pointing to it. The woman nodded sweetly and pulled it from the glass box. As the woman rambled on about the history and maker of the ring Jace stared at it.

It had three strips of gold that created the ring, twining around each other, small diamonds trail the middle strip the whole way around. The middle strip was silver, as were the two others and just as the Linda had suggested, it had gold lace wrapped delicately around the two other layers so you could still see the silver underneath. It was simple but intricate and he knew Clary would love it.

"It's one of a kind so that does bump the price up a bit. The diamonds are the best clear diamonds you can get and the lace is real gold so it racks up to quite a figure. Are you interested?" Linda asked.

"Yes, very much. It's perefect" Jace's nerves had flown out the window. He had only come here to get an idea, not to actually buy one. He still had said anything to Clary, he wasn't even sure if she would say yes. But he knew he was as ready as he would ever be as he stared at the ring. He knew this was it, this was the one.

"How much?" He asked. Linda got out a small calculator and seemed a bit apprehensive to tell him the price. Obviously it wasn't the cheapest of the rings. Probably the most expensive.

"$250,000." She replied with a nervous look in her eyes.

"Can you do any better Linda?" Jace aksed. He could afford it for sure but he wasn't going to pay that if he could get less off it.

"Well… it would be difficult but I can probably make it about… $249,500?"

"What about $249,000?" Jace asked staring at the ring, if she said no he would buy it for the price of $249,500, if she said yes well super for him.

"I'll go to $249,250. That's all I can do I'm afraid" Linda looked at Jace praying he would buy it. It must have been her lucky day.

"Done" Jace said handing her the ring and watched them clean and polish it and find the best looking box for it.

"I just bought an engagement ring for Clary" Jace thought to himself, "Angel watch over me"

**Hey!  
>So I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry for the late update. School calls :) <strong>

**It's not easy putting this up and another story whilst doing well at school!  
>Please review let me know what you thinkfavourite parts! I'm s happy with the amount of reviews I got on the last chapter so hopefully we can get some more on this one! It's not Beta'd so sorry about any spelling/grammer/overall mistakes :)**

**Tell me what you think of the ring as well. I don'y have a picture I'm sorry! **

**Love it? Hate it? Want to burn it?**

**Let me know 3 3**

**Love you guys**


	3. Nervous

**Hey**

**Well Lucky YOU! Two chapters in one week! This deserves a few more reviews…**

**Here you lovelies:**

_**Impulses, Chapter 3: Nerves**_

The box was weighing a tonne in Jace's pocket, he couldn't stop thinking if sometime could tell he was hiding something or that they noticed something in the pocket of his hoodie. There was no way he was leaving the ring around for Isabelle, Maryse or Angel forbid Clary, to risky. So it lived in one of Jace's pockets all day every day. Then at night it was locked safely under his loose floorboards. Genius.

So as he sat on the kitchen bar stool watching Isabelle cook he was nervously awaiting his meal so he could quickly finish it and be out of sight. He'd never wished for one of Isabelle's meals so much before, considering her track record with putting things in things she shouldn't. Oh the concoctions she came up with. She swivelled away from the stove, a plate of bacon, eggs, grilled tomatoes, small sausages, a hash brown and a small bun and placed it in front of Jace. It actually didn't look to bad.

"What have you done with it?" Jace asked knowing it looked to good to be true.

"Nothing. Not everything I make has something wrong with it" Isabelle looked at him with a stare as cold as ice, "You all ought to learn that" Jace just nodded and spooned some eggs into his mouth cautiously but they were delicious, melting in his mouth. So soft and fluffy.

"How the hell did you produce something like this?" he asked pointing at the meal, speaking with his mouth open.

"I'm glad you like it but I don't need to see the finished product inside your mouth. Clary's been helping me by giving me cooking lessons" Isabelle turned away from him and walked towards the pantry, opening it so reveal its contents.

"I'm going to make pancakes" she announced proudly. Jace was spooning food in his mouth but fidgeting as well, looking all around the room trying to take his mind of the object in his pocket.

"What is wrong with you? Seriously ever since yesterday when you got back from training in the park you've been acting all nervous and not yourself. What's going on?" Obviously Jace's fidgeting hadn't gotten past his adoptive sister.

"I'm fine, seriously I just um…"

"um? Really Jace? Um? What is wrong? You never say um!" Isabelle had caught him out, saying um was a rarity for him reserved for when he was scared of nervous. Which both very rarely occurred.

"Isabelle I'm fi-" he tried to reply but was cut off.

"Don't lie to me Jace Lightwood! What the hell are you up to?" Isabelle was leaning over the bench to stare at him with a glare that could freeze hell over.

'I have to tell her or she won't let this go, then she'll ask Clary and then Clary will know something's up. What is it with these girls?' Jace thought to himself. He had no choice, Isabelle would have to be told. He had no other options. Though he hated what he was about to do he whispered,

"I bought Clary a… um… you know… a-" he stammered trying to get the words out staring down at his plate.

"What Jace? A necklace? A car? A freaking ferret? What?" Isabelle was looking at him with an incredulous look obviously not impressed by his lack of confidence.

"I bought her a ah… a ring" Jace looked up to meet Isabelle's wide eyes.

"A what? Like a promise ring, a 'here is a random ring I bought you, a-"

"I bought her an engagement ring Iz. I want her to marry me" Isabelle's eyes were wider than the moon with surprise and shock as if he was proposing to her. She was frozen until a small smile crept along her face and she beamed brightly.

"You know I'm not proposing to you right?" Jace murmured slightly but it seemed Izzy hadn't heard him.

"Oh my Angel! This is so cool! I'm planning everything understand? No way are you getting around this one. Flowers, Flowers, Flowers what kind of flowers does she like? Oh and colours, this is difficiult, white is a Mundie weeding colour but a shadowhunter funeral colour hmmm-"

"Izzy you can't go parading it around so loud" Jace hissed at her, "It's a surprise! Shut it!"

"Isabelle just nodded slightly the excitement bubbling up inside her. Jace knew what she was going to ask but she wasn't opening her lips. After about five minutes of staring at each other she opened her lips slightly.

"Can I-"

"Sure" Jace replied looking around for any sign of Clary. But luckily she wasn't anywhere to be seen. He reached into his hoodie and pulled out the green velvet box that contain the ring that might change his life. If he got the guts to ask her.

**-Impulses-**

So Isabelle knew and whenever she got the chance to talk to Jace alone which funnily enough was quite often she would bombard him with questions.

'Does Clary want a big dress? Of simpler?'

'What's her favourite flower?'

'big wedding or small wedding?'

'Just wondering about where you want it. I thought a beach scene would be nice'

Blah blah blah. Jace was nervous enough about just asking the question but he'd never thought about all of these details. Maybe this was a complete mistake and he just shouldn't do it.

'But you bought the ring dumbass' a voiced whispered inside his head. Great now he's hearing voices. Why was this so scary? It shouldn't be such a big deal but for some reason it was. It was a massive deal. All he had to do was say, 'Clary, will you marry me?' or 'Clary, would you do me the extraordinary honour of becoming my wife'

'Shit' he thought, 'that's from twilight! Rule that one out!'

There was just so much to think about. "He Iz" Jace asked as they both sat on the lounge room sofa. No one else was in the house so it was safe.

"When do you think I should ask?"

"That's a good question. Lucky for you I already had thought about it and devised a plan. We should throw a party. Your engagement party!" Isabelle clapped her hands together in delight.

"Iz, that ruins the surprise. 'Hey Clary? Want to come with me to our engagement party where I'm going to propose to you?' Yea Izzy, great idea" Jace rolled his eyes slightly but stopped as soon as he saw Izzy's ice cold glare.

"No. We don't tell her it's an engagement party for you two. Everybody else knows that's why they come and then she just thinks it's a party. Then bam you propose she says yes and everyone is clapping. And you say 'I hope you like the engagement party' bam. Done. Sorted" Izzy looked back at the TV.

"So when should we organise it?"

"Oh it's already organised. I knew you'd like my idea and so I've already sent out the invitations for Thursday night. You'd better have a nice Tuxedo"

"Izz" Jace complained, "Thursday is tomorrow!"

"Oh you're right. It's to soon! We'll just have to go shopping now! Get up and grab your wallet. We're going to find you a suit, me a dress and I'll find something for Clary!"

Jace reluctantly got up and followed his sister out the door. Why had he let her do this to him? And worst of all, she had basically cemented the fact that he was ready to propose… tomorrow. Wow, thanks a bunch Iz. He just prayed it all went according to plan. Because if it didn't he'd look like a right fool.

**-Impulses-**

Jace was staring at the black and slightly grey tux that lay on his bed next to the green box. This was it, Thursday night. He was about to ask Clary to marry him. Shit, Shit, Shit.

He knew Clary would look stunning and he just prayed that he got some burst of energy or adrenaline that pumped the words out of his mouth. He quickly put the suit on and popped the box in his pocket before walking out the door to meet the rest of the group. Seemed he'd been standing there for longer than he'd thought because he was the last one to get to the front door of the Institute. Clary looked stunning, just perfect. He beautiful curvy body was accented by a gold dress that loosely hung around her neck and when she turned he saw the dress was backless showing the pale skin of her back. It swished around at her mid-thigh which was destined to have a sheath hidden with a dagger. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun on the top of her hair and black streams of metal hung from her ears like waterfalls cascading down her face. She was stunning, perfect. She walked over to him and hugged his chest, his arms found their natural place around her waist and he kissed her head. He tried to keep his cool but inside he had butterflies fluttering around his insides. This was going to be one hell of a night.

**-Impulses-**

**Hey guys,**

**Well I do hope you enjoyed this chapter ;)**

**How about a proposal next chapter if I get 5 reviews? Sound good? Well it's all up to you guys!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	4. Proposals

**Hello!**

**First of all I wanted to stay the biggest thankyou to ALL those who alerted/favourite/reviewed this story! You have no idea how much this means to me, to have so many reviews on my story, to know you like it.**

**Enough blabbing about that though, I know you're all dying to read the erm… proposal? Of course I'm going to give it to you! I got over double 5 reviews! I got 12 (I think XD)! There I go again… blabbing.**

**Ok here it is:**

**P.S I want to thank vampchick09 for giving me a real good idea to create this proposal :)**

_**Impulses, Chapter 4: Proposals**_

It was a freezing cold night, so Jace was glad Isabelle had rented out this beautiful hall in the middle of New York for the party, it was perfect. Iz had out done herself, fairy lights streamed down from the roof just above everybody's heads, lanterns hanging from the walls in gold and white. It seemed that was the theme, no wonder Isabelle had bought Clary the golden dress. There were tables of delicious food and florescent drinks but all Jace could see was the beaming smile on Clary's face. She was just perfect, she looked beautiful and luckily she had no idea why everyone was here. Jace's hands were getting sweaty as he wrapped his hands around his girlfriend's waist and his mind was like a highway of thoughts, doubts and everything else imaginable. He spotted Alec standing over in what must have been the only colourful thing he'd ever seen his adoptive brother wear. A black tux fit him well with a white tie and gold handkerchief in his pocket. Magnus however were dressed in a sparkly golden suit that complemented his white and silver hair. They were such an odd pair.

Isabelle was nowhere to be seen, most likely with Simon, Maryse and Robert were coming later on, "Clave business" and Mia and Jordan were over near the food table. They'd gotten back together a couple of weeks ago which was good, two lost souls finding each other. Sounded familiar to Jace…

Jace's head was spinning, there were so many people here at least one hundred and they were all here to see him propose, but it just didn't seem right. He didn't want this to become a show for everyone, that wasn't the way Clary would want it. He had to do this when they were alone with no one looking, then he could go back inside with his hopefully new fiancé and announce the news. It seemed odd to him to be planning something like this, he'd always imagined it would always just happen, but this seem so ordered. Something he felt uneasy about.

"Are you okay?" He heard a soft voice filled with concern say.

"Yea I'm fine, just a bit tired. Training and all" Jace replied quietly squeezing tightly on her waist.

"If you're sure" she whispered.

"Do you want to dance or…"

"I'd love to" the fiery girl answered before Jace could finish his question. He led her to the dance floor, which was more formal than what they were used to at Pandemonium. He remembered as he walked with Clary amongst the beautiful women and handsome men that their last visit to Pandemonium was when he'd first realised that he'd wanted to marry Clary. They assumed their positions, Jace's arms around her waist and one linking with her hand which was held up just above shoulder height in old English tradition. She smiled up at him as he moved his feet; Clary just stumbled with him but somehow pulled it off flawlessly. He could see the red rushing to her cheeks every time she forgot a step or missed a beat which just made him love her more and more.

The couples swirled gracefully around them but Jace took no notice, all he saw was Clary and that engagement ring nestled nicely in that box suddenly felt a heck of a lot heavier in Jace's pocket. As the large floor length, old style windows were open to the left of the hall, a cool breeze drifted through the room creating a natural air condition however it did nothing to cool Jace's heated body. It seemed the nerves were taking over. He had to get out. He had to just take a break, a quick one, no big deal.

"Hey Clary" Jace leant down and whispered in her ear, his lips softly brushing the vibrant red hair of his beautiful girlfriend.

"Mmm?"

"I'm just going to get a quick drink, is that okay?" Jace asked. He didn't actually want to leave her but he couldn't let her seem him unravel; he just needed a couple of minuted to collect his thoughts. Thank Angel he had the power to hold on to some sort of Poker Face in front of Clary to hid the butterflies making themselves at home in his stomach and his Angel blood pulsing rapidly through his veins. To be honest he wasn't sure his heart could cope. He kissed her sweetly on the hand and bowed slightly before walking towards the drinks table.

**-Impulses-**

_It was cool and the sky was black with grey clouds streaking across the sky. This may be the scariest part about wanting to marry Clary… Getting through Jocelyn. It wasn't actually that late but it seemed the sky didn't want to be on Jace's side tonight, he was kind of hoping for a heat warming sunset but it seemed not. Super._

_It wasn't a shadowhunter tradition, but since Clary was qualified as a shadowhunter yet, he thought it best to go this way. Jocelyn had renounced her duties as a shadowhunter and Luke was a werewolf so he guessed this was an okay thing to do. It must mundane tradition for the guy to ask for his girlfriend's parent's permission to propose to her and ask for their blessing. It was Wednesday night, and Isabelle had only just told him about the party for Clary, so he had to high-tail it to Luke's house. Jocelyn and Luke had married about two months ago but Jocelyn kept her name, Fairchild because Clary wanted to have that as he last name. Fray meant nothing to her but pain, deceit and secrets. At least as a Fairchild she felt part of something. Is her mother changed her name, so would Clary._

_He had arrived at the bookshop, Luke had said to just come around the back anytime but he knew Jocelyn wasn't as keen so he just rung the bookshop doorbell. He'd put on his best casual top, he didn't want to wind up in a suit or something but he wasn't going to ask Jocelyn and Luke if he could marry Clary in dirty jeans and some Tee-shirt with a not-so-innocent tagline. It wasn't long before he saw Luke coming towards the glass door, a quizzical look on his face. As he opened the door Jace saw the werewolf wearing jeans and a white shirt, that's all he wore. _

"_What can I do you for Jace?" Luke asked obviously knowing something was up, "I've told you to just come straight through the back mate"_

"_Yea see I would but I need to talk to you and Jocelyn…"_

"_Got it" Luke smiled slightly and led Jace through the musty smelling bookshop through a small wooden door into the house. Jocelyn was sitting in the lounge in a casual wing dress with her hair pinned up, pain all over her face and hands._

"_Been painting Miss. Fairchild?" Jace asked politely, his hands in his pockets nervously. He was never sure whether to call her Jocelyn or Miss. Fairchild. For these purposes, it was Miss. Fairchild._

"_Yes I have Jace. It's nice to see you but might I ask why you're here? You look awfully uncomfortable!" Jocelyn got up and quickly walked towards Jace concern on her face. He may not be her favourite person, but he was important to Clary and Jace knew she still cared about his wellbeing._

"_No I-I-I'm alright. I um… just need to talk to both of you. I that's okay" Jace was staring at the floor. Jocelyn looked at him for a moment before instructing him to sit in the armchair diagonal to the lounge. Clary's parents (well mum and step-dad) sat down and Jace slowly looked up at them._

"_What is it Jace? You seem rather unlike yourself" Jocelyn asked again, what was it with women and seeing right through his armour lately?_

"_Well, see I bought Clary this present. But I don't want to give it to her before I ask you if I can"_

"_Jace, please, no riddles. It's late and I have no brain capacity" Jocelyn let out a little laugh and Luke just smiled._

"_Okay, I'm sorry. Truth is I'm scared to death about asking you this. I love Clary. I've never loved anyone at all like this. And I know Miss. Fairchild that you don't fully trust me being brought up by Valentine" as Jace said this, Jocelyn shivered slightly at her ex-husbands name._

"_I just… I um… okay here it goes" Jace looked up at the couple sitting in front of him._

"_I want to marry Clary" he said quietly. The looks on Luke and Jocelyn's face were scaring him. They were completely blank with shock and surprise. Neither looked angry but Jace knew he probably shouldn't open his mouth. Instead he just reached into his pocket and polled out the box. It sat on the coffee table for a couple of moments in complete silence, but Jocelyn soon picked it up and looked at it, and the ring inside. When she saw the ring inside she gasped slighty._

"_You bought this, for my daughter?" she asked still not taking her eyes of the ring, "How much did this cost Jace? And don't try to avoid the question, I want to know how much it cost" Jocelyn then looked up and Jace knew he wasn't going to lie to her._

"_It cost $249,250 Miss. Fairchild. I know it's a lot, but it seemed perfect for her" Jace replied quietly a tiny bit worried about the woman in front of him and her reaction._

"_You spent that much on her without a second thought?"_

"_Um… yeah"_

"_Jace," Jocelyn started. "I want my daughter to be happy, if you make her happy then I agree to let you marry her. You're right I never trusted you 100% but I know that she does, I think that knowing you would do this for her shows me you have not a single slither of Valentine. You are nothing like him. You may marry my daughter" Tears started welling up in Jocelyn's eyes as she stared at Jace. _

_For a while, Jace just sat there not knowing whether this was for real or not._

"_I agree to Jace. You're a wonderful young man and I know you'll make Clary. Done Deal mate, you got my blessing" Luke smiled widely and Jace nervously smiled back._

"_Well… um thanks. Yea so er.. There's a party tomorrow night, Izzy's planning it as the engagement party thing" Jace stuttered slightly._

"_We got it covered Jace, invitation got here a couple of hours ago, but I think Isabelle made sure ours didn't mention 'engagement' part" Jocelyn smiled. He was going to marry Clary. Holy Crap._

**-Impulses-**

It was time, he'd cooled down, Clary smiling and he was so nervous. But it was time. He waltzed over to her, grabbed her by the waist lovingly and whispered in her ear, "I need to talk to you, follow me"

She did so without any argument. He led her out one of the open glass doors to the garden. Evidently Isabelle chose this location because of the beautiful view. The full moon was shining brightly down on the freshly mowed grass. They were surrounded by perfect hedges, and in the middle of a small path was a gazebo. He led Clary there and they stood for a moment. The music from inside was still slightly audible so Jace pulled Clary into the dancing position and swayed slightly with her. Fairy lights danced around the edges of the structure, it was beautiful. They danced for a couple of minutes before Jace pulled away slightly and looked into Clary's emerald green eyes.

"I have something to ask you Clary" he murmured to her knowing she could hear him.

"Ask away Jace" She replied quietly looking up at him. He felt so connected, so right when he was with her.

"Clary, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, I would die for you, I would do anything for you. Before I met you Clary, I-I wasn't a good person, my life had no meaning. I just stumbled through my life waiting for it to become worth something, but it didn't. And then you came, and you wouldn't let me just have you, you were strong. Diferent. Clary I am who I am because of you, you've made me someone worthy of love and trust, someone who is a better person than before" Clary's eyes were wide as he spoke, she was so shocked by what he was saying, it was very out of the blue but she just listened.

Jace was freaking out, what if she knew what was happening and didn't want it. He kept going however.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you Clary, forever" he murmured and fell slowly, gracefully, to one knee and let his hand clamp around the box. He pulled it out and stared up at he opening the box slightly. He saw her hands go over her mouth in surprise and shock her eyes as big as the full moon above them.

"Clarissa Fairchild, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

**Hehe, I am so evil**

**Will she say yes or no? Well maybe you'll find out after5 reviews? Maybe. Well I could always turn it into a complete tragedy and she says no…. it's up to you :) ahaha evil**

**I want to say thankyou to Alexander4life for the great idea of Jace asking for Jocelyn and Luke's blessing. I hope it is all you imagined.**

**Please tell me what you think.**

**Love it? Hate it? Want to eat it with disgust? Let me know!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	5. Dresses

**Ok,**

**So I think this one might be a bit of filler half way through but I did want to get it up ASAP. So here you go: tell me what you think…**

**_Impulses, Chapter 5: Dresses_**

Clary just stood there with her mouth covered by her delicate hands. Jace was starting to worry a bit, she was breathing heavily with wide shocked eyes just staring at the ring in front of her. Jace stood up slowly looking at her, the box still held tightly in between his fingers. He caressed Clary's cheek with on hand and whispered.

"Please, say something Clary" he was really starting to freak out; she was definitely going to say no, he just knew it. Jace could only just hear a muffled sound come from between Clary's hands.

"Oh My God" was he all could make out, was it a good oh my god or bad oh my god? He just wished she'd say something. Her hands slowly dropped to her side and she just stared at him before whispering,

"Jace… are you proposing to me?"

"Um… yeah" Jace shrugged which he regretted quickly. 'Great Jace make it look like you don't give about it' but he was cut off from his mental conversation by Clary jumping up onto him, her legs wrapping themselves around his waist as she hugged him tightly. She was shaking slightly and Jace could feel a small wet patch forming on the shoulder of his tux. He pulled her head back and looked into her eyes. She was smiling brightly as she looked down at him.

"Of course I'll marry you" she whispered to him her eyes sparkly in the night, happiness just rolled off her as Jace spun her around in circles in the gazebo. He couldn't believe she'd actually said yes to him. He was going to marry her! It was the best feeling in the world, like every bad memory or feeling that he had ever experienced had just disappeared from him because all that mattered was Clary. He'd never felt so happy having Clary in his arms.

**-Impulses-**

Clary couldn't believe what was happening; Jace had just asked her to marry him. It was completely out of the blue but how could she possibly say no to him. All she'd ever wanted was to be connected to him in every way possible and now she could. All that was running through her head was that they were going to get married. He spun her around and then put on back on her feet, he looked so happy. Clary watched as Jace pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger. It felt like nothing she'd ever felt before, the cool metal rubbing against her soft skin.

It was beautiful, Clary looked down at it and couldn't believe how amazing it looked, the silver wrapping around her finger and the diamonds sparkling at her as if winking and saying, 'good choice'. She noticed the golden lace wrapping around the bands and couldn't take her eyes of the ring that was going to stay on her finger. Jace pulled her into a tight hug and kissing her lips passionately but sweetly. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as his found their place on her hips. It wasn't a lie that that was Jace's favourite part to put his hands…. So far. And Clary knew it.

When Jace finally pulled away, he whispered into her ear, "Do you like the engagement party?"

"This is our engagement party?" Clary asked in complete disbelief. It was obviously the work of Isabelle but all these people. They'd all come to see her get engaged. It blew her mind if she was honest with herself. Well it blew her mind that Jace actually proposed! They had never really spoken about it or discussed it and so it took her completely by surprise but she wouldn't have had it any other way. She looked into Jace's eyes and leaned up for a kiss Jace obliging without argument. He pulled Clary into him, wrapping her up tight just the way she liked it and they just stood there for a moment enjoying their kiss. However it wasn't long before Jace pulled away and reminded her that they had to go back inside, congratulations were in order and Clary knew they wouldn't get this kind of alone time for the rest of the night.

**-Impulses-**

_Two weeks later_

Isabelle was already loading Clary up with wedding magazines and pointing out nice dresses, flower arrangements and everything else. It was utterly overwhelming but Clary pushed through because she knew that Iz was just trying to help. She'd asked her best friend if she would be her maid of honour and instead of getting a yes she received squealing and jumping up and down. So basically a yes.

They'd already been out trying on dresses! And Clary thought everyday shopping with Isabelle was disastrous, she didn't know anything until the first wedding dress trip. She shuddered at the thought. Clary had had to try on at least ten different dresses and hadn't really loved any of them, they were gorgeous of course but she knew she had to fall in love with the dress to get it. They weren't cheap and though Isabelle continued to remind her that money wasn't an issue, Clary couldn't bring herself to waist the Lightwoods money.

Jace had already bought his suit but wouldn't let Clary see it; _he_ didn't have to worry about putting on weight. Clary was worried enough she would have to wear an extra-large size dress and though she was fitting into Mediums at the moment, what if she put on more weight?

Jace was continuously telling her she was curvy not fat but she just didn't see it, and the Shadowhunter training wasn't helping. That was just another thing she had to organise, her Shadowhunter qualification. She wanted to marry Jace under a Shadowhunter ceremony but couldn't until she _was_ one. So that meant she had to hurry up and take some final exams and physical and combat tests. Back to the books and training room for at least a few weeks. She was going to get all this over with far in advanced so she could spend most of her time planning the wedding.

**-Impulses-**

"Isabelle, I just don't think it's the one" Clary complained to her friend whilst staring at herself in the long window. The long silk white wedding dress was hanging and grabbing in all the wrong places. The difficult thing was white was a colour for funerals in Shadowhunter custom but the colour for weddings in mundane. So Clary was just trying on any dress she liked the look of and seeing if it was the right one. She was just going by feeling at the moment.

"But Clary! It looks perfect!" Isabelle whined as she sat on the small sofa in the middle of the change rooms. Clary started to unzip her dress straight away ignoring Isabelle's comment and walking in an underdress back to the racks of wedding gowns. There were just so many choices. She picked out a tight fitted dress with sequins and jewels coating the strapless top. It hang down below her waist poofing out only slightly with jewels, lace and gems trailing the bottom of the dress. It had a small trail of twirling material like small waves. It just seemed perfect.

"Iz, what about this one?"

"Oh my Angel! Get it on! Now Clary! Try it on!" Isabelle yelped excitedly almost unable to stay seated.

"Okay, okay!" Clary got the assistant to help her pull it up and looked in the mirror. The corset hugged her nicely, making her breasts look bigger, not that Jace would care how big they were, but it was still a plus. The wavy trail behind her complemented her short figure making her look slightly taller and if she wore heels which was inevitably if Isabelle was coming with her, she would look even taller.

"Isabelle, I think this is the one" Clary said as she twirled around smiling to herself. She really felt like a princess in it, twirling around, she felt beautiful which didn't happen often.

"How much is it?" Clary asked the assistant

"Well it is a one of a kind designer dress, so that would obviously affect the dress and also it was hand sewn in France. So overall it comes to a total of $125,000 and that's non-negotiable" The woman explained.

"Isabelle that's too much I can't" Clary started but Isabelle interrupted her.

"Clary, do you] love it?" Isabelle asked.

"Well yes but-"

"We'll take it thank you" Isabelle said directing her answer to the assistant.

"Very good. I'll pack it up for you now?"

"Of course" as Clary slipped out of the dress and handed it to the assistant whom she realised was called Brianna, and went into a change room to swap from the under dress to her jeans and a top. Training was in a couple of hours but she didn't think it would a good idea to step out in her training gear. She really loved the dress and could only imagine what Jace would think when he saw her in it.

**Hey guys,**

**I know a short chapter but considering I got 6 reviews in less than a day I thought you deserved this :) **

**So yes Clary accepted but if you wanted to read the drama of her saying no, let me know in a review and I'll write you up a special "Clary declining" scene. Only if you want it though.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews guys, I really appreciate! Let's see if we can push it this time with 7 reviews before the next update. Next update we will be three months into the engagement and 1 month till the wedding. So yea 7 reviews guys… lets do it guys! **

**Thanks guys so much for the support! Love you all!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	6. Examinations

**Hello my readers!**

**I am so happy with how the story is going and all the reviews! It really makes my day. I would love to thank vampchick09 and 4evrJace11 especially for reviewing on almost every chapter! You really have no idea how good it feels to know that I have frequent reviews as well as readers.**

**I forgot to tell you in my last chapter's author's note. The picture of the dress is on my profile, so you'll just have to click the URL. Okay I know I said it would be three months into the engagement but I'm stepping that back a bit to 2 months because I wanted to write Clary attempting to complete her Shadowhunter Qualification exams. Here you go:**

_**Impulses, Chapter 6: Examinations**_

Clary was sitting in the Library, her head throbbing from concentrating so hard. She'd been studying intensely for the past week and training till she was utterly fatigued because tomorrow she had her final demonology exam and her sparring test. She just had to pass with a 55% average on the sparring and her demonology exam needed at least a 66/100. It didn't sound too bad but there was just so much to cram into Clary's mind, she thought she'd never remember it all.

Plus if she wanted to marry Jace under Shadowhunter law she had to become a Shadowhunter, so she was hitting the books. Alec had offered to help and Clary knew he hated this kind of stuff so it was pretty obvious he really just wanted to try and become a bit closer to Clary since she was about to become his sister-in-law.

"So what kind of demon has the ability to control the mind if it's victim has been bitten?" Alec asked looking at Clary who yawned widely in exhaustion. She was extremely tired of reading and reciting but she really had to pass this test.

"A um… I know it starts with an L" Clary replied, it was on the tip of her tongue but she just couldn't get it.

"C'mon Clary you know this one!" Alec encouraged, he was a really good friend and Clary really couldn't wait to have him as a brother.

"It's a… Leechoner!" Clary jumped up from her chair and started twirling around singing, "It's my happy dance!"

She was twirling around whilst Alec laughed at her loudly trying to stop his belly from hurting. Out of the corner of Clary's eye she saw a fleck of gold and abruptly stopped dancing. "Hey Jace" she said embarrassed.

"Hello gorgeous, nice dance" he walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist hugging her close to him kissing her hair softly. "The trainers want to move the examinations to this afternoon. Apparently it's non-negotiable. Are you ready?"

Clary knew her eyes probably grew to large disks in nerves and shock. She knew she was ready but that didn't mean she wanted to go straight in and do the exams now. It was only 7:30 in the morning so she had some time left to train and study but this afternoon was so soon.

What if she didn't pass? What if she failed? Or made a complete fool of herself? There was a sick feeling in the pit of Clary's stomach that wasn't exactly helping the nerves.

"I guess so. You said it was non-negotiable so… not much I can do" Clary replied hiding her face in Jace's chest. Alec jumped up, mumbled and excuse which most likely included Magnus and left the room.

"Baby, you're going to be fine. You'll do great" Jace whispered, pulling back so he could see Clary's face.

"I know but what if I fail?"

"You won't fail. I promise" Clary felt Jace's lips brush lightly against hers but she wanted more, she wanted him to make her forget about the stupid examinations. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer into her. She kissed him hard, moulding her soft lips against his.

It didn't take Jace very long, Clary noticed to get the general idea. His hands found their place on her hips, crushing Clary into him just the way she liked it. This was exactly what Clary needed at the moment; she was tired of studying and needed a distraction. She licked the bottom of Jace's lips lightly and he returned the favour begging for entrance. Clary didn't object and Jace deepened the kiss further, moving Clary backwards towards a wall and smashing her against it.

"Mmm" Clary groaned against Jace's lips as she hooked her legs around Jace's waist and felt his hands run down to her calves and squeezed them whilst pulling her up against the wall. Clary pulled away reluctantly and said, "When is the exam going to be?"

"Um… 2:30 I head" Jace replied a bit out of breath before crashing his lips back onto Clary's. It seemed Clary was going to get a long distraction.

**-Impulses-**

_Q56. You have just been in a severe fight with several unknown demons. You've been bitten by one of them on your shoulder. As you leave the scene and return to you base (this may be a home, the Institute of your city etc.) you start to feel a sharp pain running up your arm like splinters and needles. _

_From this description, please give all details as to what demon must have bitten you and how you will come about healing the injury._

_**NOTE: Clarissa, you may not write, 'I'd create my own rune'. **_

Under every question, the examination paper writers hadn't forgotten to remind her she couldn't use her ability as an answer. Party Poopers. She'd been answering numerous questions which all seemed alike to her for the past 2 hours and still had a good hour left to enjoy. Her fingers were aching and her mind was fizzy from all the concentration.

_**The demon would be a purple tipped Fras-car demon who had extended teeth to inject poison into my shoulder.**_

_**I would use my stele to draw a numbing rune on my uninjured shoulder (so that the demon blood doesn't affect it. If I'd put it on my injured shoulder, the demon blood would cancel out the rune) and I would go straight to the Institute. When I arrive I would request treatment from either a High Warlock or the Silent Brothers. **_

Boring. Boring. Boring. The papers just felt like the never ended. Maybe it was just Clary but the clock seemed to be ticking and tocking slower than usual… great even the bloody clock was against.

'Focus Clary, Focus' she chanted to herself staring back down to her paper.

_Q56. What Demon has more than two identical heads?_

_**A Spinder Demon**_

All clary could ask herself was, "Who really cares? All we really want to do is kill it"

**-Impulses-**

"Ughh" Clary grunted as she slid against the hard floorboards of the Institute's training room. Her examiner Marie was killer and wasn't going easier on Clary. Without a second though Clary jumped up back on her legs and ran towards Marie swerving to the side, her opponents blade only just missing her. Her feet pushed hard against the floor creating a brake and Clary lunged at Marie from behind winding her arms around her neck, she held on tight until Marie tapped her arm twice signalling she'd had enough.

"Round sixteen Clarissa, no blades. This one is sparring" Marie yelled from across the room. Clary ran to the opposite side to face off against her examiner. Sparring, her favourite. Marie ran forward quickly and was halfway across the room in a matter of seconds which was exactly what Clary wanted, let her run. Clary just stood still and stared at Marie still running towards her quickly. When Marie neared her Clary smiled evilly, turned and ran towards the wall only a couple of metres away, kicking off it, propelling into the air in a swift backflip landing behind a disoriented Marie. Clary ran up before Marie could turn around and smacked her arm against her examiner's back causing her to double over. Clary leaped on top of her and pinned her down so her opponent couldn't escape.

It wasn't long before Marie smacked the floor twice. Clary got off quickly and walked back to her staring point as Marie ran back to hers yelling behind her, "Round 17! Blades Clarissa!" Clary knew there was only 20 rounds to this examination but she was extremely tired, she would push through without a doubt but her bones still ached.

Clary pulled her double blades from their sheaths on her back and drew them in front of her in a defensive position. She saw that Marie and pulled her long sword from the mount on the floor and without warning ran to Clary. This time Clary ran straight towards her, reaching the middle point before Marie and leaped forward towards the ground, her arms extended into a forward flip. She sprung up from her hands, her blades still in a tight grip and kicked with her legs knocking Marie to the ground, skidding against the floor with a horrible screech. Clary landed gracefully on her feet running towards the examiner and leaping on top of her, one of the twin necks pressed firmly against her opponents neck. It was only a couple of seconds before Clary heard the satisfying double tap.

**-Impulses-**

"ROUND 20 CLARY! You know what that means!" Marie yelled from the opposite side of the training room. Clary just nodded. This was an all-out round, sparring, blades, runes, whatever. Marie ran towards one of the walls kicking off and side flipping next to Clary blades coming from the sheaths on her hip to come down near Clary but the short red-head was too quick and had run in the opposite direction towards the wooden beams towards the exit of the training room. She climbed quickly up to the top and balanced along the top beam close to the roof, a good fifty metres up. She looked down mischievously at Marie who was staring dumbfound at her]. Clary yelled out "Heads" but by the time Marie heard it Clary was already plummeting to the ground her elbow out to crash down on her examiners shoulder. They collided with a sickening crack but Marie didn't even wince she just twirled and smacked Clary to the ground, a hard.

Clary's head smacked against the floor in a stomach-turning bang that gave her an instant headache. Clary pushed her arms up knocking Marie off her and leaped up running towards her with two blades extended in front of her, Marie only had a few seconds to dodge Clary's blow and succeeded. Marie turned and smashed her hand down on Clary's shoulder causing the red head to fall for the second time in five minutes.

Clary was not going to give up that easily. She got back up and ran away from Marie watching her from the corner of her eye as her opponent chased her. Clary ran towards a corner in the walls and lodged her foot into it twirling into a backflip landing back on her two feet on the floor boards and started running towards Marie who let out a little yelp and tried to turn. It wasn't long before Clary had smashed the hilt of her blade against Marie's back and running around to her front and smashing her fist into her examiner's stomach. Marie fell to the floor with a grunt and without Clary having to even pin her down, she heard the double smack on the floor.

She'd done it. No more training, not more reading, no more of any of this! She was a Shadowhunter. Though she didn't know the outcome of her written exam, the combat exam was worth double the points. And she passed with flying colours winning 15 out of the 20 matches. There was no way she could fail.

She'd done it. Now she could focus on the wedding, which was in only two months.

**Well, tell me what you thought :) one reviewer asked for a more intimate moment, so I put a small one in here but there is definitely going to be another one in the next chapter when Clary El-Stresso.**

**So review review review!**

**In case anyone didn't see above, Clary's wedding dress is up on my profile so you can check it out if you want.**

**Those who want a rejection scene, I will do my best to get it to you but I'm pretty busy so please don't expect it straight away.**

**Thank you all sooo soooo sooooooo much!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	7. Time

**Hello!**

**I am so sorry my readers! I hope I haven't lost to many of you, school gets in the way far to often for my liking. If any of you have checked out my other story 'I am, Clarissa Fairchild' you will see that I decided against completing that story due to a minimal number of reviews.**

**Here is my hypothesis:**

**No reviews = No motivation = no story**

**So when I saw that I only got about 3 reviews on my last chapter I was sad but considering all of the reviews I have been getting, it's okay.**

**Just this once, another issue I had was that I couldn't… actually… log… in… awkward**

**Here it is:**

_**Impulses, Chapter 7: Time**_

It seemed that since Clary had become engaged to her perfect boyfriend Jace, she'd been non-stop sorting things out. Of course she had Isabelle to help her but there was just something inside Clary telling her this was her wedding day, hers and Jace's, nobody else's and that she should plan it. This however caused major levels of stress and less time for Jace which did not go unnoticed.

They were always arguing, about this and that… things that really did not matter at all. Evidently Jace was frustrated, but Clary was on her feet all day everyday trying to organise the ceremony that would to tie her to Jace forever. Three months into the engagement and things were just getting busier and busier, the wedding was in two months and it just felt like Clary had gotten nothing together. Isabelle had sorted out the flowers, specifically medianox flowers from Idris as they were Clary's favourite. Every time she saw them she remembered the Green-House where Jace took her on her birthday when Jace had first kissed her.

The dress was sorted, she just had to keep Jace's eyes away, just because she was now a qualified Shadowhunter didn't mean she was about to let some of the Mundane traditions go, she truly believed that is Jace saw her wedding dress something bad was bound to happen.

So as she sat in the cake shop by herself staring at the cake catalogue picturing chocolate, sponge, cheese and all other forms of cake, she wondered when this would all stop. Surely it wouldn't be this stressful for the whole engagement process.

"Are you okay Ma'am? Do you see something you like?" The overly round chef asked in his strong French accent. Clary had chosen a white tiered cake with small pale yellow flowers decorating the outside. It was beautiful and it apparently had a gooey mango centre, Jace would love it.

"Um, I'm looking to order cake number 57? If that is okay?" Clary asked standing up slightly to show the chef the cake she wanted.

"Of course, how far away is the wedding day?" He asked politely.

"It's in about a month, my friend will email you the date" Clary smiled at him as he said Au Revior and turned back to the kitchen.

As she walked back to the Institute, she felt a buzzing against her side and reached into her jean pocket and pulled out her phone. Of course it was none other than her perfect fiancé Jace Lightwood.

"Yes?" She spoke quietly into the phone glad to hear his voice,

"Where are you?" He could her the annoyance in his voice as he replied without even saying hello.

"Sorry, I was out getting the cake sorted out. I should be home soon" Clary told Jace hoping he wasn't to annoyed with her, it seemed she was always in trouble with someone. Isabelle for not organising the wedding, Jace for organising the wedding.

"That would be nice since I haven't seen you for the past two days" Jace had been down in Los Angeles on a training mission with some Clave instructors and other Shadowhunters. She had missed him of course but had also been so busy the days had gone by extremely fast.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm about ten minutes away" She muttered into the phone and hanging up before she could hear Jace's reply. She knew she was always out and busy but she didn't mean to not see Jace, it was just difficult.

**-Impulses-**

The oak door creaked open as Clary entered the large foyer of the Institute. She put her bags down on one of the hall cabinets and walked down to the kitchen. On her way down the corridor naturally she bumped into the annoyed Jace.

"Finally decided to come and visit?" He asked sarcastically.

"Do you want a nice wedding or not?" She asked in a sharp tone, he was just being unfair as far as she was concerned.

"Yea I want a nice wedding, which means marrying the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but how can I spend the rest of my live with you if I aren't even spending tome with you during our engagement?" His voice rose a little as he crossed his arms across his muscular chest.

"I'm just trying to plan our wedding the way we'd like it Jace" Clary mumbled quietly. She looked down at her feet and shuffled her thumbs together, "If you don't want that then you're marrying the wrong person" before she knew what was happening Jace's hands were passionately wrapping around her waist pressing her hard against him as he crashed his lips down on hers. They just stood there for a moment before Jace pulled away, his arms hanging loosely around Clary as he pressed his forehead down against Clary's which made her feel all warm inside.

"Clary, I don't ever want to be with anybody else. I just… want to see you, I want to be with you right now" He said to her swaying against her slightly which Clary liked.

"Okay" She mumbled quietly pressing her head into Jace's chest, letting him hold her tightly. She'd wanted this, having his strong arms hold her safely into him, keeping her from harm.

"It's just… there's so much to do and I'm never going to get it all done" Clary whispered into Jace's chest knowing he could hear her clearly.

"Baby, it's okay, maybe just let Izzy help out a bit more, you know she's dying to" Jace soothed her, rubbing her back slowly which calmed her down quickly, just his tender touch slowed her breathing and appeased her thoughts.

"You know what I think?" Jace asked quietly pulling away only slightly so he could look down to face Clary.

"That I'm being a stress-head, and should stop doing everything myself and-" Clary started but was cut off.

"No Clary, I think, you need to spend more time with me and stop worrying!" Jace hugged her closely and kissed her softly on the head. It was times like these when Clary couldn't even remember a time or place when she didn't have Jace, but thank god she had him right now.

**Ok,**

**I know this was a short chapter and I am extremely sorry but I need to explain so please stick with me!**

**Here we go:**

**Less Reviews = Shorter chapters**

**Less Reviews = late updates**

**More Reviews = Longer chapters**

**More Reviews = Earlier updates**

**Longer Reviews = Longer chapters**

**Longer Reviews = Earlier updates**

**Is that okay? I hope so. I do need encouragement to finish stories, so to give you guys encouragement to encourage me here's what I'll do: Over 10 reviews and you get the wedding scene next chapter! Hmmm? Less than 10 chapters will result in a filler chapter but you'll still get a chapter! I hope I'm not being to pushy… if I am let me know and I'll re-organise I promise. I don't want to be a pushy author.**

**Thankyou so much guys! I am terribly sorry for the late update! I am**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	8. Runes, Dresses, and Vows

**Hello my wonderful readers!**

**Thankyou so much for the reviews, I always knew you hadn't abandoned me but I just wanted to make sure… what do you feed a writing monster? Reviews that's what!**

**I'm am sorry to say however that this is a filler chapter because I didn't get ten reviews so the wedding scene isn't below…**

**JUST KIDDING! I want to say a major thankyou to you all; we've finally gotten there, the wedding scene! I really hope you enjoy this, you deserve it for reviewing and supporting me so much.**

**To all who have reviewed only every chapter (you know who you are *wink*) Thankyou ever so much so thankyou (how many times have I thanked you guys? You just want the wedding! So here it is) Oh yea and just so you know, the do not say 'I Do' because i always thought the runes were the sahdowhunter version of 'I Do' :D**

_**Impulses, Chapter 8: Runes, Dresses, and Vows**_

This was it, the day. She'd been waiting this for months, planning, stressing and freaking out but now her insides felt like jelly as she lay in her castle of doona. Today she was going to walk down the isle to meet Jace, perfect as he is and bind herself to him forever. She knew she would never ever be able to walk down that isle without tripping slightly, or falling and smacking her head on a seat, or being knocked unconscious… she was doomed.

Before she could count to 10, Clary could hear a loud banging on her door as Isabelle's voice travelled through the wood, "Clarissa! Get up! I need to start work understand! GET UP AND UNLOCK THIS DOOR!" she started screaming. The red head sighed slightly and got up off her bed and walked towards the now violently vibrating door. When Clarissa turned the knob and pulled the door towards her, the beautiful Isabelle Lightwood fell forward slightly loosing her balance on the eight inch Gucci heels she'd bought only yesterday for the wedding.

"Isabelle, it is 6 am and you're already dressed?" Clary asked in shock pulling her hair into a messy pony tail that was sure to cause moutains of knots later on, that was for Izzy to sort out.

"Clary, I am dressed, make-up upped and have my handbag ready. Not to mention the extra large tote bag I bought a week ago especially to fill with all the make-up, products, sugar, spice and everything nice to make you the most beautiful thing Jace has ever seen in his life. Sit" Isabelle pointed towards the comfy swivel chair that sat in front of Clary's desk and full length mirror. And so it began.

As Clary sat down Isabelle brought in the bulging tote bag which had written in old fashion cursive "Yea that's right, It's a Mary Poppins bag" which caused a small laugh from Clary. Isabelle hobbled over and dropped the bag down before pulling how the dreaded eyebrow pluckers.

"Let's get started"

So as Isabelle pulled out Clary's eyebrow hair and Clary tried not to yelp, what, It hurt like a bitch, All Clary could think was… just another step to the wedding, just another step to the wedding. After Clary's skin turned bright red, Isabelle smoother soothing gel onto her skin which instantly cleared the redness… thank Angel! Next was the hair… Clary was regretting pulling her knotted and matted hair into that stupid piny tail because as Isabelle drew the brush threw it, she was sure her best friend was trying to pull her hair out. Would it ever end?

**-Impulses-**

"Clary, stop complaining! Goodness! Just get into the bloody dress okay?" Isabelle was in what the others called a demanding mood. It was do this now, and do that instantly, but Clary could tell she was just excited about the wedding so she did as she was told. The beautiful dress slipped around her waist and hugged her breasts perfectly; she knew Jace would absolutely love it. Somehow she had managed to keep his prying eyes away from the dress. The strapless dress trailed down like cascading water, swirling and twirling into the material, the dress that chose her she thought.

Her hair was pinned up in a swirling bun, with small loose strands of her fiery red hair falling in curls around her neck. Isabelle really had outdone herself. Her eyes were a natural bronze that complemented her hair and her lips were a pale pink that matched her skin tone perfectly. The amount of hairspray Isabelle had used could probably fuel a jumbo jet put she had to admit, she looked beautiful, and wanted to cry. But she wasn't going to go through Isabelle's rant about having ruined the mascara which cost her $50 to buy… Blah blah.

So when her mum walked into the room and gasped quietly, tears prickling her eyes, Clary knew why. Her mother didn't say a word just ushered her down stairs for photos and some crying over 'her little girl growing up to damn quickly'. Luke was with Jace sorting the boys out but her mum had stayed with Clary… of course, no way was she leaving her 'baby' in the last moments she had her at home.

Yes, Clary finally got her mum to agree to her movie in with Jace, since they were going to be husband and wife soon, her mum couldn't stop her but she did want he mother's approval. It was frustrating all her mum's rules, but she knew it was only in her best interest. Or so Jocelyn said.

"Baby! You look… so perfect" Jocelyn whispered quietly hugging Clary tightly. It was weird, seeing her mum liked this, Jocelyn had always been strong, and Clary had never seen her cried as a child unless she was opening the box with J.C written on it, that stupid box caused so many riddles.

"Thanks mum" she murmured back into her mothers shoulder, Clary had to bob down slightly because of her newly found height; Isabelle knew her heels, now it was just time to head down to the beach and do the scariest thing she had ever had to do in her life.

Marry Jace.

**-Impulses-**

The car ride seemed to take forever, like Clary was sitting in the car as the world passed her by, but she wasn't moving. Doubts started running madly through her head. What if Jace wasn't at the altar? What if he told her he'd changed his mind and didn't want to marry her? What if he was kissing another girl? Oh dear god!

In her heart she knew none of that would ever happen and that Jace would never do anything close to that to her, but how could she not worry? She was about to commit herself to him in the tightest bond possible, would he be able to stay true to her forever, considering his past? It had never bothered Clary before but she knew Jace wasn't exactly a virgin, and would he be tempted in the coming years? She wasn't sure but now she just had to focus on not passing out.

Ugh the traffic was driving Clary insane, in classic wedding style there was of course the worst bloody traffic jam she'd ever been in was wasting a good lot of time. Watching the traffic move was like watching paint dry, if Clary hadn't put a rune on it. At this rate they were going to run classically late and it was shit.

**-Impulses-**

S it actually took the car 2 hours to reach the beach rather than 45 minutes so instead of Clary worrying herself crazy, she could only think about Jace thinking she'd stood him up, _at the alter._ What if he thought she didn't want to marry him? And left him alone like some spoilt bitch? This was going to be a disaster, she would finally get to the wedding and all the guests would be gone and Jace would have left as well. So Clary's heart fluttered with excitement as the car pulled up and she saw all the seats filled on the soft sand with a small table closest to the water and facing the ocean was her boyfriend, Jace Lightwood.

Isabelle hugged her arm slightly and quickly attached her five metre train into her pinned up hair before helping Clary out of the car. Her dress poofed out around her in Cinderella style the way she'd always dreamed it would and Isabelle helped pull up her dress so it didn't scape across the pavement. She smelt the salt of the ocean and the slight breeze caressed her face but her hair didn't fall apart at all.

There was a small tent just before the isle that Clary waited in trying not to hyperventilate with nerves and fear. She was about to marry Jace! The chair she was sitting on was unbelievable uncomfortable, or maybe it was just Clary but she was itching to stand up, Isabelle however had condemned Clary to the little stool whilst she went out and organised any final touches. Luke's head popped behind a little doorway in the back of the tent, smiling broadly.

"You ready sugar?" he asked sweetly. Luke was the closest thing Clary had to a dad, he basically was. When Clary lived with her mum in the old apartment before she had any idea about Shadow hunters and all that, Luke had always been there. She understood why now, but she realised he was the father figure in her life the whole time, so of course he was giving her away.

"N-n-no" Clary stuttered but got up slowly as Luke walked towards her looping his arm through hers so they were linked together in traditional style. He guided her towards the doorway of the tent that was closed for the moment.

"Wait!" Clary yelped loudly, "Where are my bridesmaids?"

"They're coming. Isabelle is-" Luke replied before being cut off.

"Here" Isabelle walked in causally, picked up Clary's train as Maia and Amatis filed in behind. It was an obvious choice, Isabelle and Maia, but she had to think about Amatis, would she even have wanted to be a bridesmaid? To have such a role in Clary's marriage to the boy who could've been hers? Well luckily she didn't mind and was filled with joy when Clary asked.

"Luke…" Clary whispered nervously.

"It'll be okay honey. Just wait for the music and it will all be okay. This is your day remember" Luke kissed her lightly on the forehead which earnt a smack from Isabelle and a, "foundation doesn't last forever you know!"

**-Impulses-**

Clary was basically bobbing up and down with nerves and utter excitement but she was almost dreading the sound of the music playing. But it happened and her insides turned to jelly. She'd chosen Cannon, it was beautiful and she'd always loved the piece. Before she could tell herself to calm down the flaps of material used as a door to the tent peeled back gracefully by Angel knows what and Clary saw all the guests stand. Her vision went blurry as Luke started walking and she followed. She couldn't hear the music anymore, or her mothers' crying, or even the "oohing" and "ahhing". All she could she was the boy standing at the alter with a look of complete awe on his face.

It seemed to take years for her to walk down the frangipani sprinkled isle but it wasn't long before Luke had placed her hand in Jace's and sat down. Her breath start to quicken as she felt Jace's familiar fingers squeeze her hand tightly before leaning down and whispering, "You, are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life" he then turned smiling to face the one and only Magnus who for once wasn't wearing something blindingly sparkly, instead he wore the traditional black cloak that the Shadowhunter priest 'thing' wore. Clary didn't exactly read everything she was meant to…

It wasn't long before Magnus started talking about marriage and all that stuff but Clary couldn't hear him, instead she could only stare at the ocean and revel in the feeling of Jace holding her hand so tightly. Before she knew it they were up to the vows which naturally they had written themselves.

"Jace" Magnus said. Jace fumbled in his pockets and pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper with biro scribbled messily across it, only Jace.

"Um…" Jace stumbled, "Clary, I'm not very good at this kind of thing so I'm going to start with I love you" it seemed once Jace got that out he was fine.

"Before I met you, I was nothing. I was a user, someone who girl's were told to look out for by their fathers. It was because I didn't have a reason to be any better, to be anything of worth. And then you stumbled into my life screeching in an ally that I was a murder when you saw me stab a demon" at this the whole crowd laughed loudly and Jace smiled.

"Then I saw you in the coffee shop, and I knew I had to know you more, Simon was sitting next to you and all I could think was, that should be me making you laugh and smile the way he did. Since I've known you I have become a better person, I am who I am because of you. I will never let you go, I will never hurt you, I will never let anything including myself bring harm to you. I will stay with you when you are sick and healthy, when you are sad and happy, when you want to kick me in places I can't say at this particular moment and when you want to kiss me. Clarissa Fairchild, you are the most important thing to me, and I will never be the same person again, because I love you" Jace breathed out deeply and nervously shoved the note back into his pocket and rocked back on his heels the way he did when he was anxious.

Clary didn't even know she was crying till she felt a tear run slowly down her cheek, Jace's hand reached out to grab hers once again whilst she grabbed her vows off from Izzy with one hand and started to talk.

"Jace, you crazy murdering, mango and Campbell's tomato soup eating fiancé of mine, I don't even know where to start. I've always felt like I was just stumbling through everything I ever did. I never felt important, worthy of anything, special of moderately pretty. But I guess I can't say the same thing now. Everyday I can say to myself that I am the luckiest girl in the world, I must be special and important to have someone like you beside me. I must be somewhat pretty to have you look at me the way you are right now and I must be worth something. Without you, I don't have a reason to be any of those things, but with you by my side I can conquer anything" Clary hiccupped slightly with utter nervousness which resulted in another round of laughter from the audience. This caused her cheeks to flare up in the red shade that she knew Jace adored so continued.

"I want to give you everything you need to make you happy, I want to never have to be the cause of you pain of hurt or tears, because Jace… we all cry" and another laughing fit began.

"I will never leave you, I will never hurt you, I will never take you trust for granted. All I need is you, and I love you" Clary slowly handed her piece of paper back to Izzy who had mascara streaks down her face but didn't seem to care as she snuggled back up to Simon.

"We now bring forth the stele that will bind these two, one man, and one woman, together for all eternity" Magnus smiled broadly at them both as Jordan Alec brought the stele up towards them. He looked suitable smart in a pale grey tuxedo. Jace took the small instrument and leaned forward.

"The mark over the heart, as marriage is bound not only on the outside but on the in, the heart is bound by it's choice, as Clarissa and Jace are to their love" Clary smiled anxiously at Jace as he brought the tip of the stele closer to her skin before whispering in her ear, "This hurts baby, a lot".

As the needle tip ran across her skin she gasped in pain, the burning sensation ripping across her harshly but before she knew it Jace was done. And now she had to inflict the same pain onto Jace, however he did not even flinch when she did so.

"The mark over the wrist and hand, as marriage is work not just affection and friendship. The hands link together in the hands of the loved one to connect on the outer sphere of the body. The wrist pulses with the blood of the marked heart and flows throughout the whole body, as the whole body becomes marked.

Jace brought the tip down on Clary's wrist and she shut her eyes tightly to stop from making a sound. But once again Jace did not even flinch. When it was all over Magnus stared at them with the biggest grin on his face… definetly up to something.

"I know pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood" Everyone stood up and clapped loudly cheering and screaming. But Magnus in classic Magnus style interrupted the celebration.

"And as requested by Mr. Lightwood, you may now kiss you bride" Jace turned with an evil grin on his face, his arms quickly winding around Clary's waste and his lips sweetly moulding to hers for a few seconds of pure bliss but he soon retreated as not to embarrass Clary in front of everyone. Not that she would have minded. He picked her up into his arms and carried Clary down the isle into the waiting car to head to the reception. As she pulled the whole dress in and closed the door, she felt Jace's hand entwine in hers as he leaned down towards her and whispered, "I love you Mrs. Lightwood" and then his lips come down onto hers with more passion that before.

Mrs. Lightwood, now that would take some getting used to.

**Hello!**

**Please tell me what you thought! This was extremely difficult to write and I re-wrote the whole thing twice, it just had to be prefect for you guys so show the love :D**

**I am really happy with it but I want to know your opinions, they matter to me… a lot.**

**Okay I would like to say a thank you to all those who wrote some long reviews… I couldn't believe it! Made my whole day! So remember what I put on last chapter… blah blah about reviewing! You're probably tired of hearing me order you to review… but REVIEW! Mwahahaha**

**The reception is next IF I get dun… dun… dun… 12 reviews? Please? I know I'm pushing it but these scenes are getting harder and harder to write! And I have homework, study, revision and oh god don't say it… exams + assignments so it isn't easy!**

**Thankyou**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	9. Authors Note

**Authors Note:**

**Hey,**

**I'm so sorry to all of you; this isn't a chapter I just really had to explain something to all you readers who mean so much to me. I didn't want you to not know what was going on and why there was such a long wait for the next chapter in **_**Impulses**_**. **

**I'm going through a bit of a rough time right now with myself and my family, I just am finding it difficult to write a story about love and marriage and all that when I'm having a hard time. I don't want to write a chapter and it not be up to standard because I'm feeling a bit down at the moment. You guys deserve the best I can give you and that's why it might be awhile to I update, I just need to get back in touch with me, and then I can write the chapter.**

**I promise you that I'm not stopping writing **_**Impulses, **_**I love this story I just don't want my judgement and feelings at the moment to cloud my writing. I hope you guys aren't mad at me, I know it's been awhile but I thought you deserved to know that it might take me some time to update. **

**Please don't give up on me, I will keep writing I promise, perhaps just at a slower rate, I need to focus on me as well to get back on track… so please don't hate me, I'm trying my best.**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	10. White Cotton Speeches

**Konichiwa! Okay, first of all I owe you all the biggest apology ever. I really appreciate the time you gave me guys, it meant so much to me and so I really hope this is a good chapter. Not my best but it is better than if I'd written it before hand when I wasn't really in a good place. So I would like to apologise for keeping you waiting and all, but I want to thank all of you who supported and stayed with me through this whole thing.**

**This is the reception so I hope you like it :D some speeches in here so let me know what you think okily dokily? **

**Without further or do, I present… chapter nine!**

_**Impulses, Chapter 9: White Cotton Speeches**_

The sheets of white cotton flowed in dips from the ceiling, small blue lanterns lacing the walls, Jace's favourite colour. Clary was proud of herself, she had planned most of it, the flowers, the colours, and the materials… even the seating arraignments. She had no idea how fickle Shadowhunters could be over who they sat with; it seemed there were a lot of unsolved family issues. But at this moment, sitting on the long oak table alongside her new husband she really couldn't care less.

There were circular tables for the guests with large bouquets of blue tulips sprouting out of vases in the middle and were absolutely beautiful. Clary had designed everything from the lighting to the meals everybody would be served, there was a menu for the guests. As Clary looked down at her own menu she had a tough decision to make.

_Entrée:_

_Honey grilled duck breast with rice and gravy_

_Light Garden Salad with Mango, Tomato, Red Onion and Chorizo_

_Satay Chicken Skewers with sweet & sour dip_

_Main:_

_Large/Medium/Small Caesar Salad (with or without bacon)_

_Steak (cooked specifically to order) with mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables and small chips_

_Light pumpkin soup with coriander and yogurt_

_Dessert:_

_Medium/Small Fruit cocktail with syrup, strawberry sauce and chocolate buttons_

_Medium/Small chocolate mouse cake with Vanilla/coffee ice-cream and caramel hazelnut praline_

_Selection of tarts and sweet pies_

_For any specific dietary needs please seek out one of the friendly waiters. Faries, for a menu on drinks please ask at the counter. You must present the waiter/receptionists with evidence of being a fairie before being provided with a menu._

It had taken Clary hours to come up with the menu considering who was coming. There were warlocks, werewolves, Shadowhunters, Fairies and whatever else Jace had invited. For some reason she really didn't feel like anything particular heavy so she went with the lighter options. It felt good to have Jace's hand entwined in hers under the table as they stared at the podium where numerous family and friends were giving their speeches. Now it was Alec's turn. Oh dear God, Clary thought, What was he going to say?

"When I first met Clary I thought she was just another bland, boring Mundie, that she was nothing important. Just somebody who kept screaming and getting us into life-threatening situations. But when she declared that with or without our help she was going into a room full of dangerous vampires to save her best friend who had been turned into a rat, I had the inkling she was something more, but I let it slip. Why would she be anything special?"

Alec was wearing a tight but simple tuxedo with a light blue tie that matched his eyes perfectly. He looked so wonderful standing up on the podium next to the long table that seated family and closest friends of Jace and Clary.

"It wasn't easy seeing Jace watch her, analyse her every move, lust over her… she was changing Jace right in front of our eyes, without us knowing. The way she wanted to keep her safe even though she was constantly causing us problems. Then we saw you fall, and boy mate did you fall hard. It was ridiculous! You two have been through so much I can't see anything stopping you know"

Clary felt Jace tighten his grip on her hand whilst still staring at his adoptive brother. Clary knew how much Alec meant to Jace, so it wasn't a surprise to see his intent stare.

"I have to say, now that I know Clary, I know I was devastatingly wrong. She is stronger than all of us. When Jace lost it… I couldn't believe how Clary came back from it, she just got up and kept moving. Without her, we'd all be lost"

Clary felt tears well up in her eyes. It wasn't a lie that her a Alec had never really hit it off, once her found Magnus things got better, but it still wasn't an easy breezy relationship. So to hear the things Alec was saying about her, it took all her strength not to run up and hug him.

"So yea… I guess that would be it" Alec nervously put the microphone down and stepped of the podium to take his seat next to Jace. Both of them gave each other what Jace called a 'Man Hug', didn't want to hurt his pride she supposed. But it was nice to see Jace showing some love to somebody other than herself, he still found it hard to show his emotions to everybody. Clary was working on it.

**-Impulses-**

The night seemed to rush past, speech after speech, crying adult after crying adult. Luke was crying for Angel's sake! Soon everybody moved off to the dance floor, linking arms with their partners.

"Can I dance with my new wife" Jace whispered into Clary's ear making her shiver slightly.

"I'll have to get used to that, wife and husband" Jace chuckled under his breath pulling Clary up slowly and walking towards the dance floor. Clary was blushing slightly as the crowd slowly moved to the sides of the floor. Clary could feel her cheeks flare up as she looked down at the floor whilst Jace led her to the middle. A guitar started to play quietly in the background and Clary recognised the song instantly, a male's voice began singing. It was the most calming and beautiful thing she'd ever heard.

_Well you done done me and you bet I felt it  
>I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted<br>I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back_

Clary felt Jace pull her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her back twirling her around on the dance floor, holding her so close she could feel his warm breath tingling her neck. They slowly moved together and it was just them together, nobody else. Clary felt like nobody else existed, nobody else was feeling what she or Jace was feeling, it was blissfully perfect.

_Before the cool done run out  
>I'll be giving it my bestest<br>Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
>I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some<em>_  
><em> 

Clary leaned into Jace, feeling his heart beat under his muscular chest, beating calmly. She wrapped her arms around her husbands… Pray to Angel she'd never get used to saying that… never! She wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and felt him pull her tighter against him if that was even possible. His hands fit nicely against her back amongst the waves of tulle.

_I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait, I'm yours<em>

It was only the beginning of the song but Clary felt like she'd been dancing for hours, she didn't mind though. It was absolutely perfect. Jace was hers, he was tied to her and nobody, nobody could ever have him the way she does right now. He was hers and she was his and Clary loved it more than anything else besides Jace himself. Marrying him-putting aside the stress and nerves-was the best thing she'd ever done.

_Well open up your mind and see like me  
>Open up your plans and damn you're free<br>Look into your heart and you'll find love love love  
>Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me<br>I love peaceful melody  
>It's your Angel-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved<em>

Jace dipped his head down slightly connecting his soft lips with Clary's, she couldn't have asked for anything more. It was sweet, something that wasn't passionate but loving and Clary could feel all of Jace's soul being poured into her through that one short, but beautifully sweet kiss. He pulled back but for once, Clary didn't mind she just wanted everything to happen as it should without either of them truly thinking or planning it. It would come naturally.

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait I'm sure<br>There's no need to complicate  
>Our time is short<br>This is our fate, I'm yours_

Jace twirled her around, she felt like he was showing her off, not in a 'trophy girlfri- wife' way but more in a 'This is the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life, and I get her for the rest of it'. Jace stared up into Jace's golden eyes, adoring what she saw, the liquid gold discs that shone brightly down at her, speckles glinting through his eyes. It almost looked as if the gold was moving. Angel, she loved him. 

_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
>And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer<br>My breath fogged up the glass  
>And so I drew a new face and laughed<br>I guess what i'ma saying is there ain't no better reason  
>To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons<br>It's what we aim to do  
>Our name is our virtue<em>__

Everything was exactly how she wanted it, not in a snobbish way but more-so in the 'it's my wedding day and its perfect' kind of way. She had her new husband holding her tightly as she listened to one of her favourite songs. Nothing could have soured this moment in Clary's mind. Nothing.

The song blurred into one as she slowly finished her dance with Jace. When the music came to an end Jace gave her a long, lingering kiss which caused an eruption of applause from the audience. It wasn't long before the guests began assimilating into the crowd circulating on the dance floor in a matter of minutes.

Clary didn't think anything could go wrong, it was like a fairy tale.

**Hey guys,**

**Once again a major thankyou!**

**Okay please please please please please tell me what you think of this! I'm thinking 10 reviews before the next update? Only 10 guys we can do it!**

**Xx **

**Green-doves**


	11. Red Figures

**Hey my lovely readers!**

**Wow eight reviews overnight! That is absolutely amazing! Just so we all know, I'm calling this a leading-chapter, a section of writing that will lead into the next section of the story, so it isn't very long at all so please don't review and say "to short". It is meant to be short **

**Some of you have got this inkling that there might be a 'storm' metaphorically… I guess we'll just have to wait and see…**

_**Impulses, Chapter 9: Red Figures**_

The night was beginning to chill, Clary's shivers became more frequent but she didn't mind. She just wanted everyone to be having a good time, it sounded ridiculous considering it was _her_ wedding, but she didn't want people to get bored or be uninterested.

"Hey, you cold" Jace came up behind her, wrapping his strong, safe arms around her waist. They were standing on a small balcony off one of the large glass doors. The breeze caressed Clary's face and bare arms, chilling her which didn't go unnoticed by Jace.

"Just a bit" She replied quietly looking out. She didn't know exactly what she was looking at but she felt peaceful.

"Here" Jace pulled his tux jacket off and draped over Clary's shoulders to give her some warmth. She turned to look up into his eyes, and smiled slightly. He pressed his lips sweetly down onto hers for a brief second before pulling her closer to him, looking out with her.

"You know, I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect" Jace said quietly.

"I'm glad, I wasn't easy to bring together and I-" Clary started before being interrupted.

"I was talking about you" Jace whispered into her ear. He slowly kissed her neck lovingly making her sigh against him. The things he did to her was unbearable. She didn't even care if people saw them; she wanted to be with him right now, to have him hold her the way he was.

Clary let her eyes flutter closed for a moment before she caught a red dash run across her vision. Jace hadn't seen it and was still kissing her neck, tangling his fingers through the tips of her hair.

"Jace…" Clary started.

"Yes baby?" Jace answered not taking his face out of her flaming curls.

"Um… I think there was somebody down there" She whispered but Jace simply replied, "Nobody that we have to worry about, if they were part of the reception they would be up here" Clary just nodded slightly trying to make herself believe what Jace was telling her, but something kept nagging at her, tugging at her heart like a cat tugging on string. There was something up and she had no idea what it was. It was unsettling.

Then suddenly she saw the red flash past her vision again, and then as she tried to follow the figure, her ears were filled with a blood curdling scream.

**-Impulses-**

Clary was running down the stairs to the foyer of the building as quickly as she could, which wasn't very fast considering her dress. She just kept running till she reached the gardens out the back where she heard the scream. Jace was rushing after her calling her name with a blade at the ready, no doubt Alec and Isabelle were following and Angel knows who else.

She felt her chest tighten as she struggled to breath, she'd been taking some time off training to get the wedding and reception together, so even though she was a Shadowhunter, she was extremely unfit and knew she would not be fighting anything tonight is Jace got his way. Running through the dark gardens she followed the smell of blood, making her stomach churn but she continued to run. The smell became overwhelming as she turned and saw a small frail body drenched in blood lying in a crumpled position, Clary halted suddenly and let out a small scream piercing the night sky.

"Clary! Wait!" She could hear Jace yelling and as he came up behind her and say the body he wrapped his arms around his wife trying to calm her.

"Baby, it's okay" Clary's breathing began to quicken, she didn't know why. She'd seen far worse things than that but it was causing her to reach hysteria worrying Jace. "Hey, it's okay, it's okay I'm here understand? I won't let anything happen to you" He pulled her into him tightly Clary felt his chest rise and fall against her check which soothed her slightly.

Alec had run over to the body to check the pulse quickly, "She's alive but only just" So it was a female… Clary started to shake violently, not just from the cold. Jace had to grip her hard against him to stop her from falling to the ground; she couldn't hold her own weight anymore.

She realised what was doing this to her. It wasn't the fact that this had happened, but it was who it had happened to. Lying before her was none other than…

Jocelyn Fairchild.

**Hey guys,**

**Okay I know this was short but I didn't know how to finish it in one chapter, I wanted this to be a massive cliffy **

**Okay, so I got eight reviews so quickly I thought you deserve an update now. Next chapter please perhaps… another 10 reviews? I don't want to push it too far and make reviewing a chore, I want my readers to do it because they want to tell me how they feel about the story and my writing.**

**Tell me what you thought, favourite parts of this leading chapter (well it isn't really a chapter is it?) and favourite parts of the overall story :D**

**Thanks guys.**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	12. Needs

**Hello!**

**I feel so good being back on track with my writing, I feel like this is going somewhere good. I am really happy with the responses I got from my last leading-chapter, I think it was what I expected but I'm happy it's turned out well. I'm not sure if I got 10 reviews, but I really wanted to update for you anyway. So here it is.**

_**Impulses, Chapter 11: Needs**_

Clary was shaking violently in her husband's capable arms trying to get the image out of her head. The all too familiar lines of her mother's face streaked with blood, her eyes staring up into the sky like glass disks, unmoving with little life in them besides the small glint of emerald still shining. Her mother's hair was a mattered mess but Clary couldn't care less, she just wanted her safe.

As soon as Luke had arrived he'd called his pack and they'd lifted Jocelyn on their shoulders, carrying her to Magnus' where he promised he would do all he could. Jace was hugging Clary on the sofa out in the front Living room of the sparkly warlock's apartment.

"Shhhh baby, shhh" Jace whispered soothingly into her ear pulling her hair behind her ear so he could stroke her check lovingly but Clary couldn't calm. Her breathing was slowly getting faster like she was about to hyperventilate as she recalled the images of her limp mother lying in a pool of blood. Jace was hugging her tightly against him trying to comfort her but it seemed little was working.

She wasn't even crying, she was just letting out small high pitched wails of utter grief, her face hidden in Jace's chest. Her breath heavy and quick.

**-Impulses-**

Jace hated to see her like this, heck he'd never seen her like this and it was driving him insane knowing he couldn't calm her down. She just hid in his chest in complete disbelief and overall heartache. Out of all the days, it was their wedding night and look at her. His wife was an utter mess and he couldn't do anything, there was no way she could handle being in the same room with Jocelyn, or anyone with her blood on them at all, it would send her into complete hysteria which he had only just managed to coax her out of.

There was definitely something odd about what was going on and he intended to find out what it was, nobody hurts his family like this, ever. And he didn't just mean Clary, Jocelyn was his family to now, well she always had been, she was Clary's mother and if Jace loved the short little red head then he loved her mother. That was just the way it was, nothing more to it.

Alec opened the door to one of Magnus' bedrooms which held the frail and injured Jocelyn as well as Magnus, Maryse and Luke. Jace caught a glimpse inside the room for a split second through the opening in the white wooden door. Jocelyn was lying on a soft single bed with Magnus leaning over her with a solemn expression planted on his face, Jace could see Jocelyn's blood soaking into the sheets but it seemed Magnus didn't care. Anyway, it wasn't like he couldn't just snap his fingers and have them clean, or even demand new ones.

Luke was gripping his wife's hand tightly, the skin over her knuckles white only just tightly stretching over the bone. It wasn't a sight Jace wanted to see but he would rather make sure he saw it than Clary; it would cause her to leap out of control in a matter of seconds. Alec closed the door behind him blocking Jace's view of the room not to his disappointment.

"Hey man" Alec came over to sit on the coffee table staring at Clary in Jace's arm, Jace could only imagine how vulnerable she must look to him right now.

"How is-" Jace asked but when he heard a whimper from Clary cut himself off quickly and turned his neck towards her disappearing amongst her curls to whisper into her ear.

"Baby, it's okay… She'll be fine, I won't let anything happen… I promise baby, sssh"

Jace looked up at Alec again after attempting to comfort Clary and saw Alec shake his head slightly with a grave expression. Alec got up quietly and left the apartment, leaving a note for Magnus on a small hall cabinet.

Jace wasn't sure what he was going to tell Clary, he just didn't know anymore.

**-Impulses-**

It had been two days since Clary's wedding night, her mother wasn't doing any better and she just felt like completely giving up one everything, she didn't know what to do anymore. She needed Jace so much but she couldn't have him 24/7 to stop her moping, she didn't want that for him.

Magnus had moved Jocelyn to Luke's house so Clary moved out to live with Jace in this Institute; they were going to make the move anyway, now they just had extra incentive. She had done up Jace's room a bit, painted a feature wall behind his bed the colour of the ocean. She'd pinned up artworks and pictures of them together on the walls and even bought a small grey rug for the floor which she always layed down on to draw.

Jace didn't mind, but she didn't want to take his room away from him so let him keep his neat white bedspread and monk styled piled clothes in his drawers. If it meant he was comfortable and she was comfortable, then it was good. All she wanted was for her mother to be okay, she was sick with worry and couldn't take her mind off the situation, it was driving her mad. Of course, she was trying to be positive but it was the easiest thing the world when her mother was unconscious and nobody knew if she would live.

A though struck Clary as soon as she walked towards the door, she need a distraction. And she knew exactly where to get it.

Jace.

**-Impulses-**

Clary had found Jace in the training, room but it didn't take long for him to get the hint and rush to the nearest room. As soon as he closed the door he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, pulling her into him kissing neck passionately, pulling lightly on the sensitive skin, his tongue drawing light circles make her shiver and moan quietly. She locked her arms around his waist in return and leant her head back giving Jace more access to her neck. He was kissing her so passionately it was driving her insane. He slowly moved her back to fetch up against a wall, his arms untangling themselves from her waist and reaching under her thighs to push her arm.

Clary wrapped her legs around Jace's waist, her hands finding their way to his hair as Jace moved slowly towards her lips. He was tantalisingly close it was all but killing her, he slowly kissed down her jaw paying special attention to the skin under her chin. All she wanted was Jace, this was exactly what she needed, a few moments with just her and Jace to take her mind of the situation. Of course it would have seemed like she was being selfish and cared little about her mother but it all honesty it was completely the opposite.

She cared so much it was draining her, she couldn't do anything but think about her mum so now, she really needed the life breathed back into her, and Jace was the only one who could do this for her.

His tongue only just meeting up upper lip when he pushed his body closer against Clary, crushing her under him. She moaned loudly exciting Jace.

"Moan my name" he whispered into her ear before releasing his hand from under Clary's curvy thighs and trailing up her body to her hair. He pushed her up further and kissed just below her neck whilst Clary murmured Jace's name. Everything she needed was up against her… and she loved it.

There was nothing but Jace, he was everywhere. She could feel him, see him, smell him, taste him… it was like he was all that existed for her. Jace finally locked his lips passionately with Clary's their lips moving at a fast rate as Jace pressed his body harder and harder against Clary who had her hands in Jcae's hair, her favourite spot.

"Jace…" Clary whimpered slightly against his mouth but Jace knew it wasn't from pain or worry so he didn't stop. It wasn't long before Clary had her top off and Jace was in the midst of taking his off, and before long they found themselves tangled together on the bed.

**-Impulses-**

Clary woke up at around lunch time after a short nap with Jace's arms locking her in his grasp. He was breathing so peacefully; Clary had managed to put her underwear back on before snuggling up to her husband, as did Jace but she soon let her stress and exhaustion take over.

As soon as she woke up however she remember her mother… was she shallow? Was she a horrible daughter? Was she a horrible wife? Using Jace to escape her fears? Surely Jace knew her intentions but what if he didn't? Did that make her a slut?

She didn't even want to think about it, the fact that she had used Jace to forget about her mother for a few short hours, before she was sure it was the right thing… now her perception of what she had chosen seemed wrong to her. She shuddered violently at the though, waking Jace. She turned in his arms knowing he was awake now and stared into his honey gold eyes filled with desire and love for her.

"Hello" he whispered quietly smiling at Clary, his smile made her heart flutter like a small bird every time she saw him smile, well every time she was him at all.

"Hey" Clary whispered back, nuzzling her head against his shoulder looking for some form of comfort. She felt so empty and hollow at what she'd done and had decided that she was wrong. She shouldn't have looked for a distraction through Jace, it was as bad as using his body only for her needs (if you could even call it that), not caring about his feelings or desires. She felt horrid and couldn't even face him, knowing the choices she had made.

Whilst her mother laid in a bed suffering and in pain from an anonymous attack, she decided to forget about her mother and go and do whatever the hell she wanted to run away from her anxiety. She knew that it took a heck of a lot of strength to face up to someone's terrors, fears and worries, but instead Clary had coward away from them using the one she loves most as something close to a 'toy' to occupy her mind.

"You look deep in thought" Clary could only just hear, her flaming curls covering her ears. She pulled back slightly to look into Jace's beautiful eyes, what she would give to have eyes like his, that someone could stare into for hours and hours.

She decided, she had to tell Jace her intentions, they were husband and wife after all right? Right? Angel even she didn't know if that justified anything, she was a hopeless case.

"Jace… I'm so- so-" Clary burst into tears instantly as soon as her mouth tried to form the words but they couldn't. Jace's face was painted with worry as he drew her into him murmuring into her ear.

"Baby, is it you're mum? It's okay I'm here baby, I'm here" He rubbed his arms up against Clary's back soothing her slightly. She pulled back to look at him.

"I'm sorry Jace…" she felt new tears stain her already wet cheeks but she had to do this, she was such a mess.

"Clary what on earth?" Jace started but was abruptly cut off.

"I used you" Clary murmured in a small, fragile voice that sounded as if it could break with the slightest touch, like shattered glass.

"Clary you didn't-"

"Jace, I need to get my-my m-mind of everything, I couldn't h-handle it-t anym-m-more… so I-I looked f-for a distrac-ction…" Clary had to tear her eyes away from his face because she knew he would be frowning at her.

But he wasn't, he was smiling slightly, that arrogant smile that she seemed to have an ongoing love-hate relationship with.

"Who wouldn't?" He asked in an ignorant tone, but then turned serious. "Clary, I knew what was happening when it happened; I knew what was going on. If I didn't like it or felt uncomfortable then I wouldn't have done it… I'm a big boy Clary you would know…"

"Jace!" Clary punched him in the arm softly but smiled a bit.

"Baby, it's okay, everything with your mum and stuff is taking its toll. It isn't a bad thing to need to be distracted that is not something to be ashamed of. I would have wanted the same thing, and who else were you going to turn to? Angel I hope no one else! Plus, we have hardly had any alone time lately, I mean our reception was cut short and there is no way I am taking you to the honeymoon like this!" Jace was hugging Clary tightly, and she wondered if he actually knew how much better she felt… wait a second.

"Honeymoon?" She asked quietly.

"You didn't think I'd forget about a honeymoon did you?" He asked faking hurt but laughing quietly at her.

"Of course not… I just…"

"We can sort it out later baby, for now, let's get some lunch. I'm starved. Taki's?" Jace asked.

"Taki's" Clary replied smiling broadly up at Jace, so maybe she wasn't a slut after all… she hoped not.

**I have no idea how many reviews I got, I just really wanted to upload because the reviews I got really made me smile and be happy about my story, it's going somewhere good I know it **

**Hopefully you liked this chapter, Clary was a tiny bit bipolar but I think it fits considering her circumstances and all, you know reception ruined by her mother almost dying, her feeling like a slut blah blah you get it.**

**Now please give me ideas… some of the best chapters in my opinion were formulated through ideas from reviews that you readers gave me so please send in the love and ideas with that little yellow box below marked 'review'… I'll love ya forever.**

**Xx**

**Green-doves.**


	13. How Much More Can I Take?

**Hello my lovely readers,**

**Now, on my last chapter I didn't write a certain number of reviews of was requesting before my next update. So I didn't get very many reviews, my gorgeous readers, I need you to review because you want to review as well, I would rather reviews than favourite stories and stuff **

**Can we make a short deal here? This is what I was thinking readers:**

**Review please when you can it means so much to me if you can review on one chapter maybe review on them ALL! Yayay!**

**If you are going to subscribe to me as a favourite story/author or just a story/author alert, please review as well. That is the condition Subscribe=review first **

**I hope that's cool with you, if it isn't and I am just being super mean and bossy let me know kay? So thankyou to those who reviewed/subscribed and here is you're next chapter:**

_**Impulses, Chapter 12: How Much More Can I Take?**_

Clary was sitting comfortably in Jace's arms, eating her banana pancakes, across from her was Isabelle and Simon who were snuggled up in the same position.

"Tasty gorgeous?" Jace whispered into Clary's ear, tingling her skin slightly.

"Mmhmm" she murmured back, keeping her mouth closed due to the food already inside it. Clary was sure Jace didn't need to see mushed up banana pancakes. Kealie had been serving them but when Jace saw her attempt to spit in Clary's joke, he requested to see the manager and asked for a new waiter, so at least Clary didn't have to see any more of those longing, lustful look she gave her husband.

Clary was thinking about how she should go and see Magnus, she hadn't seen him since then incident on the night of her reception and wanted to catch up. As annoying as he was, she loved Magnus and Clary was an expert at dealing with annoying people; she was married to the king of it after all.

When she swallowed her mouthful she turned to Jace, "I want to go see Magnus after this, that okay?". Even though she knew it was fine, she always wanted to check with Jace. Clary had no idea why, but she liked him knowing where she was, so that Angel-forbid she do something stupid or get into trouble which was likely, she knew Jace knew where she was.

"Babe, you gotta train, you've let it go and you're not as fit as you should be. Can we see Magnus tomorrow? I'll train with you if you want" Jace replied, though she hated to admit it, he was right and there wasn't anything Clary could do or say to get out of training. Angel she hated it.

Anything sweaty was not good in her opinion… except perhaps Jace…

"Okay" The short Shadowhunter said before popping another piece of pancake into her mouth. She was interrupted by her phone vibrating on the table. When she looked down, she saw that Luke was calling her. Clary quickly swallowed her pancake and excused herself. She answered the call as she walked out of Taki's to talk to her father in law.

"Hello" She asked into the phone recognising Luke's voice instantly.

"_Hey Clarissa" _ Clary could hear the panic in the werewolf's voice before he had finished the sentence.

"What is going o-" she tried to say but was interrupted by a frantic reply.

"_It's your mum Clary; she's gone into cardiac arrest" _

**-Impulses-**

All she remembered was falling; it was almost in slow motion. The trees surrounding her stretching taller and taller, the sky turning white and the people around rushing towards her. Then the crack, her head smashed against the concrete pavement and she was knocked unconscious. The clatter of her phone smashing against the pavement was completely unheard by the gasps the surrounded the red head.

Somebody a called 911 and an ambulance was on its way. Strong, scared arms wrapped around her, pulling her limp body into him as he held her watching her breathing, making sure her pulse was steady. There were a few moments where it quickened, a few moments when it slowed but on average it was normal.

The ambulance arrived and Jace placed his wife on the stretcher that was pushed into the back of the emergency vehicle. Naturally Jace requested to come with her, there was no way he would leave her. Isabelle and Simon picked up the remains of Clary's phone, a shattered screen, a snapped in half sim card and a few loose buttons. Simon had called Luke back to explain what happened whilst Isabelle called Maryse.

It was havoc, and as Jace sat in the ambulance, holding Clary's hand he did not forget to mention that she was a 'special' patient that wished to only see Doctor Greshlim. The only Shadowhunter doctor in the hospital they were going to but thank god he was on shift today. Jace still didn't know what had happened, except that she had fainted and was growing increasingly pale.

"She's going white" He whispered to the paramedic to his left who was pushing on her ribs to check for broken bones. He looked like a sweet man, middle aged with smile marks creasing his skin. A receding hear line but a comforting smile that kept Jace calm.

"Hmm… She is" The man said moving his hands up to Clary's neck and then on to her head. When he drew his hand back, his fingers were tainted with blood.

**-Impulses-**

"She's bleeding from the head" The paramedic whispered before yelling to the driver, "We've got a bleeder from the head, turn the sirens on, let's move she's as white as a bloody ghost!"

Jace stared down at the woman in front of him, the colour draining from her cheeks, no wonder she had been knocked out for so long, she was bleeding from the head! Angel he was so stupid! What was he going to do?

"Is she going to be okay?" Jace asked nervously but tried to keep his voice even, if Clary could hear him which was highly unlikely, he wanted to keep her as calm as possible.

"We are not sure but we are going to do everything that we can to help her sir, I promise" This relaxed Jace a bit knowing that these mundanes were trying everything to help her. It was crazy, two Fairchilds down in one week! And nobody knew what was _actually_ wrong with Jocelyn. She was still unconscious herself and extremely weak, she'd lost a lot of blood when she'd been attacked… had she been attacked? Nobody knew.

Suddenly Jace could feel his breathing become uneven as he stared at his wife, this did not go unnoticed by the paramedic, "Sir, it's okay please take a deep breath" The man came over to Jace's side.

"My name is Daniel, can you tell me what you're name is?" He asked kindly, it was odd, Jace was never _kind_ to mundanes, he saw them as a nuisance most of the time… oblivious to everything around them, the dangers they put themselves in. But this man, Daniel was so kind and compassionate to Jace, it really made him slow his breathing down.

Úm… J-J-Jace… my name is Jace"

"Okay, then Jace, is this you're girlfriend?"

"My wife" Jace replied quietly, never taking his eyes of Clary's closed lids. Her beautiful, perfect face that he knew so well, he soft lips that tasted so sweet when he kissed her, those baby soft cheeks that flushed pink whenever she was embarrassed just the way he liked.

"You're wife, okay, then Jace, can you tell me what you're wife's name is?" Daniel said reaching over to a small needle of pain killers that her pressed into Clary's upper arm.

"Her name is Clary" Jace replied, only slightly louder than a whisper.

"That is a very beautiful name. Has she had a past of fainting?" Daniel asked still working on Clary, checking her pulse and writing down notes.

"No, but she has fallen before, at a club… she was knocked over" Jace murmured. The ambulance lurched to the left as the emergency vehicle parked in the emergency slot of the hospital, before he knew it Clary's stretcher was being pulled out of the back of the ambulance and thrust through the doors to the hospital.

Daniel walked quickly but stayed beside Jace the whole time, and kept on saying encouraging things that kept Jace half way sane. What the hell had caused this he wonder.

His phone rang, but he didn't answer it. There was no message left so it can't have been that important.

But then it rang again.

And again.

The fourth time Daniel told Jace to answer it.

"Hello?"

"_Jace! Where the hell are you? You need to get to Luke's now!"_ Jace could hear Magnus' voice rising which was rare.

"I'm at the hospital with Clary" Jace replied becoming slightly worried.

"_What happened to Clary?"_

"She fainted after getting a phone call, hit her head. Lost a heap of blood Magnus" Jace replied but was cut off.

"_I bet I know who called her then. It was Luke Jace, Jocelyn went into cardiac arrest, her heart stopped Jace" _Magnus said quietly through the phone.

"What?" Jace asked, his insides turning to jelly, his legs unable to support him any longer. He felt slightly dizzy so grabbed a seat outside the receptionists desk.

"She what?" Jace said again.

"_Her heart stopped" _Magnus repeated again in a solemn voice.

"_Jace, I've looked over her. Jocelyn is brain dead"_

**Okay,**

**So I know this is a bit short but I am sorry about that. I found this one hard to write because so much was going on. I am sorry about the length but I feel that this is where this chapter should end.**

**Okay so please tell me you're favourite bits, characters blah blah in a you-know-what… REVIEW!**

**Oh how I love reviews. Anyways 10 reviews before next update, I really want to hit 100 reviews!**

**If you haven't already, check out my latest story, **_**Falling**_** and please review and all that jazz on that one two. **

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	14. Emerald Green Eyes

**Bonjour!**

**I want to really thank you all for reviewing; it means so much to me. So many of you have reviewed on every chapter and it just makes my day and makes me want to keep on writing! 100 Reviews! How exciting guys! And it is all thanks to you! So once again Merci!**

**I wanted to ask you, I know my grammar and spelling isn't perfect, and I do apologize I am getting a beta to help me out, but I got a review saying that it was "shocking"… do you think this is true? I didn't think it was… but now I'm kinda down about it. So yea let me know? Also am I to pushy for reviews? I got told that to, I want to be a good author that's all…**

**Anyway… Here's your chapter:**

_**Impulses chapter 13: Emerald Green Eyes**_

Confusion wrenched the world into its hands, roiling and flipping it. It conquered Jace's mind, causing havoc. He couldn't possibly process the extent of Jocelyn and Clary's injuries. Clary was still at the hospital after undergoing a concussion and some slight bruising to the brain. Although the injuries were disastrous, they were still better than the results the paramedics had originally predicted. But, he couldn't say the same for Jocelyn. Brain dead? What the hell did the term "brain dead" even mean? Did it mean that her brain was _actually_ dead, or did it mean that she was suffering from brain damage?

_Damn it_, Jace cursed. He felt like his world was shattering in front of him, as if somebody had taken a shot at the seemingly bulletproof walls he had worked so hard to build. He didn't know what to do anymore, and if he tried to build his life back up with the shattered segments of glass, he would just cut himself. However, if he abandoned his life, he wouldn't be able to move in fear of cutting his feet.

It seemed like there was no answer. There was nothing that he could do now that would let him escape from the highway of depression and worry. His wife was unconscious in a bed and he wasn't even allowed to visit her yet, and his mother in law was… He couldn't even think about it anymore.

"J-Jace?" A small, meek voice broke the Shadowhunter out from his haze of thoughts and back to hellish reality. Lifting his head from his hands, Jace recognized the petite girl with jet black hair.

"Aline?" Jace asked, staring into her eyes. Against his will, Jace recalled when Clary had caught him and Aline in the middle of a make-out session. He hadn't known what to do then – he had just figured out that the love of his life was his sister, and having a relationship with her was absolutely forbidden. And then Aline was just _there_, and she seemed like the perfect distraction for Jace at the time… As he stared at her, Jace once again acknowledged that Aline was in fact, very pretty. However, in Jace's eyes, Clary would always remain the most beautiful girl that has ever existed.

"Um…hey," Aline replied quietly, fiddling with her fingers nervously.

"What are you doing here?" Jace didn't want to be rude since he didn't actually have anything against Aline. But, since the incident in Idris, the uneasiness between her and Clary had grown, and that made it difficult for him as well.

"Um…no particular reason I just –"

"Aline, seriously, why are you here?" Jace questioned; she never seemed to care about Clary before. Was one of her parents sick?

"Okay, don't laugh at me please," Aline begged. Taking a deep breath, she explained. "I came here because I had heard about Clary, and I came to see if…you were okay, and how Clary was doing…" Aline didn't dare look into Jace's golden eyes. Jace had known she was nervous but he was slightly surprised at Aline. She didn't ever seem to _like _Clary, but the fact that she was holding a bouquet of delicate pale pink tulips – no doubt for his wife – made him think twice about the intentions of the lady in front of him.

"Why don't you sit down?" Jace asked gesturing towards the seat next to him.

"Um…okay," Aline replied nervously while walking awkwardly to the seat. The tulips in Aline's hand looked beautiful and Jace knew that Clary would love them. He just hoped Clary would wake up soon.

"Aline, I'd have to say, I wasn't expecting you to come here. But, I think that it was a wonderful choice and it means so much to me and Clary. At the moment, everything isn't exactly…normal, so it's nice to know that people who aren't part of my direct family actually care," Jace said to Aline sincerely and carefully.

Aline smiled, looking at her lap. "I guess…I guess the real reason why I came here was because I didn't want you guys to have to go through this all by yourself. When we, my aunt and I, had discovered that my real cousin, Sebastian, had been murdered, I didn't have anybody to turn to. I wanted to make sure you and Clary did," Aline replied quietly. Jace murmured his thanks, and they both sat in silence, waiting, just waiting. The silence wasn't awkward, since both teens felt comforted by each other's presence.

A man began to walk down the corridor of the hospital wing towards Jace and Aline with a smile on his face. Many possibilities ran through Jace's mind, but a smile was definitely a good sign, right?

Jace jumped up in a matter of seconds, his face transformed by worry, as the doctor loomed nearer.

"How is she?" Jace asked, flustered. Aline had come up behind Jace, standing awkwardly as if she shouldn't be in this moment, like it was private. It kind of was, but she had made the effort to come, so Jace didn't mind all that much.

"Hello Mr. Lightwood, I am Dr. Greshlim. I am pleased to inform you that Clary is improving quickly. She has suffered some major bruising to her brain, which may cause some difficulties when she first awakens, but they are most certainly not permanent," Doctor Greshlim informed Jace in a very calm and casual tone, which almost angered Jace. How could he be so calm about this? But then again, he probably experiences situations like these every day, and probably worse.

"What kind of difficulties?" Jace looked into the man's deep brown eyes, like tree bark with flecks of green leaves. He seemed kind, but Jace was tired, stressed, and scared out of his mind.

"The brain has been shaken up a bit, which means that there may be a delay in her coming back to consciousness, but the main issue we face now is her ability to remember things. Clary has a limited capacity in her thought intake, so she will easily forget things." Jace stared at the man in front of him in horror. His vision swam in and out of focus, and he used the wall beside him to steady himself. Jace felt a reassuring weight on his shoulder, and turned to see Aline looking sympathetically at him.

"Anything else?" Jace asked, his voice straining to hide his disappointment and anger. He knew he shouldn't be angry at the doctor, but he couldn't help it. His wife was lying unconscious in a bed with only a short term memory! That was not fine, not fine at all. He didn't give a shit that it was temporary – Jace could only scream in his head, "FIX IT NOW!"

"The only other thing that has impacted Clary severely is her ability to be rational. This is extreme, since she cannot tell the difference between what should and shouldn't be said. She will become very blunt, and this may be quite a liability."

"Oh, that's fine, I'm used to the bluntness," Jace whispered hoarsely, trying to make light of the situation. He attempted to laugh, but it came out as a frightened choke that stuck in his throat.

"I will check in with her in about another two hours. She will have to stay in intensive care for another two weeks or so. After that, she may need rehabilitation, but that shouldn't be likely if she rests in this period of time." After Jace said his thanks, Doctor Greshlim turned and walked down the corridor. Jace glanced back to see Aline sitting patiently. She gave him a slight nod, and that spurred Jace to nearly run to the room H09 with a small sign on the door, reading "Mrs. Lightwood".

Before Jace walked in, he beckoned for Aline to come. She smiled, glad to be invited, and quickly rushed to the door. Jace took a deep breath, and turned the doorknob.

**-Impulses-**

Her pale face was surrounded by the beautiful fiery curls that Jace loved so much, and her eyelids were closed peacefully, tugging at Jace's heart. The most heart-wrenching thing about the scene was the tubes plunged in Clary's arm, hooked up to numerous machines measuring all sorts of medical crap that Jace couldn't have cared less about. A white patch covered his wife's forehead and small, yet numerous, cuts marred her ashen cheeks.

It was so devastating that Jace didn't know how he was still standing. He was extremely grateful that he had Aline behind him to support him through this. It was all he could ask for. The bed Clary was in looked extremely uncomfortable, the steely metal bars emphasizing her condition. A mint rug was placed neatly on the end where a plastic check chart sat. The walls were a plain white colour, draining the already somber room of any happiness it could have had. It was such a sterile room that Jace felt like he should have been wearing scrubs rather than jeans and a t–shirt.

He walked closer to her and sat in the scratchy chair beside Clary's bed and took her hand in his own. Her skin was cold, so cold it was heartbreaking. Her face was unfamiliar, not the usual porcelain tinged with a slight blush. Pale and ghastly, she was set as stone, unmoving except for her shallow breaths. It was hard for Jace to sit there and watch, not being able to help or do anything at all. They'd endured so much – getting attacked at their marriage reception, her mother being brain dead, her unconscious…

"I'm so sorry," Aline whispered behind him as she placed Clary's flowers in a small. They smelled beautiful and were such a lovely color. Jace didn't reply. He knew that if he opened his mouth he wouldn't be able to control his emotions and it seemed like Aline didn't mind the silence. She obviously knew Jace was hurting. Badly.

Jace just sat there, staring at Clary. Aline was tidying up, making room on a bench for flowers and any other gifts that may come. She was trying hard to not be too intrusive, so after about ten minutes, she said, "Do you want some time alone Jace?" Her voice was full of kindness; this wasn't the Aline Jace normally knew, but he was aware that she was only trying to help.

"Thank you, Aline, for everything."

She just nodded sweetly and walked out of the room, clicking the door softly behind her. It was just Jace and Clary, alone, finally. She was so beautiful, so perfect. How could she not see it? He loved her, without a doubt, and seeing her here in pain caused him more agony than any other physical injury. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the doctor come in from behind.

"She's looking very healthy at the moment, Mr. Lightwood," Dr. Greshlim said quietly, hoping not to startle Jace.

"That's good. How long until she wakes up?"

"We have no idea. Her bruised brain will make it hard to put a deadline on it."

"Okay," Jace replied, disappointment roughening his voice.

"I'll be out near the reception if you need me. If you can't find me, just ask the receptionist." Dr. Greshlim walked out of the room. It was just Jace and Clary, again.

**-Impulses-**

Five hours had passed and Jace still hadn't moved from his chair. Isabelle and Alec had visited and brought balloons, chocolates, flowers, cards, and five massive teddy bears. Why they bought all that stuff, Jace could not understand. But, it showed how much they loved Clary, which was really great. Luke had come in for a couple of minutes with his own gifts, but got a call from Magnus almost straight after about Jocelyn. It seemed like the Fairchilds and Lightwoods just could not get a break from all this chaos. Simon was visiting Clary at the moment, standing on the opposite side of her bed from Jace. He was just simply looking at his best friend and the girl he had loved once. She was lying before him, motionless except for her chest rising and falling achingly slowly.

The two men didn't speak once. It wasn't because there was tension or dislike between them; it was more because there was no need for speech. They both just wanted to be with Clary and make sure that she was okay. All Jace wanted was to see those forest green eyes staring back at him. He was dying for her to wake up. The machines continued to beep and flash, but Jace did not tear his eyes away from Clary's face. He was afraid that if she woke up, he would miss it. So, for five hours straight, Jace just stared at his wife's face longingly.

And then it happened.

Two glittering emeralds flickered open.

**So!**

**Tell me what you guys think! This one doesn't have as much action but I wanted it to show Jace's side and his feelings in regard to his world literally falling apart. **

**If you haven't read the Author's note please do, it is important to me.**

**Okay so I do hope you enjoyed it and that it was well written cause I really worked hard on this, had to re-write it twice to get it the way I wanted it.**

**Um… another 10 reviews before next update? Is that okay? I hope so ;D**

**I also just want to say that I am sorry it took so long to update, I just connected with my beta and I got some help but there was an issue with emails so it took a bit longer. I'm new to the beta thing so I'm just getting used to it so this chapter was updated a bit later and the next chapter (which I am sorry I haven't even started writing… but you know… I might write faster with… reviews?) will take a bit longer to. I'm sorry for the wait, please bear with me… I'm trying hard.**

**School for me starts soon and that will cause a major delay as well in updating, I am SO sorry **

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	15. Hide and Seek

**Hello readers,**

**I am sorry for the late update, struggling to get these chapters out so I do apologise for it. Here it is for you though! I want to thank everybody who has reviewed, added this as a story alert/favourite! Thankyou! Also if you added me as a favourite/alert author! It means so much to me.**

**It may be longer between updates, not because of you or anything promise! It's more because I do have school (and I'm trying to do really well this term) but also the beta-ing process is longer than if I just updated straight away, but if I use a beta, it means I produce a better quality story which I think you all deserve.**

**Here you go lovelies!**

_**Impulses chapter 14: Hide and Seek**_

Those glittering gems stared uninterestedly back at Jace's own golden globes. A bored look crossed her face – definitely not what Jace was expecting. He thought she would be scared, or worried, or…well definitely not bored. She just stared at him with those unmoving, shocking eyes. Both Jace and Clary's bodies were as still as cold stone. But Jace didn't feel cold, in fact, far from it. He just felt so glad and relieved and every other positive emotion because Clary was alright, and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Clary," Jace whispered quietly, his hand intertwining with hers, just the way he loved to. However, all that warmth and happiness suddenly drained from him when he felt his wife's hand rip away from his own. Jace's insides turned to ice as he stared at where their hands were connected only moments ago, to her face, now painted with disgust and anger.

"Don't touch me," she spat viciously, venom dripping from her words. Jace began to feel dizzy. What the hell was happening? What had he done wrong?

He felt steel bars push against his chest, sending him flying back from the hospital bed and smashing him against the floor. The fiery Shadowhunter was sitting up casually in her bed, any evidence of her sudden outburst gone. He could see the IV drips straining against her arm, pulling against her skin. Clary didn't show any pain, however, just disinterest. She looked around slowly at her room before landing her eyes on Jace again.

"What are you doing here?" she shot at him. Anger dominated her voice, but her eyes were still sparkling and her face still blank.

"I – I'm…I'm here for you Clary," Jace stuttered. This was a new experience for him – he'd never been scared of Clary, even when he knew that she was dangerous and powerful, but here he was, sprawled on the floor, stuttering to his own wife.

"I don't want you here," Clary whispered scathingly as she turned and yanked the tubes out of her arm, getting up from her bed. Blood dripped down her arm from where the drips were seconds ago, but she continued to show little emotion other than anger.

"Clary, you need to lie down." Jace got up quickly and walked over to where Clary was. He attempted to carry her, but before he even touched her, Clary pushed hard against him. But, Jace was prepared this time and was able to stand his ground. Clary huffed in annoyance and glared at him, a scowl on her face.

"Don't ever tell me what to do," she muttered viciously, pushing aggressively past him and walking down the corridor towards the door. Jace just stood in the doorway watching her leave, as if his legs were glued to the ground. He wanted to chase after her so, so desperately, but something in him prevented him from moving even the slightest bit.

Jace caught the sight of two mundane nurses trying to hold Clary back from the door, however they could not match the strength of a Shadowhunter's and were soon flung against the floor, not dissimilar to what she had done to Jace. Within seconds, Clary was out of the door and walking towards the car park. Something clicked in Jace and his legs jolted him forward, causing him to sprint after her. He didn't know what he was doing, but his body decided to run after her, and run he did.

-Impulses-

"Iz, you gotta come! I can't keep her pinned down forever!" Jace shouted into his mobile. Clary was squirming under him as he tried his best to keep her down on the sidewalk. Passer-by stared and a couple of them whispered, but he knew that none of them would try to stop him. Mundanes only care about themselves.

"I'm coming! Where are you?" Isabelle's worried voice replied.

"Second Street!" Jace yelled back to her, trying to hold Clary down without hurting her. She had already bit into his arm (which still stung like crazy) and blood was dripping down to his elbow. Jace didn't take notice since he was focusing on his task of keeping Clary under control.

"Kay, be there in five!" Isabelle told Jace. Five minutes… Angel, he didn't know if he could last even that long.

"Clary, please stop! Please!" Jace tried to reason with her by attempting to pull her up with him so that they were both standing. He wrapped his strong arms around Clary and secured her tightly. Clary may be strong, but she was no match for Jace.

"Get off me!" she screamed at him loudly, thrashing about. Jace's shirt was smeared with blood from Clary's arm repeatedly whacking him. Whacking Jace had little effect, but Clary didn't give up. Jace just held her as she thrashed around, trying to free herself from Jace's grip.

It seemed like hours before Jace saw Isabelle running to his aid, knocking mundanes left and right.

"What the hell is going on?" she yelled urgently as she came up to where Clary was punching Jace in the gut.

"I have no idea, but we gotta get her to Magnus now!" Jace replied.

"Why didn't you put a silencing rune on her, Jace?" Isabelle shouted.

"Well, it wasn't like I had the time to grab my stele when my wife was collapsing on a road, now did I?" he shot back angrily. Jace knew he shouldn't be angry at Isabelle. After all, it wasn't her fault. In fact, without her, he'd be in a lot more trouble than this.

"I'll do it," she muttered, frustrated. She drew the intricate design on Clary's arm while Jace held it still. As soon as Isabelle was done, Clary stopped attacking Jace and slumped against him. He picked her up in his arms – bridal style – as he ran towards Magnus' apartment with Isabelle beside him.

He just prayed that Magnus could help him somehow.

-Impulses-

"I'm telling you, this girl is a legend," Magnus whispered as his fingers pressed slightly on Clary's forehead. She was unconscious and was resting on Magnus' dining room table, which Magnus wasn't particularly happy about. Smoky ultramarine tendrils were making their way from the warlock's ring covered fingers to Clary's head.

"And why…?" Jace asked, slightly annoyed that Magnus was finding so much enjoyment in Clary's outburst on the street. Isabelle had taken no time in recounting the story to Magnus.

"She is just completely badass without even knowing it!" Magnus exclaimed back to Jace, stepping away from Clary slightly. "I've fixed the wounds on her arm for you and she should wake up in a couple of minutes."

Magnus quickly exited the room, knocking his shoulder against the door frame in the process. There was definitely something going on with him. One moment he was joking about Clary, the next he walks out as fast as he could. Jace had too much on his mind at that moment to take much notice of the warlock's actions. He hesitantly reached for Clary's hand. Considering what had happened last time, he wasn't sure where her head would be at when she woke up.

But, true to Magnus' word, his beautiful wife woke up within minutes of Magnus' departure – much to Jace's relief. She was awake and Magnus had done…something to her (Jace didn't know what), so he should tread carefully around his short Shadowhunter even though it pained him to do so. He just didn't know how stable or how rational she was at the present time. The doctor had said something about not being able to make rational decisions and short term memory loss, so Jace had to make sure Clary had no opportunity to actually make an irrational decision.

"C-Clary?" Jace whispered quietly, looking at her calm face. Her eyes darted around, still lost in the world, before they found those familiar golden eyes tainted with caution and worry. She breathed in deeply before smiling sheepishly.

"Jace?" she laughed a bit to herself. "You've got blood all in your hair!" Clary burst into uncontrollable laughter that vibrated and shook her whole body. It seemed that during in process of holding Clary down, she'd smeared her own blood into his perfect hair. Super.

"Sure do baby," he replied, smiling back at her. His heart thawed, as he had his Clary back. His beautiful, stubborn, short, talented, dangerous Clary.

-Impulses-

"Jace!" Clary yelled loudly, her voice ringing throughout Magnus' apartment. She wasn't allowed to get out of the apartment because Magnus had to talk to Dr. Greshlim about the whole scenario with Clary running away. Obviously the doctor had come back to check on his patient and realized she was no longer there.

"JACE!" Clary screamed again down the halls. She ran down each corridor and into each room to find Jace. From the outside, Magnus' apartment looked pretty average, but on the inside it was the size of an estate mansion from the 1800's. Magus had obviously magically altered it. It was Jace's job to occupy Clary, not that he minded anyways. He'd figured out that Clary knows who he is and that they are married, but up until the wedding, she has no memory. Apparently they just got married yesterday. The golden haired Shadowhunter hid behind one of the couches in one of Magnus' numerous sitting rooms, waiting for Clary to find him. He heard his name being screeched throughout the apartment and patiently waited for his wife to find him. The oak doors to the room burst open and Jace could only just hear her faint pacing footsteps.

"Jace?" she asked, a bit quieter now that she knew he was in there. Jace looked under the lounge to see her legs pointing away from him; she wasn't facing him! This was his chance. He jumped up as silently as possible and clamped onto her, his arms winding around her waist, his lips pressing against her cheek as a short gasp escaped Clary's mouth.

"Guess you found me," he whispered as Clary giggled at him. "Play again?" he asked, even though he hated hide-and-seek. He knew he had to occupy Clary or else she would get restless and probably start breaking things.

"No," Clary said matter-of-factly to Jace. This surprised him a bit. Clary had always loved this game and wanted to play it again every time she found him.

"Then what to do you want to do, hmm?" Jace replied, hoping to Angel it didn't involve piggy back rides.

"Jace," Clary began. "I want to see my mum."

**Hey guys!**

**Okay, I do hope you liked this chapter, I don't think it was my best but I think it was pretty good!**

**Please review! I really appreciate it guys, makes my day!**

**Just on a side not, if you are going to review with constructive criticism, please don't stay anonymous! Please use your account because I like to discuss how I can improve with the person who reviewed, I can't do that if you do not use your account name when reviewing. Also, when you stay anonymous and say something rude it just says to me that your not willing to talk with me about it and you can't even use your account! So to all of you who DO use your account to review, thankyou! It makes the process so much easier on me! Xx**

**Anyways, tell me what you thought of it, what you think will happen, favourite bits, whatever you want! Xx guys.**

**Love you all,**

**Green-doves**


	16. Changing Tactics

**Authors Note:**

**There's a big long one down the bottom for you all. I'm back hi hello how are you I'm sorry… I hope you enjoy this chapter, review if you like it and **_**thankyou **_**everyone for sticking with the story while I sorted out some major badness in my life! You're all wonderful and thankyou thankyou thankyou!**

_**Chapter 15: Changing Tactics**_

The dull rumble of the accelerated kept any awkward silences at bay which Jace was thanking Angel a million times over for as he sat, fingers gripping the parked car's wheel tightly staring at the windscreen that was slowly fogging up from he heater. The car was completely stationary but continued to vibrate only slightly as Jace kept his foot firmly on the break, he liked giving her options… especially when her unpredictability made the situation, and any situation a little more complicated than usual. It seemed major bruising to the brain had given his feisty red headed wife a little extra kick in the sass department. She was simply just a little more difficult to… control than usual, but nothing Jace couldn't handle being a vicious demon killer and all.

He released on of his hands from the now wheel, sticky with his sweat to rake through his tangled and tousled golden hair that framed his face with perfectly messy curls that Clary had always adored. He didn't see the appeal of bed hair but apparently it drove the ladies wild, the only lady he wanted going wild was his Clary but he chanted to himself to next time be careful what he wished for, considering his wife had turned out a little bit wild with the news of her mother's condition.. it wasn't the wild he had desired, but he loved her nonetheless. Tapping his cramping finger on the top of the car wheel he reached for the radio volume knob with his other hand, seeking to increase the sound of the calm collection of acoustic guitar and soft male voice that repeated _kiss me, like you wanna be loved…_trying to create a little less tension in the space.

"Don't"

His hand recoiled back slowly and found their place back on the wheel tip tapping nervously again.

His tiny wife sat in the passenger seat completely rigid and unmoving. Her gaze hadn't wavered from the house they were parked in front of for a single second since they'd pulled up. He arms satby her side, folding mechanically almost like a doll Maryse would have bought Isabelle when she was younger and less interested in stabbing and slaughtering demons. Her normally frizzy hair was straightened looking for like the flaming twin to Izzy's sleek long hair, Jace had never realised how long Clary's hair was until she'd straightened it. She'd pulled the cascading hair into a tight ponytail on the top of her head and laced it with little braids and plaits throughout the ponytail. The warmth enclosed within the car meant that she had no need for her small black cardigan, leaving her in nothing but her denim shorts and her plain white swing top which Jace wasn't complaining about, it was a simple outfit that certainly complemented her figure.

It almost seemed as if she wasn't even breathing, Jace could only see the slight rise and fall of her chest that relieved him of the nerves that rose at the idea of her not breathing. Shadowhunters trained to hold their breath for a longer period of time than mundanes, but of course, not for eternity, which is how long it felt they'd been sitting in the car. She was completely cold, a complete contrast to her playful nature she displayed during their spontaneous hide and seek game from earlier. The night was definitely setting a chill throughout the neighbourhood they were in, and the full moon was shining in the sky, illuminating up the road with a white, eerie light. Jace's eyes scanned the dashboard for the clock, catching sight of the numbers 7:34, so it hadn't been the eternity it felt, it'd been half an hour.

"Babe…"

Clary seemed to either completely ignore him or not have heard him and instead of responding, swivelled quickly, robotically and swung her door open, Jace hearing the click of the handle as she stepped out onto the icy road. The slam of the door was enough of a reply to alert Jace that the moment he'd been dreading had now arrived. Now, he had to take Clary to see her 'Brain dead mother'. Perfect.

**-Impulses-**

Jace trailed his wife as she stood in the small canopy of the little shack of a house that Luke and her mother lived behind. This was the entrance to the house of course, but it was also the entrance to the bookshop that Luke owned, the little cottage sitting behind it, hidden from view.. She'd rung the doorbell, but Jace knew that it'd take awhile for it to register back at the small house that lay behind the creepily quiet bookshop. The streetlight just to the left of the shop created streaks of unsettling shadows within the bookshop, the little lamp at the register turning into an odd shape of a cloaked unknown figure that loomed up onto the bookshelves, the array of books creating jiggered shapes against the floor boards. Jace stared at the shadows in awe, such simply objects could be turned into the shapes and ideas found in the nightmares of his childhood… minus the continuous scream he always used to hear of a female that echoed throughout his head even after he'd woken up. Luckily the nightmares had stopped when he'd turned fourteen.

He wasn't sure what to do, for a second he considered reaching for his wife's hand but then inspecting her overall stance and facial expression he decided against it. She didn't seem in the mood for anything, especially a comforting hand holding session. He saw Luke walking slowly towards the door and a shocked expression quickly ran across his face when he spotted Clary who leaned against the windows that decorated the sides of the doors. Jace heard the audible clicks as Luke unlocked the door and opened it, the little bell above it ringing to signify their entrance. The werewolf stepped back to allow Clary and Jace to walk in to the cool room that smelt of dust and paper.

"We weren't expecting anyone" Luke said in a monotone voice that didn't reflect his expression which was filled with uncertainty and surprise. He shoved his hands into his tattered jeans pocket, a nervous habit and turned to walk towards the backdoor of the bookshop that lead to the white wooden door that opened into the small little house Luke and Jocelyn had been living in for the past year or so.

"We simply thought we should drop in" Clary answered in a clipped, uninterested tone as she followed Luke into the house. Jace didn't say a word, oddly, he felt out of place in the house as he watched Clary waltz into the living and dining area that was decorated with numerous artworks by Jocelyn and a few by the young girl who had made herself at home, sitting on the sofa.

"I'd love a coffee Luke. How's Mum?" Clarissa asked, and that's when Jace noticed something. A small crack appeared that only he picked up on that was only present for a millisecond or two. Clary's eyes looked down at her lap and her mouth formed a small frown, something he hadn't seen her do since collapsing out the front of Taki's. She wasn't necessarily putting on an act as such, but it was evident that she was more worried about her mother than she let on. Jace wasn't sure if she was trying to hold her emotions together the way Shadowhunters were trained to, or if she was just struggling because of her injury… Jace only hope she recovered soon. But it was obvious, Clary was struggling, and rather than second guessing himself the way he had the whole night, he walked over, sat down directly next to her and picked up her hand. He half expected her to rip it away from him but instead she lowered her head and rested it calmly against his shoulder. He felt her breathe out a sigh of relieve as she closed her eyes and waited for Luke to finish making the coffee she requested

**-Impulses-**

"You straightened your hair" Luke said quietly staring at his hands in his lap, he hadn't made eye contact with Jace or Clary since they'd walked in, which worried Jace. Luke was normally the warm and friendly guy who looked you in the eye as he shook your hand, now he was bobbing his knees like a nervous school boy.

"I wanted a change" was all Clary replied. She sipped at her coffee and winced slightly, the heat burning her tongue.

"Well it looks lovely on yo-" Luke started before being cut off by a sharp reply.

"Oh cut the crap Luke. Where's my mother?" Clary snapped without any variation in her stone cold facial expression or her posture of her body. Jace sucked in a breath, this is what he'd been afraid of, the injury's effects showing through. Luke hadn't been informed of the extent of her injuries and the temporary consequences they had on her personality. He reminded himself to explain everything to him when he got the chance, alone, without Clary.

"Clary I-" Luke croaked, struggling to form the simple words to make up his reply.

"Where is my mother Luke" Clary demanded, this time staring him dead in the eye, her mouth forming a pale thin line. Jace saw that his wife wasn't wavering and was intent on seeing her mother. Which was fair enough, except that both their conditions were far from normal. Clary was irrational and utterly blunt with the occasional rude reply here and there whilst Jocelyn was completely out of it, as in out of it out of it. Two Fairchild's down in one go. Well, Clary was now a Lightwood… but she registered Fairchild as a second middle name, she'd said there was something about that she couldn't let go of.

"She's in her bedroom" Clary rose slowly without saying a word, only nodding at her step father and, putting her coffee down on the circular, dusty coffee table began to walk down the hall that lead to the bedrooms and a bathroom. Jace rose after her, he wanted to stay with her, if not to comfort her than to watch her, and make sure everything would be okay.

Luke didn't move, he just stared at the steamy mug that now sat on his oak coffee table he'd made when Jocelyn first moved into the little cottage. He didn't even flinch when Clary had moved, only stared. The life seemed to be sitting at the back of his eyes, not completely gone, but slowly fading and dwindling as his wife lay in her bed, unmoving, completely still and seemingly lifeless. It was worrying to Jace, Luke was often the life of the family, the positive easy-going rock that held everyone together in a time of crisis, but when it was his life in crisis, it seemed he had lost all motivation to keep a positive outlook.

As Clary walked down the hallway she dragged her fingertips lightly across the faded striped wallpaper, her feet stepping one in front of the other at a steady beat till she stood in front of the door that held her motionless mother. Jace came up quietly behind her and whispered in her ear 'I love you', pulling a small strand of hair behind her ear. And at that, Clary wrapped her delicate hand around the bonze door knob, turning it to he left till you heard it click open.

**-Impulses-**

The trip to see Jocelyn was not necessarily a fail, but rather pointless. Clary had sat by her mother's side just staring, her face showed no emotion, but Jace knew she was masking it, and masking it well. She'd sat by her holding her hand that was warm only from the machine's pumping her blood for her heart for over an hour. Luke had explained that he wanted Jocelyn at home in case she woke up, but Jace knew he meant in case she didn't make it. He knew Jocelyn would have wanted to be at home, not leaving her loved ones in an artificial and sterile hospital surrounded by masked figures who were strangers to her. So Luke and arranged for all the machines and drugs and everything else to help her to be set up in the spare bedroom for Jocelyn, the cost of thus was high, but Maryse didn't hesitate to pitch in, after all this was her daughter in law's mother. Jace stood by the door the entire time, not saying a word, just thinking and watching, almost waiting for Clary to snap, but she didn't. Luke never entered, and when Clary rose quietly and walked out of the cottage, Jace saw that Luke hadn't moved from his position when he'd given Clary the drink, except perhaps to put the now missing mug in the sink to be washed.

He had told Clary to wait for him in the car for a few minutes, telling her he needed to help Luke clean up because it was obvious by the pile up of plates and dirty glasses on the benches and sitting precariously on top of each other in the sink that Luke wasn't going to do it. He evidently wasn't coping. Clary just nodded, and that's when Jace saw a flicker of emotion, sadness tainting her emerald green eyes. As he scrubbed Jace had explained to Luke about the reasons for Clary's behaviour and warned him for future encounters until the doctors had confirmed her injuries were gone and so were the effects. Luke said nothing, just nodded and smiled occasionaly, forcefully, but it was still a smile that held the familiar trickle of warmth Jace had come to recognise.

Clary know was lying with her head against Jace's chest in his bed, breathing slowly in and out, her heat beating steadily against his body. He could feel her naked, flawless body pressed up against his as she slept, their legs tangled together delicately, keeping each other warm through the chilling night. Jace sighed slightly thinking about the beautiful girl he held lovingly in his arms and wondered when things would all go back to normal. But then he mentally slapped himself, as if anything had ever been normal. There was something but the whole situation that didn't seem right, seemed off. Jocelyn being hunted down and attacked, and the attack occurring at the reception… was that just a cruel coincidence, a sick joke the universe was playing? Or was it more than that? Jace tried not to believe in coincidence… but when it concerned his mother in law, he wanted to believe in it whole heartedly. And the Clary fainting at the news of her mother's condition. Heartbreaking as it was, Clarissa didn't faint and he knew it, she was brave and strong and perhaps she just cracked, but it was so unlike her, that it confused Jace. He thought about the change he'd seen in her… it was such an odd occurrence, was her personality shift really caused by the injuries? His mind was playing games with him, making him paranoid.

"Babe… you're not breathing" he heard a sleepy voice slur. Clary wasn't a heavy sleeper, and woke up at absolutely anything, including apparently the lack of breathing that her husband was doing. She turned her head to face him, looking into her eyes Jace saw the part of her that weakened him (or strengthened him in the end really) and made him fall for her, crack, let her in. Her eyes, her astonishingly green eyes.

"I'm sorry Doll, go back to sleep"

"I'm not tired" She replied a bit more energetically. She shuffled around, until she was seated on top of him, the doona wrapped around her chest hiding the parts of her Jace continued to lust over. He raised an eyebrow, a gesture that frustrated his little wife as he struggled to recreate the action.

"Not tired?" He asked doubt tinging his voice, he knew that you didn't wake up from sleep and suddenly not be tired, especially at 2 in the morning.

"Nope, what shall we do?" Clary asked, a smirk covering her face as she looked down at Jace's smooth chest, running her soft fingers over the planes of his chest, circling the shapes of past runes and markings that made him who he was. He loved it when she did that, it made him shiver slightly under her touch.

"I'm not sure. Why don't we play a guessing game? You show me and I'll guess" He chuckled when Clary looked at him with a mischievous grin, pulling her fingers up to his lips, tracing them, running over the soft skin then travelling up, reaching his forehead where his honey coloured hair began. Her fingers looped around the curls, pulling and playing with them carefully before gripping at the tightly and pulling his head up to her chest, the doona still in place. Jace breathed her in, the scent of her, the smell of roses and cinamen from her deodorant and her natural smell mixed with the sweat from the body head they were creating. She loosened her drip on his hair, letting him move freely where and when he wanted. His fingers ran up the doona, hugging her body tightly… reaching the very tip that connected with her milky skin.

"Close your eyes" he whispered. Clary's eyes fluttered closed, her long lashes pointing down as Jace kissed her freckles all over her face, moving down her neck to where his fingers were at the top of the doona. He moved down, his fingers pulling the doona down slightly, till he met the are of her body that slowly began to rise, the tops of her breasts and began to kiss the skin there, softly, lovingly, and stopped, not moving the doona down any further for awhile. She told her to keep her eyes closed for a little longer as he let his lips run further down, under the doona, to the part of her breast still hidden by that soft material, kissing and licking the sensitive center of the small plump mounds that formed on her chest. A small moan escaped her lips, which Jace took as encouragement, and letting the doona drop to reveal Clary's full upper body for his sight he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her further up still sitting on his chest. As he did so Clary gasped slightly , Jace stopping in shock.

"I'm sorry Clary I-" He began but Clary silenced him with a passionate kiss, her tongue exploring every part of his sweet tasting mouth, searching for places she hadn't tasted yet.

"So I turn you on that quickly do I?" she asked with a small grin that meant she was up to something less than innocent, which didn't really bother Jace in the slightest.

Jace answered by rolling her over so he was on top of her, holding his weight above her with his elbow so as not to crush her.

"Jace…" Clary whispered to him with such desire Jace could barely control himself.

"Just tell me when, I'm yours Clary" He replied with such intensity that his eyes seemed to become solid gold rather than their usual liquid consistency. Clary shivered under him, whether from the cold of from what he was offering Jace didn't know, and didn't care. All he saw was what he was doing to her, the effect her had on her, and he knew she did the same to him. He wanted to bring himself as close to her as was humanly possible.

"Now"

**I should write you all a fanfiction called "Green-doves is sorry for being the worst author in the whole entire world and you should all hate her guts but she's sorry". Because I am. In all honesty, the past year has been really hard on me, I've had a lot happen and struggled with a lot of stuff, I was in a bad place and just wasn't up for writing fanfictions to be honest, and it was a long hard year. I'm back, school will be starting soon but I'll try and keep it up. I'm so sorry I hope you don't hate me, my life just got really hard for a bit.**

**I made this chapter extra-long because you all deserved it, everyone who stuck with me, didn't unfavourite and everything… thankyou so so much seriously.**

**I also realised I was like "REVIEW OR ELSE" and I don't like that (look who grew up a bit :P) so no I'm not pushing you to review, yes I'd like some, yes they'd make my day and make me smile **_**but **_**I do want to stress it is your decision of course! So I'm sorry for my pushiness.**

**If you liked this please let me know!**

**Hey everyone look! Green-doves is BACK!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	17. Two Birds, One Stone

**Authors Note:**

**Yes I am back everyone, like truly back which is exciting, one reviewer told me ages ago that the people following my story and favouriting it were like a sort of weird crazy family, and so I'm excited to be back with this beautiful family of readers, writers and reviwers. Hopefully you are still looking forward to the chapters to come, I know I am! I've got everything figured out (me thinks) hehe. I'm going to try and upload three chapters in three days (maybe more…) including yesterdays because school will start soon and that means I will need to focus more and write a little less… but we will see how we go! Here is your chapter lovlies…**

_**Chapter 16: Two birds, One stone**_

She felt her eyes open painfully slowly, like she was ripping years of cobwebs and dust that sealed her eyelids together, keeping her in bitter darkness. She could feel a cool chill brush over her body that sent shivers down her spine, or what she thought should be shivers because her body didn't move, she did not shake from the cold, her body didn't rise and fall with easy breath, she couldn't speak, only her eyes could move. Slowly. Painfully. Adjusting to the darkness around her, she wondered if her eyes will still closed, as her surroundings were almost identical to the blackness she saw when she had no vision. Her head began to pound, throbbing with such ferocity she wondered if he brain would simply burst, it was paralysing pain. She wanted to sit up but she didn't, she couldn't, her bones and muscles wouldn't work together to force her up, she remained lying, motionless in the darkness. Her palms faced down onto the surface she was lying on, she felt the cool, cold cement beneath her and wondered where she was. She didn't feel safe or at home, it couldn't be somewhere she knew… she felt lost. An eerie thought came to her, perhaps she was wondering in her own mind, a hallucination or some sort? Impossible, but she wondered.

Perhaps she was in the morgue at the hospital… she hadn't died had she? She couldn't of, her eyes were open wide now, searching around the blackness for something she recognised. But there was nothing. The raspy voice inside her head, reflecting the exhaustion she felt told her it wasn't possible for her to be dead, she was seeing around her, her eyes moved, that was all but her eyes moved. She thankfully ruled out the possibility of death. She'd had no idea how long she'd been lying on the frozen concrete that felt like ice on the skin of her arms and legs, she had no sense of time, it could have been years or hours or even minutes. It could be a dream. Some say that the dream you think lasted you the whole night, only lasted six seconds before you woke up… perhaps this was her dream? Maybe she'd only been lying here uncomfortably for a matter of seconds. Anything seemed possible to her… even the prospect of being dead seemed like there was a slim chance it was real, but she tried to reason with herself.

She decided she had to move, she couldn't stay here like a vegetable and do absolutely nothing at all, she had to try. Move a hand, bring her knee up, raise her head… anything to show her she wasn't completely useless. She willed her hand move up to her chest, she begged it to pulling it in her mind with so much force, the pounding in her head became unbearable. And yet, her hand lay exactly where it had when she woke up. She suddenly felt very alone. Unable to reach for a weapon and without even being able to check if she had a weapon with her was deeply unsettling. She was defenceless, she could have had all the seraph blades and swords in her pockets if she'd wanted, but if she couldn't move someone could glide their own blade across her neck in an instant and she could do nothing about it. She began to feel something she'd been trained to supress, she felt it bubbling like a witch's potion in fairytales within her stomach, making her nervous and unsure of herself. She started to become afraid. Fear pulsating throughout her small, slim body driving her crazy. Her mind brought forth all the possible worst outcomes there could be for her situation, being slaughtered by demons who had imprisoned her, being stuck here forever never seeing her daughter or husband again, being poisoned slowly, taking years to kill her… everything came rushing to her until she felt something she thought impossible. A small tear trickled down her cheek, she could feel it. The only part moving except her eyes. She felt the tear slowly travel down the creases of her nose down onto her cheek and then burning very suddenly. At first she was confused, why was it burning? What was going on? She wondered but then it came to her, tears are salty like salt water. If the tear had travelled into a cut or graze on her face, burn it would. More questions arose amidst the previous where am I and what will happen, questions that created more fear inside her than ever before. Why did she have injuries?

She was defenceless and alone and cold without any help or ability to move, Jocelyn was afraid.

**-Impulses-**

Clary stood, staring at the punching bag in front of her, her indents in the bag slowly evening out as her body heaved with her heavy breaths. Her hands shook in fists by her side as she felt the anger inside her bubbling to the top, knowing when she exploded she would need to release it on this bag on not something or someone else. So she stood, staring intently at the bag, waiting for it to become new again, waiting for her anger to build, her whole body began to shake except her legs, holding her in steady stance that gave her the maximum amount of balance and control. She felt her chest rise and fall with such force she knew she was pushing her body to its extreme, sweat dribbling down her face and dripping to the floor from her chin. Her sports top and leggings were drenched from her workout and her knuckles ached and were slowly swelling up but she didn't care, it didn't matter to her. She was angry, angry at the world, angry at every single person who tried to touch her and console her. She was simply angry, and pain wasn't a factor in her consideration to stop.

Finally, the punching bag was ready as was she, and she threw herself at it without a second thought screaming at it as her fists connected with the stiff material in front of her. She jabbed, punched and kicked it constantly, not stopping for a single second to take a break; all she wanted was to destroy something. And if it wasn't the punching bag, she'd settle on herself. She let out another ear piercing scream as she ran at the punching bag with more force than before, leaping and twirling her body around to smash her foot into the top of the bag, where the chains held it to the beam above. The chains cracked slightly and then disintegrated, the punching bag falling down to the ground, the broken chain smacking against her foot, leaving a red imprint. Clary didn't flinch at the burning pain that radiated up her foot, she simply stared at the mess she'd made on the floor and then walked towards the training room exit.

As her hand connected with the door knob and she began to open the door she felt an overwhelming pain shoot all through her head, like a migraine she'd never experienced before in her life. Her hands rushes to grab her head as her knees wobbled and sunk to the floor. She screamed as her head began to pound, the pain was so severe her body began to tingle and the room shook around her slightly. She couldn't hear anything around her just the deafening ringing inside her head. Her hands grasped at her head trying to silence the pain that was bringing tears to Clary's eyes, as she shook on the training room floor. She let out another scream again but she couldn't hear it, only felt her mouth widen and then close after a few seconds. She collapsed further onto the floor, crawling up into a foetal position and rocking backwards and forwards like a child who'd lost their mother. She kept rocking and the tears continued to dampen the training room's mats that she was laying on, her hands never left the sides of her head.

Then silence, the pain became a low buzz, but Clary couldn't move from her position, she felt like her body had been turned into a statue by the headache. And then she heard it, not a yelling or screeching voice, not a voice for everyone to hear, but the chilling calmness that spoke only inside her head.

_Those you cannot kill, you must paralyse._

The voice sounded so familiar, like something she'd heard almost everyday of her life, but she couldn't put her finger on it or remember who was speaking to her. It certainly wasn't one of the Silent Brothers. Rather than hearing a multitude of shapes and soundes within her head that made up the words, she could hear the breath of the person speaking to her, and the way their tongue clicked on the T of cannot… this wasn't the work of one of the Brothers. But she didn't know who it was, even more chilling was the message she'd been delivered… Those you cannot kill, you must paralyse. What did that mean? Maybe her mind was playing tricks with her, maybe her concussion had gotten worse and she was imagining things who knew, but she needed to find Jace and figured everything out. As soon as she'd made the decision to go find him, the unbearable pain began to shake her whole body all over again.

**-Impulses-**

"Please try it okay? I's really not that bad!" Isabelle whined at her adoptive brother who was sitting on a bar stool staring at her with an incredulous look on his face as she waved a plate at him. All he could see was a mush off what he thought was supposed to be scrambled eggs but god knows she'd put something else in there to 'spice it up' a bit and that's never good coming from Iz.

"Iz, I'm not eating that okay? What'd you put in it?" He questioned her, he wasn't going to eat anything she cooked unless he'd watched her prepare and cook the meal as well as knowing exactly what had gone into it. Just to keep himself safe. Her cooking wasn't terrible, but with a mother who had spent little to no time with her children as they were growing up and was too busy running the Institute, Isabelle had to teach herself the ways of a cook. Maryse's absence as a mother in the Lightwood's younger years became more and more obvious as they grew up. Both the raven haired children had a minimal relationship with their mother, and had more of a mutual respect for her, and both children were often left to fend for themselves, teaching themselves how to study and train for upcoming exams when most parents would guide their children. Jace was a bit different, as a child he'd refused to see Maryse as anything but the head of the Institute and it was only in his later years that he saw her more of a motherly figure in his life, but that was the extent of it. There was love between the three children for their mother, but it was minimal and more a business situation. The head of the Institute couldn't have children who ignored her, it'd look back.

"It's just eggs, you love them! I've made them for you before for Angel's sake! Why won't you trust me?' She moaned back at him. She clearly really wanted him to eat it. So Jace gave up and grabbed the plate setting in front of him with a knife and fork, looking suspiciously at the food. As he scooped some eggs onto his fork he heard Isabelle whisper "what was that" and he put the fork down to listen. For a while he heard nothing, and was about to return to his odd looking eggs when he heard a blood curdling scream that he recognised instantly. Before Isabelle could count to three Jace was sprinting down the halls of the Institute and running to the training room. They heard a second scream and Jace push himself to run even faster. 'What was happening?" he thought to himself, an edge of uncertainty tainting his thoughts. Then there was silence again, as if nothing had ever happened, Jace was nearing the training room's entrance when he heard the sound that shattered his bones. A final scream from his wife, who he found curled up and shaking on the training mat.

He froze for only a second, distraught at what he was seeing, his brain screamed at him to grab her but he second guessed himself. Was she injured? Would touching her make it worse? Was it more side effects from her fall? Was she okay? Then before he realised what he was doing, his strong, capable arms cradled his shaking wife against his chest as he ran to the infirmary to find her a bed. As he crashed the infirmary door open, Clary let out a short screech that echoed in Jace's ears. He placed her carefully underneath the white sheets of a hospital bed and tried to hold her still as she shook violently under his grip, he had to calm her down. This shaking was dangerous for her, especially if she was recovering from a concussion. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her lips curled an obvious sign that she was experiencing immense pain which made Jace's entire insides ache. Seeing the one you loved hurting this way was almost impossible to bear.

**-Impulses-**

Isabelle stayed a bit behind Jace, not wanting to encroach but she also wanted to see what the hell was happening to Clary, she was her sister in law after all. All she could see was Jace trying to hold her down, trying to stop her uncontrollable shaking. He was attempting to coax her out of the state she was in which Isabelle guess was a lot harder than it looked with Clary's occasional outbursts and constant screams that sounded like they filled up the whole Institute. It was a devastating sight to see, and Isabelle couldn't understand why the two people in front of her who she cared so much about continued to be hit with problem after problem and hurt after hurt. It just never seemed to end for them and it wasn't fair and Izzy knew it. She knew it wasn't fair and it frustrated her to no end, she wanted them to be happy and every time they were they were shattered with something new to deal with. She was constantly astonished by their fight, the way they both stood up and got on with it, never giving up and always fighting for each other, the ones they loved and what they believed in.

Jace was clearly struggling, not just with holding Clary down, but with watching her face plastered with pain, and Isabelle could tell so she came up on Jace's opposite side to help hold her sister in law down. Jace was whispering 'Shhh baby' over and over so Isabelle focused on keeping her shakes at bay. Within a few seconds of this, Clary's eyes grew wide, her beautiful emerald pupils, huge disks that bore into Jace's own gold eyes and then she gasped before falling limp in the bed. Isabelle wondered when it would end.

-Impulses-

"You tell me right now what the hell is going on with her" Jace shouted at one of the Silent Brothers, a finger jabbing the brother in the chest, hard and accusingly. Maryse stood beside her husband Robert who had returned from Idris after hearing the news of Clary and her mother, Alec stood with Magnus at the doorway to the study, Isabelle was behind Jace and oddly Aline Penhallow had also joined the group of Shadowhunters in this meeting.

"I want to know, _right now" _Jace spat through gritted teeth, his arms flexing as he pulled his hands into fists by his side.

"Jace…" Isabelle whispered quietly under her breath so no one could here but her brother, except obviously the Silent Brother would hear as well, "Just cool it okay?" She tried to stay sympathetic but going at the Silent Brothers was going to do more harm than good as far as Isabelle was concerned, and there were powerful allies but more powerful enemies. Jace only growled slightly in response but Isabelle was worried, she had to keep Jace under control, if he lost it they were in trouble.

_Jonathan Herondale-_

"It's Lightwood" Jace hissed, cutting the Brother off.

_Jonathan Herondale, we would like to remind you that though the Brotherhood is the source of much wisdom and knowledge and is often called upon as a source of answers to peculiar situations, we are not the source of all knowledge and we do not have the answers to all of your questions. Mr. Herondale, please take into consideration that perhaps Clarissa Fairchild is-_

"It's Lightwood. Again" Jace corrected, which worried Izzy, he needed to calm down a bit and stay focused on helping his wife, not arguing with the Brother.

_Still suffering the side effects of her concussion and fall that she experienced at the news of her mother's condition which I do believe was the situation that occurred. We would also like to advise that perhaps keeping the young girl under closer scrutiny would be beneficial, to ensure no unusual behaviours arise apart from those predicted, the rashness and blunt nature that she displays. _

"Brother Darkel, I would like to ask, is there any news that you may have on Clarissa's mother? Jocelyn?" Maryse enquired calmly from where she leant against the study desk, "Her attack seemed rather… odd" she added.

_Again, we would like to make sure you understand that we do not have the answers to every situation that occurs. We Brothers are in our few and cannot have eyes and ears everywhere the way we once we able to. We have made the decision to look no further into the attacks on Jocelyn Fairchild, it has been decided that it is not a dire enough occurrence and therefor does not require our expertise. However, we would like to inform you that we do not believe there is anything peculiar about the attack and that Jocelyn Fairchild has simply been… unlucky.  
><em> 

And then the moment Isabelle was trying to avoid occurred before her very eyes. She saw Jace storm up close to Brother Darkel and slam his hand against the Brother's chest, but Brother Darkel did not move or even waver, he simply stood and moved his head hidden under his hood down to stare at Jace, Isabelle only imagined that unsettling sight Jace saw.

"Not dire enough? _Not Dire Enough? _There is a women who has been attacked viciously leaving her completely brain dead leaving her whole family worried sick about her wondering what the _hell _is going on and she isn't important enough to you? What occurances have happened that are considered more important Brother? Being a member of those who run this Insitute we are also informed for your information of occurances that are unusual and need the Brother's assitence and we have had _no_ reports of anything out of the ordinary occurring. Except for Jocelyn's attack… care to tell me what I'm missing? Brother?" Jace slammed his hand against Brother Darkel once again before stepping back and composing himself.

_Mr. Herondale, though your tone of voice and manner is utterly unacceptable we will let it slide under the assumption you are under a great deal of emotional stress. The situation with Jocelyn does not seem to be improving, and the Brother's time is precious, we see little need in wasting it._

Isabelle just stared at the Brother. There were times when Isabelle couldn't understand where the Angel Jace was coming from but on this one, she was by his side all the way. Before Jace could do anymore rude damage to the Brother she stepped forward, her boots clicking against the floorboards and stood directly in the small space between her brother and Brother Darkel.

"Brother Darkel, I would like to remind you that on the odd occasion, the Brotherhood are in fact wrong. Should you be wrong in your decision to no longer investigate the situation with Jocelyn, we will not hesitate to make your mistake and blunder public. It would be a devastating situation for the Silent Brother to have their image tainted now wouldn't it? I would also ask my brother, Jace to just remind you Brother of what Clarissa said to us when she calmed down from her state, which is something I am also requesting you Brothers look into, if you feel like doing your job again. Jace?" Isabelle turned to return to her place slightly behind Jace but closer to him than anyone else.

"Brother Darkel, should someone tell you the words _Those you cannot kill, you must paralyse_ would you feel the need to investigate what this means and who was telling you this? Furthermore do you believe that if this was being spoken to you through your mind that there was something that should be… looked at about the situation?" Jace enquired calmly staring at Brother Darkel, knowing he'd backed him into a corner leaving him with nowhere to go but reply _yes._

"As the head of the Institute we are no longer asking Brother Darkel, we are instructing you to continue your research and investigation into Jocelyn's attacks at the voice and message Clarissa heard only last hour. Should you choose to do your job, all should remain peaceful" Robert spoke up for the first time in the whole meeting, "This is our final decision, and we will not compromise" Robert finished. Isabelle knew that it was extremely rare for any head of an Institute to instruct the Silent Brothers to complete a job that they did not feel necessary, normally the judgement of the Brotherhood was trusted with unwavering loyalty, however in this case it was clear that this group of Shadowhunters were not ready to put the attacks on Jocelyn aside. The situation continued to grow increasingly worrying and odd, and it made Isabelle wonder if the attack on Jocelyn and the effects it was having on Clary weren't all just coincidental but rather they were linked. And this more than anything made her stomach churn with nerves.

**-Impulses-**

"Did it work?" A raspy cold voice scratched from the depths, the tinkling of water dripping cutting the silence and providing some eerie background noise.

"Killing two birds with one stone" A hard male's voice replied, projecting throughout the dark space. "Such a wonderful occurrence"

**Hello :)**

**I hope you liked this chapter, I'm pretty happy with it! Haha Tell me what you think (reviews are quite lovely, yes they are) and tell me what I'm not doing too well that I will try and work on! Look forward to the next chapter which will be up asap with more reviews! Yay!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	18. No Light, No Sight

**Author's Note: Hello lovely readers… it's very good to be back! I hope you have all enjoyed the last two chapters, they went up rather quickly didn't they? I hope you did like them because if you didn't that'd make me sad, if I'm not writing the way I used to and you absolutely hate it, let me know I'll try and fix it for you! Okay onto the next chapter wonderful readers :)**

_**Chapter 17: No light, No sight**_

She knew it was happening before it occurred, kind of how you often know you're about to wake up from a dream a few seconds before you do, she knew she was about to open her eyes. She willed her body not to, to just leave it be and lie still, so that she didn't feel that pain that felt like metal scraping against metal inside her head. It was some sort of torture she'd decided, this unescapable pain that she continued to experience as soon as her eyes opened wide to nothing but bitter blackness. There was nothing for her to see so why did she continue to open her eyes? Jocelyn knew what she would be greeted with, and that was absolutely nothing but the emptiness clouded in darkness that swarmed around her, matching her own feelings. She felt completely empty and hollow, Jocelyn was a Fairchild, she was not one to give up easily it just simply wasn't in her nature. She was stubborn and persistent and she stuck to things she wanted or desired. But there comes a time when, if you simply cannot move a single muscle in your body to do anything but lie completely helpless, eventually reality hits. And that's what had happened to Jocelyn, she realised _there was nothing to do. _She was completely paralysed in this abyss of nothingness.

It was truly damaging to the mind and Jocelyn knew it, she couldn't see anything and couldn't feel anything until her bright green eyes opened to a sight that was no different to when they were closed, and in a second the searing pain shot through her head. Jocelyn begged for the ability to do something, instinctively she wanted to bring her hands to her head as she would have done as a child, but she could not move. She was frozen, time didn't seem to be a factor in this place and she wondered, was anyone looking for her? Anyone? The pain felt like someone had taken a match to her scalp and burnt it slowly, not letting the flame close enough to do the type of damage that would cause her to pass out. But instead, just a constant, piercing pain that never subsided. It got worse as her eyes stayed open, so eventually she would close them again and pray that the pain would leave her, but once she was awake and once her eyes were open she was done for. She was gone. No chance of the pain diminishing, it would build and build and build until… what?

She still hadn't figured out what was happening. All she knew was that one moment she would open her eyes and the pain would strike hard through her, and it would continue until she realised, she was pain free and her eyes were threatening to open again. Did she pass out between these 'sessions' of pain? Or did she disappear from this black hell? She had no idea… she was confused and scared and in a vulnerable situation. She just wanted to be back in the arms of Luke, watching her daughter grow into the beautiful young women she was becoming with her son in law by Clary's side. Throughout everything, sometimes Jocelyn wondered if the name Fairchild held some sort of bad luck, it seemed Valentine had tainted the whole concept of being a Fairchild. It was difficult to watch her daughter grow up and constantly be pushed through every time of hurdle and thrown at every little problem… it was a tough sight to see.

She had to stop thinking so hard, her head was pounding and felt like it was being pulled apart down the middle… she couldn't handle this pain for much longer… but she had no idea how long the pain would last. All she knew was at some point it would end one way or another, but she wouldn't be there to experience it, rather she would be there to experience the few seconds before the pain hit.

**-Impulses-**

The dim glow of the blade that spun around as Jace tossed it occasionally created an unsettling atmosphere amongst the group. The trio of Shadowhunters stalked through the night covered in their black gear that helped conceal them from sight. Originally they would have drawn an invisibility rune on each other's skin to hide them from mundane view, however considering it was a Mundane they were seeking out, they decided it was simply a waste of time. They'd all had plenty of experience when it came to hiding from the view of unwanted onlookers without the runes, this was no different. Jace walked a little behind his two adoptive siblings who were both whispering quietly about Angel knows what, but all Jace wanted was to be alone for a bit. Initially he wanted to embark on this mission himself but Isabelle wouldn't stand for it obviously and Alec was definite about accompanying his _parabati_. So it was the three of them, just like old times, but Jace was seriously on edge about the whole situation. Even though his wife came from the mundane world, he stilled struggled to trust any of them, in general they were just not good at keeping anything quiet. They gossiped and shared "secrets" and were completely unable to understand the concept of secrecy. This was the very reason that Shadowhunters, those protecting these mundane from the grips of demons, had to go about their work in complete secret. The fact that they were turning to a mundane for help was just mind-blowing to Jace, even though the women they were visiting was fully aware of the Shadowhunter world, it didn't change her mundane status.

Jace fell into one of his numerous bad habits, twirling his _seraph_ blade in the air and catching it perfectly with an iron grip around the hilt. Something he'd been told off for numerous times as a child but now no one really bothered him about it, if he cut his hand he cut his hand. He looked around the silent neighbourhood they were travelling through. Small houses with minimal front yards, tattered fences and lawns that hadn't been mowed in years. The graffiti on the pavement was certainly the opposite of what some people called "street Art" and the number of signs warning pedestrians and visitors of a dangerous dog was rather high. This wasn't the area you wanted to be raising your children in. As Jace walked along the dirty, pot-hole filled road her wondered why the woman they were seeking chose to live in such a derelict area, a rather unsafe looking neighbourhood that seemed to be exploding with signs of crime. Perhaps she grew up here or something sentimental like that, Jace wasn't sure.

"Hey, I'd like to get there before sunrise yea?" Isabelle muttered to Jace, falling into step with him matching his legs movements till they were completely in sync. Her raven black hair was tied neatly in a bun on top of her head, it looked rather loose but Jace knew that her hair wasn't going to come out of that bun unless she wanted it to. Her whipped tapped against her thigh as she walked with Jace, and her _seraph _blades were backed neatly into her belt that hung tightly around her waist. "You're distracted" she stated, not asking him, but instructing him that he was.

"No I'm not Iz" Jace replied half-heartedly, normally he was up for a good argument but not tonight. Tonight he just wanted to get the job done and go home to his sick wife who was still lying in bed having periods of unexplainable pain shoot through her head and the same message being repeated to her. He just wanted to be back by her side and holding her hand, but he knew this meeting with this woman was imperative to them learning more about what was happening. They'd instructed the Silent Brothers to continue their investigation, and naturally not wanting a bad reputation they'd reluctantly agreed however the quality and effort the Brotherhood was going to put into this was uncontrollable to the Lightwoods. So it was obvious some private research would have to be undertaken.

"You are. You're very distracted. Now I don't know why but I could hazard a guess no worries. But it's dangerous Jace, you gotta get you head back on this meeting okay? Carla isn't the most… understanding of women" Isabelle whispered to him, he heard the sympathy in her voice. It was very clear that Isabelle was heartbroken for Jace over the situation with his wife and for Luke; however he knew that she was right. He was distracted, all he was thinking about what was happening to the two fiery haired women who both lay in bed, clearly sick from something completely unknown. He was extremely distracted and his mind certainly wasn't on meeting this 'Carla' as Isabelle had called her.

"Got it" he muttered back staring at the ground, "Who is this chick anyway?"

Isabelle laughed quietly, shaking her head slightly, "See now that kind of language is what'll get you in her bad books. She likes a high level of respect Jace, she's one of the few mundanes that is highly regarded amongst the people of our world"

Jace just scoffed "A mundane? She might want to get off her high horse if she wants respect from me, she's a mundane for Angel's sake"

"Jace… I'm serious here she's strong, she'll take you down and bring you to your knees" Isabelle looked at him, he could feel her gaze on his face and the sense of worry she emitted from her body was frightening.

"To my knees? Isabelle, she's a mundane, she couldn't do anything but try and tap me with her fist. We're Shadowhunters; we're made to be stronger than they are. She wouldn't touch me" He replied arrogantly, unwilling to even consider a mundane being stronger than him. It was that he thought they were worthless or weak, Clary could prove that in a heartbeat, but they simply weren't as strong as the Shadowhunters. That's just the way it was.

Isabelle replied quietly, so quiet that even Jace couldn't hear her, "Physical strength isn't the only thing that can make a man's knees buckle".

**-Impulses-**

The three of them turned right down Hark Court and continued walking until they met a dead end, at this point Isabelle got out her diary where she'd written the address of the stranger Carla and looked around for the matching house. It was dark an extremely difficult to see, the night was covering everything with a black blanket that made it impossible to read any house numbers. Alec reached into his pocket and went to pull something out but Isabelle grabbed his arm viciously and held it in its place, not allowing Alec to show the group what he was grabbing.

"No witch lights. That won't go down well with her. We'll have to try and see which house number is what by ourselves" Isabelle let go of Alec's hand and walked up slowly, without making a single sound to a small white bungalow's wooden letter box to try and read the numbers. No matter how close she got to the letterbox, she could see nothing.

"Dammit" she muttered to herself. Isabelle looked around, pondering something with a look of deep thought plastered on her face. There was something rather odd about the whole area they were in, this Hark Court. Isabelle stared at the homes, none of which had lights on even though it was only about eight o'clock at night. She could see basic details of the houses, their shapes, roof colour, size of windows and doors, she could see the outlines of gardens and driveways but she could not for the life of her see the numbers of the houses, or any writing for that matter. It was as if, she knew they were there, stuck to each letter box, but the shadows we so dark over the numbers that there was absolutely no way to see them.

"Hey guys" she called quietly, calling the boys over to her. The rushed over silently to stand by her side.

"Do you guys notice this? We can see almost everything moderately clearly except for the house numbers. Look around, it's the same at every single house, it's completely dark over where the numbers should be" she explained quickly, wondering if either of them could figure out what was going on. It was becoming extremely tense between the three, something was definitely off.

"Yeah and there's no lights" Alec replied, "Not even the street lights are lit" they all looked up to stare at the metal street lights looming over their heads that shed no a drop of light. Isabelle wondered how they were supposed to find the house if they couldn't see any numbers… they could possibly go and knock on each door but it was unlikely they'd do anything but disturb and anger the residents, and what from what she'd heard of Carla, even if they asked if it was her she'd just say no. They had to be sure, absolutely sure they'd found the right house and the right women, or things could get difficult very, very quickly.

"How do we find her then?" Jace asked casually, seemingly not fazed by the obstacle they were facing, his arrogance was a part of who he was… that didn't mean it didn't piss Isabelle off. Her mother Maryse had told them to be wary of Carla if they should attempt to ask her for advice on the Fairchild issue, but these three Shadowhunters had been to the ends of earth together and were ready for anything, but that didn't mean Isabelle wasn't cautious. Cautious just didn't seem to register in Jace's mind, didn't fit in his personality type, non-existent to him, which constantly got them into trouble. Clary had given him more of a sense of cautiousness, but on the whole he was still "invincible" Jace, didn't help that he survived being killed by Valentine either.

"I have no idea" Isabelle replied, almost to herself. Her mind was ticking away, trying to figure out what was going on here, "No lights and most mundane kids would still be up…" for some reason, an idea was on the tip of her tongue but she still was unable to figure it out.

"There's no one in the houses" Jace replied seeming to care little about the whole situation, but inside Isabelle knew that he was as confused as they were and was so filled up with worry over his wife and his mother in law that this careless façade was just that, a mask and nothing more. He was right though, absolutely right. There was no one in these houses, they couldn't see any movement, no lights, no dogs barking down this particular street and even more obvious, the gardens were completely unkept. Weeds grew up the sides of all of the houses, creeping up onto the roof, destroying the gutters and the water pipes, filling them with their leaves and vines… there was no way anyone lived in these houses. So why was Isabelle given this address to find Carla? It made no sense, if there was no one here, and then they were surely in the wrong spot.

"Does that mean we are lost or something Iz? Because I don't think Carla is here" Alec asked a little confused and unsettled by the whole situation, "and if she isn't here, we are completely wasting our time really" Alec was slightly pessimistic about this little adventure, seeing it as completely useless and saw no real reason for it. The fact that there was no sign of anyone, anywhere down this Hark Court only fuelled his argument that seeking out a Mundane is basically a waste of effort.

"Alec, I have the address here, which our mother, the head of the Institute gave me, I doubt she has it wrong. Either Carla isn't here right now, or she's hiding. But I'm telling you this is her address" Isabelle answered confidently, all the Head of Institutes across the globe got their information directly from Idris and their various departments. This address wasn't wrong, they just had to persist a little further.

"Well if there is no one home we might as well just knock on all the doors" Jace put in, obviously starting to take a little more interest in the dilemma they were facing instead of trying to act all big and tough. He still didn't get it, Isabelle and Alec saw right through it, had for years but he kept it up.

"Jace, get focused! Why do you think there isn't a single soul in this street? Something is up, if we go knocking on all the doors we have no idea who or what will answer and what'll happen, we need to be careful. We need to find out which house it is and go there, not take some random guesses and hope for the best" Isabelle stated, she was getting tired of the guessing and wondering, she just wanted to find this damn Carla, find out what she knew and get this thing sorted.

"hmm true" Jace replied, looking around him at the gloomy street, then his face lit up, "Izzy, what's the number of the house you've got written down?" he asked quickly, as if he was running out of time to get the words out.

"Um… 42"

"Okay, so we can't see the numbers because of these thick shadow things that loom over all the numbers and words on the houses right?" the Lightwood siblings all nodded staring intently at Jace with the deep blue eyes, "so who says we can't feel for the numbers?"

**-Impulses-**

Izzy's hand ran over what she thought was the metal shape of a number 4 on an oak wood letterbox that she kneelt up against. Her fingers traced the shape confirming it was the 4 from forty, so slowly moving her hand to not lose her place she travelled slightly right to find the next number, still completely unable to see what she was feeling. When her fingertips hit the next piece of cool, bumpy metal she focused on tracing the metal shape carefully so she was completely sure of the number she thought it was. She felt the metal curve slightly at the top and come around.

"It could be a two, a three, a six, and eight or a nine" She informed the two boys who were standing behind her, watching her every move.

"Gee thanks for narrowing it down" Alec laughed quietly before the seriousness of what was happening came back to him.

"Shut up" she muttered back in reply, but she doubted Alec could actually hear her. Her fingers came down to a point before reaching back over to the right, "this is it"

"It's forty two? You sure?" Jace asked a bit unsure.

"Mmmhmm" was all Isabelle replied and she stood up to stare at the house in front of them, certainly not the house she would have picked for Carla to live in. It was a small brick home, low-lying with a yellow concrete path to the wire door. Weeds had overtaken the garden and ran along every wall, walkway and fence, covering almost every surface on the houses exterior. The fence was a rusted metal wire that criss-crossed to form large diamonds, and the gate that lead to the pathway was falling off its hinges, and left rusted scrape marks on the yellow pavement every time it was open. Still no windows showed and lights to be on and the house was completely silent.

Isabelle was the first one to walk towards the rundown looking house, walking towards the gate but not daring to open it knowing it would create a god awful screech that would have woken up the whole street, if there was anyone here. She put her hand down on the top of the rusted gate and pushed hard to leap over the top of it, landing silently on the yellow path, and slowly began to walk up to the door, the two boys following closely behind. When she reached the door she looked inside to see if there were any lights on further inside the house, but there was nothing, only black. "Should we…" Alec started reaching for the doorbell but he was interrupted by a chirpy "Come in!"

**Ta da! Done!  
><strong> 

**Did you like it? I hope you did! Can I see if I can get 5 reviews? That'd be cool, I'll still update no matter what haha but 5 would be super duper awesome :) Again I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought!**

**Thank you for reading lovelies!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	19. Numbing Memories

**Hello lovely ones!**

**I am back with another chapter for you all. I'm trying to get these chapters up as quickly as possible (whilst still being good quality) because I'm in year 11 so things are really hectic at school and I do have to focus a lot… so I want to give you lots of chapters whilst I can in case I need to take a short break!**

**Also, I'd like to say a huge thankyou to these two lovely reviewers Disney4ever, who has been reviewing consistently on this story before and after my big long break… thankyou so much for staying with me it means the world! Also to TrueGrimm who reviewed one every single chapter even when they didn't need to… that's amazing and thankyou.**

**Now onto the story!**

_**Chapter 18: Numbing Memories**_

Clary stared at the ceiling of her bedroom in the Infirmary… she'd been stuck here for a good two days and cabin fever was already setting in. She just wanted to get up, move around and help the others solve the problems with her mother. She knew that it could simply be her mother had suffered some sort of brain injury and was no brain dead, with no chance of survival but she had to believe there was something else going on here, because that would mean there was a chance Jocelyn would make it… even though logically, her heart was only pumping because of the machines. She just wasn't prepared to think about the prospect of her mother being to… injured to not pull through, all Clary could tell herself was that everything would be okay even if she was lying to herself.

She desperately wanted to be of some use to everyone, help somehow and figure out what on earth was going on but there was a problem with that to. If she moved for too long, for example for a training session her legs would shake and her knees would buckle, sending her to the floor the now familiar needle sharp pain shooting through her head whispering the same sentence over and over again. So she was stuck in this room, staring at the Television displaying the latest episode of Supernatural, which only made her laugh now as she watched the demons and magical creatures enter the screen knowing that the story wasn't far off from true reality. She was just bored, and the boredom meant that she was left with her own thoughts which in turn allowed her to think of every possible situation that may occur. She just had to focus on good, positive thoughts and she'd make it through without any issues.

Another problem she had was, although everyone told her that they were searching for answers to help Jocelyn, she knew in her heart that a lot of what they were doing centred on her, and what was happening to her mind, the things she was hearing and the pain she felt. Clary was fully aware that she was the highest priority, which in brutal honesty made sense considering her mother's state, but that didn't stop the daughterly urges from screaming at her to tell them her mother came first… not that they would listen. Shadowhunters were trained to have no bias when it came to solving problems and investigating odd occurrences, something Clary was only just learning now. It was one of the last things that a Shadowhunter had to learn to do, and one of the hardest. If Clary was faced with her mother and Maryse both being held at knife point with no way to save them both, it was her duty as a Shadowhunter to save the most valuable or more important in the hierarchy person, which would be her mother. At present time, Clary wasn't sure if she would be able to make that decision, she'd past all her academic and physical Shadowhunter exams, but there was no exam to test the strength and will of your mind, but it was obvious Clary wasn't there yet. But then again, it was unlikely most Shadowhunters could follow that rule, she'd seen them break it time and time again especially during the war she'd fought on her first unplanned trip to Idris.

It was all too difficult to think about, she just wanted to sleep and rest and forget about absolutely everything in her life that was going wrong. But she knew as soon as her emerald eyes were hidden from sight and she fell into the depths of sleep, the nightmares would come.

**-Impulses-**

"Iz…" Alec started, his voice shaking slightly as he stood in the cold night at the front door of this stranger Carla, but Isabelle interrupted him sharply.

"Alec, we came here for a reason, we will do what we need to do. Be polite, be respectful, and be kind. Not too much to ask for is it boys?" She replied accusingly, mainly directing her last few words of advice to Jace. Isabelle pulled down on the plastic like handle to the door, letting out a spine chilling screech before pushing the wire door open. She tentatively stepped inside the house, still pitch dark but she smelt the faintest aroma of Jasmine floating throughout Carla's home. She waved quickly at the boys to signal them to come in as well, but she had no idea if they could still see her, luckily they seemed to follow her regardless and as soon as Jace had entered the small brick house the door slammed shut behind them. A few frightening seconds passed the house was brought to life with lights. Isabelle was shocked, there was certainly magic involved but Carla was a mundane, she must be living with some magical being, perhaps a warlock of some sort. She looked around and saw right in front of her was a staircase with a cupboard underneath reminding her of her favourite childhood book Harry Potter; she saw to her right there was a small kitchen with retro 70's style fittings that didn't seem to match the neighbourhood they were in. And to her left was the living room, just out of her view by the arch way that led them into it. She walked slowly, her boots clicking loudly against the hardwood floors before silencing as she entered the living room, and begun walking on the soft, wine coloured carpet.

Carla sat in her chocolate recliner staring at the TV in front of her that displayed the mundane news on it, flicking every few seconds to a news reporter standing outside some crime scene or charity event. She saw a young blonde women standing in the rain out the front of a small house sitting in a beautiful tree-filled street. All Isabelle caught was "match-made in heaven" and then her eyes caught sight of a large, glass tower in the background, only just making it into the camera frame. She sucked in a breath, realising where the women was. This wasn't a mundane news report at all; those were the Towers of Alicante, that blonde women talking joyfully into the microphone was in Idris, the Shadowhunter's home city. She looked completely confused for a second wondering how it could possibly be that a reporter mundane or not was reporting in Idris, on a mundane's television. The other thing that made her brain bend was the fact that there _was no television in Idris. _Especially no broadcasting or Shadowhunter television because of the risk for interception, if the mundane's got hold of anything they'd created, all the secrecy for all the centuries would have been for nothing. It was a safety precaution, but it seemed someone was defying that precaution and very openly at that. She couldn't tear her eyes from the screen as two figures walked up from the house to the camera hand in hand and that's when her mind went dizzy.

A young man with a muscular build and light scars coating his skin walked up to the camera holding the hand of a pale, petite young girl with dark coloured hair, the opposite to the man's golden curls. Isabelle couldn't believe what she was seeing; neither of the boys seemed to have noticed anything. But the people on the television, where Jace and Aline, smiling and holding hands occasionally looking in each other's eyes lovingly. It didn't make sense; Jace looked far older than he was now, like an adult who'd settled down with a beautiful young girl, Aline in a house in Idris. And then she lost all ability to breathe as two children ran up and held onto the adults legs. She heard the interviewer say "Are you proud of Mummy and Daddy?" and both the children nodded vigorously, Jace picking the younger girl up in his arms to sit on his shoulders.

Then the screen flickered slightly and faded to black. "Curious isn't it?" She heard a stony voice, breaking the silence in the room. Jace was leaning against the archway where they entered and Alec stood awkwardly at his side, not really knowing what to do with himself. Isabelle stepped back slightly, away from the television and stared at the woman sitting in the plush chair in front of her. The woman was unbelievable young, considering Isabelle was expecting someone at least in her fifties, but Carla looked no older than 25. Her thin brown hair sat messily around her head, curling at the bottom into a bit of a frizz that sat just on her shoulders, she looked at them staring each one directly in the eyes and then smiled brightly, but there was something about it that left an unsettled feeling in the pit of Isabelle's stomach. Her teeth were beautifully white, Carla would have been a woman Isabelle would have been jealous of when she was younger, but staring at her now she was only confused. Maryse had warned them that Carla wasn't an easy woman to negotiate with and had a long history of being rather difficult, but how could such a young women have a long history of anything. Isabelle was getting tired of the riddles and confusion associated with this place and this women, it was driving her crazy and made her feel slightly sick, she just wanted to go home.

"You know, it's rather rude to ignore people Ms. Lightwood, you'd best be advised to answer someone when you are spoken to" Carla asked with a clipped tone, her hazel green eyes hardening as she stared at the trio of Shadowhunters. More riddles to ponder Isabelle thought, how'd she know my name? She'd stopped caring about all this nonsense; she wanted to be in and out of here as soon as possible.

"I apologize Carla, I didn't realise. It is curious… how can that be?" Isabelle asked carefully choosing her words. Carla's looks didn't deceive Isabelle, she might look young and beautiful but she'd been warned about her.

"Well it's the future my dear" Carla stared at the Lightwoods with an expression of superiority that Isabelle was sure she was savouring. Jace and Alec's heads whipped to look at Isabelle with a bit of a shocked look on their faces, clearly she was right and they hadn't noticed the television. Isabelle opened her mouth to explain but was cut off.

"Oh no Ms. Lightwood, what you see is for your own eyes only" Clara looked at her intently, seriousness deep within her voice as she watched Isabelle's eyes widen slightly.

"Isabelle-"Alec started but a vicious retort flew from Clara's mouth, "Did you completely disregard what I said young one? It was not for your eyes or ears! Nosiness will get you killed Alec Lightwood" Clara spat at him harshly. Alec and Jace sunk back into the wall, their shoulders hunched, Clara's outburst clearly had put them both in their place. All Isabelle could think was, if that was the future, what had happened to Clary?

"You're wondering about the youngest Fairchild are you not?" Clara directed her attention back onto Isabelle and immediately Isabelle knew she was talking about Clary, lying ill in her bed back at the Institute.

"My dear you can change your future if you play your cards right. Much to a lot of ignorant people's dismay, nothing is set in stone" Carla drawled lazily to Isabelle as if this was common knowledge to everyone, how a mundane knew this however was a complete mystery, as was everything involved with this place. Isabelle simply nodded in reply with a small, polite smile and slowly walked a bit closer to Carla, whose petite figure seemed to sink into the couch, her face covered in light shadows by the dim light that sent warm rays across the living room.

"Carla, we've come to ask for your help" Isabelle said very cautiously, she really had no idea how Carla would react or what she would do.

"Oh I know dearest" Carla smiled slightly to herself, not a nice, welcoming smile but more of a menacing and tired smile that whipped across her face and then was hidden all in an instant, "I know everything that you're wondering and everything you need to know" Carla said quietly, her eyes meeting Isabelle's.

"If you know why we are here then please help us" Alec murmured from the corner, stepping forward to stand behind Isabelle so only Jace was left standing in the shadows, not taking part in the whole affair, and Isabelle didn't blame him one bit. She heard Carla scoff, "Because, you come her under the name of the Institute, now why would I help a society that despises my very being? Hmm?" Carla posed the question that Isabelle could not answer, she knew Carla was right but they needed her help, whatever she knew, they needed it and if Maryse had given them her name, she wasn't just a nobody. She was _something_.

They were in a tough position and for a while there was complete silence, everyone standing in the living room standing uneasily whilst Carla sat staring at her black television. She sighed slightly as if the whole situation was to tiring for her, but rather than lying back in her recliner, she stood up and slowly began to walk towards Isabelle, and as soon as she did so Jace walked lighting quickly to face her. Carla only came up to Jace's shoulders, and she had to look up at him but rather than seeming submissive she stared at him with defiant eyes.

"Got something to say?" she asked him with a threatening tone, taunting him, begging him to do something that she could retaliate at. Jace just stared at her, his golden eyes searching her face for some kind of reasoning to tell him why she knew everything she said she did, but he found nothing in her cold expression, only stubbornness, she wasn't going to talk and even if she did there was no real way of knowing if what she was saying was credible or what they were looking for.

"Sit" she instructed before walking back to her seat and sitting down in her previous position, the three Shadowhunter's reluctantly moved and all sat on a small sofa that sat against the other wall of the living room. None of them were relaxed, they all sat with straight postures on the very edge of the sofa, Isabelle noticed Jace and Alec's hands sitting beside their legs, close to their blades which she knew all to well was more than just a coincidence.

"Carla our friend-" Isabelle tried to begin her explanation which she'd carefully rehearsed in her room multiple times before they had left but she was cut off by Carla within a matter of seconds.

"Clarissa Fairchild. You want to know why she hears these voices yes? And the pain in her head? You want answers" The young woman shot in bluntly, her eyes locking on Jace, "Especially you Jonathen Herondale, and that is your name deny it all you will. You want to know why your wife is so seemingly sick, alongside her mother yes." Carla's intense gaze continued to bore through Jace which Isabelle could tell was making her adoptive brother extremely uncomfortable, this woman created an extremely unsettling atmosphere in the living room and made Isabelle want to run out to breathe fresh, no-riddled air. Hey eyes flickered down to the grown quickly and she spoke quietly, almost like she suddenly felt vulnerable.

"First your other questions. No lights in the street because I'm the only one here, it's a distraction for unwanted visitors, people don't like deserted streets, secondly no numbers or words because again I don't want people finding me… only those with true intentions deserve my service but also, I don't read or see. Thirdly I can see the past, present and future children, and that is why I know everything about you" Clara was silent for a moment, before her eyes glided back up to Isabelle who felt even more confused then before, she couldn't see? Was she blind? Then how did she know where they were standing…

"Yes Isabelle Lightwood I am blind. I know what's happening now because I saw it all yesterday" The hazel-eyed mundane sat quietly in her recliner. Her eyes turned to Alec.

"Silent one. Tell me this… situation you find your loved ones in. The future may have changed since I last checked it, and I'm to exhausted to check again"

Alec looked bewildered, normally it was Isabelle or Jace but it was all up to Alec, and Isabelle felt nerves pump through her, her brother was never… the best with words. But what he said next surprised her.

"Jocelyn Fairchild, a family friend was attacked outside of Jace Lightwood and Clarissa Lightwood's reception. She has been unconscious since then, suffered a brain injury that has left her 'brain dead', so machines at the moment are in fact keeping her alive, however the occurrence seems too odd to turn the machines off. Clarissa was then informed of her mother's condition when she was out and fainted from the news which we also think has something suspicious about it, since then she has had bouts of unexplainable pain where she says she hears voices" Alec was stern and focused as her recounted the past days events to Carla, with little to no emotion.

"Familiar. And what do these voices say to her?" Carla replied curiously.

"Those you cannot kill, you must paralyse" Alec informed her quickly and calmly. Alec seemed to be a pro at this… very different from his usual stumbling over words and remembering key information Isabelle thought. The raven-haired girl sat on the couch awaiting Carla's response, and she had to wait for a good few minutes.

"I would listen to the voices" Carla replied dryly before rising and walking to the door, the Shadowhunters didn't move completely confused.

"Come here" Carla called to them and they hurriedly met her out the entrance of the house that was clearly being offered to them as an exit. They all stared at Carla.

"I've given you what you need, go fix the problem, because you all wouldn't like the future I see should things stay the way they are" Carla ushered the trio out of the door, as Alec and Jace trudged back down the yellow path, Carla gripped onto Isabelle's arm and whispered, "What I say is for you only. Should you fail to help the Fairchild's, Clarissa will die within a matter of weeks and you _will _be welcoming Aline into the family" She then released Isabelle, who with shock running through her run up to the boys. With only one thought in her mind.

Clary was dying.

**-Impulses-**

."They've sought out the filthy mundane, Carla, with the future filled eyes" a quiet, croaky voice shot into the darkness, searching for a reply from it's superior.

"No matter, as you said, she is a mundane who has simply be given the sight of future by the High Warlock of New York. Nothing special. Carla has shocked Isabelle into realising Clarissa's situation… her mother is more of a decoy. Everything is going according to plan. When it's time, we strike and bring the Fairchild's down" a booming, harsh voice replied to the surrounding black and echoed throughout the space that seemed never ending.

**-Impulses-**

She could feel herself growing weaker and weaker, she worried about whether or not she would ever move again… when could she see her Clary, her Luke again? It was painful to just lie here with no ability to move, to see, to do anything but listen to her own paranoid voices and feel the dull thudding of her heart. It didn't feel like her own, it was to steady. She knew that humans, Shadowhunters and anything in between have a steady heartbeat but it picks up and slows downs every now and then, that's the way the heart worked but hers, no matter how scared she became her heart stayed at a constant thud that never changed. Her breathing was similar, breathe in, and breathe out and nothing more. She didn't feel like she was her own person, she felt like she was being completely controlled by something or someone else. Her eyes opened against her will and as she expected, needle sharp pain shot through her head, making her feel dizzy as she stared at the darkness wondering what was happening to her. All she remembered was walking into her daughter's reception and dancing with Luke for a few songs. And then she went to the bathroom, washed her hands and black. She didn't know what had happened, but she woke up (did she even wake up? Was this a dream?) in this black hell of a space. She wanted it all to end. She felt paralysed and she wanted it to all be over. Now.

Her mind drifted to a memory of Valentine, it was to fuzzy for her to remember properly, but she remembering the quick sting in her harm, his soothing voice telling her she could never be hurt again, her body burning slightly and then numbing to nothing. She remembered staring at him with fearful eyes and him smiling at her, strapped down to a table in a medical style room which was no doubt in her previous house in Idris. Why was she remembering this.

It was as if the memory wanted to be recalled, for one reason or another, and Jocelyn didn't like it.

**Hello!**

**How was it? Did you like it? I hope so… I found this chapter soooo hard to write! I have no idea why… so I hope you all still liked it :)**

**Review Review Review and tell me what you think!**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


	20. Conflictions

**Author's Note:**

**So I've pretty much come to the conclusion that you all probably hate me because I never update and I'm so bad at this and I could say sorry but it's sort of silly because I've still disappointed you all and I really… I do apologise. Honestly, I've been so busy (blah blah terrible excuse) and I've also had some personal stuff (again) going on and I've also just struggled to find inspiration for this again. So I think I'm a really bad author and I am sorry I've disappointed you.**

**So I just want to say, in a few weeks I will start my last year of school, updates will be infrequent and I will do my absolute best, I also want to let you know that I am committing to finishing this, however it might take a while and it also might not be very… frequent. I hope you can stick with me through it though… I am so sorry again and I don't blame you if you're disappointed in me.**

**Chapter Nineteen: Conflictions**

"You wanna tell me what the hell that was?" the trio of Shadow hunters travelled back towards the Insitute, thankfully leaving behind the wordlessly and lightless street that Carla inhabits and walked along the rain splattered streets of New York.

"Jace, keep it down okay?" Isabelle shot back quickly, trying to hush her brother from drawing attention to the group, after all, they were taking a short cut through a Downworlder's part of the city. Jace had insisted they take the shorter but slightly more dangerous route so he could get back to Clary quicker, but he clearly didn't have the group's safety in his mind as he shouted and whined. Isabelle felt the heel of her shoe sink into some soggy cardboard as she halted to stare at Jace with an incredulous expression.

"Might I remind you that we _all _care about Clary and that is why we _all_ went to go see that creepy Clara okay? So cool it Jace. We are almost home and we can talk about it all when we get there got it? You're justy going to get us all into some kind of-" Isabelle explained in a frustrated tone when she was interrupted by another voice, raspy and aged.

"Trouble?"

They all stiffened, Jace's hand reaching slowly down to where his blade was hidden along his side, Alec working his hand towards his back whilst Isabelle crouched down low, her bracelet loosening as she readied her whip. The stood there in a defensive position for a few minutes as they whip their heads backwards and forwards, hoping their vision would catch some sign of what was out there. But as the rain dripped onto the Shadowhunters an unsettled feeling swam through Isabelle's veins, her nerves tingling with anticipation, they realised that they had no better vision here than at Carla's pitch black masterpiece.

"You Shadowhunters always did have a flair for the dramatic, not so dissimilar to the collection of vampires that inhabit a nearby hotel. I'd be careful if I was you, just a heads up. There's a vampire party going on up ahead so don't make to much noise. Also, trust Carla, she might not seem all the genuine but what she tells you is as close to the truth as you will get. Oh, and put your weapons down, they won't work on me" Isabelle stayed low, her heart racing. Wouldn't work? What does that mean? Of course they would work that's why they were designed this way, to work on everyone and everything. And who is this? Why are they helping us? Her head began to throb from all the riddles, unanswered questions and half-helpful sentences. Isabelle wasn't sure about the others but she could hear the slight patter of footsteps heading away from them, but from what direction she couldn't tell. Every time she turned her ear around to where she thought she could hear it, the steps seemed to run to the other side of her.

"I've had enough of all this shit" Jace muttered, moving his hand away from his blade and stalking off towards the Institute. Isabelle knew as long as they weren't too loud the vampires wouldn't really care so she raised to her feet and followed Jace, Alec by her side. She was filled with conflict, warring against herself. How does she keep what she saw and what Carla told her from Jace, and everyone else for that matter, but even more what happens if she tells them even after she was warned. Carla was putting her loyalties on the line and Isabelle wasn't sure where to turn or what to do. All she could focus on was her legs moving one in front of the other, trying to forget everything that was happening.

**- Impulses -**

This time it was different. Very different. She was expecting to open her eyes and face pain, paralysing pain, venom shooting up her arms, her legs feeling as if they were shaking from poison, but instead she opened her eyes to nothingness, not even pain. Jocelyn's first instinct was to stay still, what happens if this is all some sick trap and as soon as she makes a move the pain returns, slamming her harder than any previous experience inside this… this… what was this?

She breathed slowly, keeping her face pressed down on what felt like cool, even wet concrete. Eventually however she couldn't stand it any longer and had to move, she had a chance here to move after all this… paralysing stillness how she could not take advantage of this. Trap or no trap, if she moved and pain pulsed through her, she was no worse off than when the simple act of opening her eyes brought on the unwavering agony so what did she have to lose.

Jocelyn began to push her hands against the cold, hard ground, tense with fear as to what was going to come but she felt nothing, nothing but her fingers freezing against the concrete. Slowly, she pushed her body up to a crouch, every muscle in her body ached but she continued till she was standing on her feet. Shaking and swaying slightly as she attempted to regain her balance she felt a breeze wash over her face, chilling her to the bone causing her arms to wrap themselves around her chest shivering violently.

It was hard to stay on her feet and not topple over like an unstable tower of children's building cubes when Jocelyn could barely even see the ground she was standing on. She had to test the depth of her vision in this place, and holding out her hand in front of her body she realised she could see her arm length in front of her but only just. Her hands were blurry from the darkness and fuzzy around the edges. Knowing she had so little perception of what was around her caused a sick feeling to settle in her stomach. Shadowhunters were taught to fight against their fear and protect themselves from its grip, but how many Shadowhunters had found themselves in this situation? What even was this situation… nothing made sense.

She closed her eyes instinctively, like she did years ago to hide herself from Valentine's face looming in front of her with a menacing smile… but now there was no purpose. She didn't know what she was hiding from and even worse was when she closed her eyes it was darker than when she had them opened. There was no escape. No escape from whatever was happening.

**- Impulses –**

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad… Take a sad song and make it better… Remember to let her into your heart… Then you can start to make it better"

"Lovely, Clary" She could see his eyes staring up at her filled with worry and concern. His usual façade of cockiness and arrogant nature was stripped away, leaving him, who he really was in front of her. Well perhaps not in front, more like underneath. She recognised the ink markings wrapping themselves around his biceps, his chest, his collarbone… everywhere. Shirtless he stood in the middle of the training room rocking on his heels with nerves staring at her. She smiled down to him, staring at his face, his cheek bones and jawline that give him such an angelic face, that girls stare at every time he walks down the street that gives off a superior energy whenever he's around. Clary swung her legs precariously feel the gravity trying to pull her down to the floor, but she was firmly planted on one of the high beams in the Training Room's roof. Clary knew her legs swinging so high up would make Jace uneasy but she liked seeing him protective and she was tiny, so she must have looked extremely unsafe all the way up here.

But in truth, it was easier to breathe up here, easier to think and just calm down. For some people, it would be quite the opposite for anyone afraid of heights, or anyone who just didn't find it relaxing up here but for Clary she knew she was more likely to be left alone if she was all the way on the high beams. But of course Jace knew exactly where she was, he knew her to well. She knew she couldn't sing, not by a long shot but she liked humming little tunes to herself especially when she was alone.

She didn't feel like replying, or talking, or doing anything really. It felt like everytime she did even moved she ended up hurting someone or herself or hearing those voices and those agonising headaches… it was like she was a bomb, ticking away waiting to explode. She couldn't let that happen, how could she endanger everyone around her? If she made the wrong move she knew her mother would be affected, purely because it felt like there was an invisible string, connecting her to her mother forever, and whatever was happening to herself was affecting her mother by association. Everyone told her the situations were separate but she didn't believe it for a second, she was smarter than that.

"Clary?" She heard Jace call up to her, his voice tainted with concern. She knew she should cut the act but she just didn't feel like it. For once Clary wanted to not have to be so strong and always hold herself like nothing was happening, like she was okay, because she wasn't okay she was the opposite. It felt like her whole world was falling apart and she couldn't hold it all together. It seemed so odd to remember when she was in high school, so oblivious to the world around her, the world she secretly belonged to. How she used to sit in a classroom all day, learning about who killed who and what country fought what country and how to speak well and everything that seemed so unnecessary now. Within a few weeks her life had changed and since then she'd turned into this… warrior of sorts. But can warriors always be hard as stone, tough as nails, unbreakable? Is that possible? Because she felt like she was breaking apart, shattering. Like pieces of her wall fall down from where she sat and clatter on the ground where her husband stood.

"Clary come on talk to me" He was pleading now, and she felt guilty so Clary sucked in a deep breath and let herself go, pushing herself off the beam falling towards the ground. It felt like flying, it felt nice as she felt the air hit her face, rushing through her hair. Her feet smashed on the ground but she bent her knees just in time to take the impact. She barely even noticed the pins and needles in her feet as she walked slowly towards her husband, staring at the ground as she came up to him. Without even bringing her eyes to his, she wrapped her arms around his body, his safe, protective body, he was her walls and her fortress. Without Jace, she felt like everything she had would disappear, he was holding her up, holding her together and even though they haven't had a lot of time alone recently, all she needed was his presence to feel safe. Yes, she was a warrior, but she was nothing without him.

"What's up Clary?" She felt Jace whisper into her fizzy and knotted hair next to her ear, she crushed her face closer into his chest. All she wanted was to push hard enough to be one, together, no attacks, no dangers, and no more dangers… she wanted him to be hers forever, and she felt like she just couldn't be close enough to him.

"It's never going to be okay" she whispered into his hard but secure chest, knowing that she barely said the words but he heard them.

"Come on" He pulled her towards the door, clinging to her arm. For once she felt like he needed her as much as she needed him and they were equal, which is all she could ever want. Because every moment of her life she'd felt inadequate, especially with Jace. He seemed so perfect and she was so… below average. But as he brought her to their bedroom door and laid her down on the bed, she realised that him simply wanting her forever was enough to make them equal. He crawled on top of her, supporting his weight with his elbow. Clary could hear his breath, and could feel his gaze warming her body up. It took a few minutes for her to bring her gaze up to meet Jace's, for some reason she suddenly felt nervous, like she had to prove something, like she had to make sure he knew how much she loved him.

In a split second she pulled him down onto her, bringing her lips to his, kissing him with a hungry passion, wrapping her small arms around his neck. She could feel his surprise in the tension of his muscles, but as she deepened the kiss she felt him relax, and knot his own hands into her hair, kissing her with a sort of desperation. For an unknown amount of time-there seemed to be no sense of time when she was with Jace- they just stayed there kissing as if the world would come crashing down at any minute. Eventually she felt his calloused hand reach up under her shirt slowly, circling around her belly button, tingling her skin. His hand slowly reached up higher, bring shots of electricity through her body.

And for once, she forgot about everything, about all the problems around her, she felt like for once, she could forget.

**- Impulses -**

"Hey mum" Isabelle walked into the kitchen where her mother sat, going through an array of papers and folders. She had her hair tied up in a tight and neat bun at the back of her head and was evidently rather stressed about whatever it was that she was looking into.

"Isabelle" she turned around, surprise in her eyes as she stared at her daughter, "I didn't think you'd be back so soon. What happened? What did she say?" Maryse seemed eager to understand what was going on with the two Fairchild's, which was odd considering she had never seemed to show much emotion when it came to Clary or Jocelyn. But Isabelle guessed that now that Clary was a part of the family now and the fact that she was living in the Institute now. Or it was the fact that her own daughter had encountered someone who came across fairly… dangerous.

"It's complicated" Isabelle replied, the sickness returned to her stomach as she realised this information Carla had shown to her in secret meant that she had to lie and avoid questions from everyone. She had to lie to them… hide things from them and she didn't like that. But she also was not ready to be responsible for any repercussions that could arise from telling the truth about what she saw on that television that still puzzled her to the point of a headache. The images of from the television kept flashing through her mind, causing her head to throb painfully, she had to stop and clear her mind but she knew her mother wasn't going to let her get away with no answer.

"How so?" Maryse replied, her eyebrows pinched closely together with confusion, as she cocked her to the side. Isabelle knew there was no way evading the topic was going to fly with her mother, but she'd decided that she simply couldn't risk the consequences of going against Carla's advice… she couldn't help but wonder since when any of them had begun trusting this woman… but something about her, made Isabelle think that she was trustworthy and right about consequences and what could happen. Everything had become so complicated recently, and it was taking its toll on everyone.

"It just is, I can't really explain it. That's normally what complicated means" Isabelle snapped the last words at her mother, and regretted them instantly. She'd never meant to come across so rude, sometimes it was difficult for her to remember that her mother had lost a lot and continued to push through for her two children. She should be kinder to her mother, the stress of everything had just overtaken Isabelle's mind driving her crazy.

"Mum I'm sorry, everything is… it's not right and I can't really explain it but Carla was helpful but not direct, we didn't find much out, what we did find out though is that Clary is in a lot of trouble, and we've got to save her from something, I just don't know what. Carla knows something Mum but I don't think she is prepared to or can tell us yet" Isabelle explained quickly trying to push the words from her mind out to her mouth hoping once she'd released them she could calm the storm of thoughts in her head. Disappointingly, she only made it worse. Everytime she spoke, more possibilities arose, more questions showed themselves, and more riddles became apparent. There was no easy way to dig through all this to find the answer.

"So you trust her?" Maryse asked, like Isabelle's mother was questioning Isabelle's clear trust of this woman, which surprised the young Shadowhunter as well. Maryse has never been trustworthy, at least not after Isabelle's father caused some rifts between certain relationships within the family.

"I do. And I think we need to do something more, something else, something is happening to Clary and I can't help but wonder if it is not going to end well… we have to do something Mum we can't leave things like this" Isabelle's voice began to rise, as tears welled in her eyes, but she was strong, she wouldn't cry, she would stay strong and not let this all consume her. "And Jocelyn won't wake up and everything right now is supposed to by happy but it isn't and we need to find a way to fix this Mum. We need to know what these voices in her head mean, buy I already know someone, someone is going to die Mum" Isabelle felt a warm stickiness trickle through her fingers. She'd never noticed that her hands were clenched together at her sides, her nails digging into her hands to stop her crying.

"I know sweetheart, I know" Maryse sighed quietly, bowing her head slightly with exhaustion. Isabelle never noticed how tired her mother had become since all this had started, her eyes have lost their colour and weren't as vibrant as they once were, she'd developed slight purple bruises under her eyes and her mouth was consistently in a firm line. She hadn't looked this way since the situation with Robert Lightwood…

Isabelle stood unmoving, staring at her mother, unsure of what to do. She didn't know what to do about any of this, and it was eating away at her insides.

"Mum. We need to do something more drastic. We need to bring the information to us"

"How so Isabelle?" Maryse asked meeting Isabelle's eyes. The thought of what she was about to say made her feel uneasy, and question her own judgement, but In the end Isabelle knew this was the only other move they had left.

"We have to bring the information to the Institute Mum and break the rules, drastically" Her mother continues to stare at her confused and puzzled.

"We have to bring a mundane into the Institute. We have to bring Carla here"

**Author's Note:**

**I hope this chapter was okay, I hope it made up for some of my slackness… I hope you don't hate me to much. I'm not going to request a certain number of reviews, I don't think that's fair considering my slackness on this thing.**

**I really hope this chapter was good.**

**Green-doves.**

**xx**


	21. Needles and Screams

**Author's Note: **

**Thankyou to everyone who reviewed, honestly it means a lot because it means you guys still like what I'm doing and still support this story and all that so thankyou from the bottom of my heart.**

**Chapter 20: Needles and Screams**

"Clarissa we've spoken about this. All we are doing is going in circles right now. Just stop for one second please and listen to me. It's too dangerous for you okay? Just for once please take no for an answer"

"Jace, I can do this I'm fine okay? And I will be fine" Clary snapped a bit too harshly back to her husband who was sitting on the edge of their bed, head in hands. For once in her life, she felt taller than him even if it was only due to his seated position. As soon as she finished her sentence Jace's head snapped up at to stare at her, anger and frustration clouding his liquid honey eyes.

"Can you, for one second, just realise I'm trying to protect you?" Jace muttered quietly to her, and Clary could feel the exasperation in his voice hit her. Until now, she'd been filled with her own frustration with the situation, but she stopped and stood still… looking at Jace quietly. Her thoughts stopped, everything inside her, all this annoyance and irritation slowly seeped out of her. Dripping from her fingertips to the floor leaving her with this feeling of sadness. She walked towards her husband, wedging her body between his legs, wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him into her. The warmth from his face against her chest lit up her whole body and she pulled away reluctantly only to look down into his eyes once again, getting lost in their depth.

"Jace Lightwood, I love you. But I need you to let me do this. Protect me by my side" Clary whispered quietly. She felt an aching in her chest as she realised something. "Ever since we married, we haven't had a single moment to just… _be_. Just be together, be excited about being husband and wife, about being what we are now" She sighed, as if all of this that had been happening had slowly been crushing her and she'd finally just given up. But Jace gave her hope, and gave her a shoulder she desperately needed to lean. Especially considering her mother's situation and her own.

"I know, I know Clary. I just… Can I explain something to you?" She felt his breath tickle her neck, a shiver rippling down her back. She didn't know what he was about to say, but whatever it is she was ready to listen. Nodding carefully she waited for what he was about to say, bringing her forehead down to connect with his.

"Everything I do, goes into you. Everything. Do you have any idea, any idea at all what it would do to me to lose you? And to lose you to something like this… something so unknown and so sudden, it's all to unfair. And if I ever lost you to anything at all, I would never forgive myself. Clary, you can't throw yourself at things, expecting to be invincible because you're not. And I need you here with me. I need to protect you" Clary feel everything inside her burn, but not painfully or as a negative response. Instead she felt flames flicker inside her from the passion she heard in Jace's voice, and the way she could hear the shakiness in his words towards the end of his 'explanation'.

"Jace. I will not leave you in any way, I won't okay? But please, understand _me_ when I say that this is happening _to me_. Jace I'm hearing voices in my head about death and paralysis, and I feel like everything inside me is going to explode from these bouts of pain. And I know this is affecting you, so much but it's destroying me because it's actually happening to _me._ I need to fix this, I need to. It's no one's rite to tell me yes or no to whether I can go except mine. Please, let me come and hold my hand. Please"

**- Impulses -**

The door to Jace's bedroom creaked open as Clary slipped out into the Institute's hallway where Jace, Alec and Isabelle stood, hushing as soon as she came into sight. Clary wasn't an idiot, she knew she was the topic of the conversation that was occurring before she'd joined the group, and she felt bubbles of anger flow through her. She was tired of being treated like a sick child with a terminal illness, she was an adult, she was strong and even more than that she was going to _beat this_.

The leather heeled boots Clary was wearing squeaked on the polished floorboards, emphasising the awkward tension hanging in the hallway. Clary had gotten used to the lack of visible on each Shadowhunter she came across, even when preparing for a battle or dangerous mission. All she could see was Jace's Seraph blade strapped to his back on a diagonal, Isabelle's whip laced around her wrist and Alec's dagger hanging from his belt. But she knew all too well that hidden under all the leather jackets and boots was a collection of daggers, swords and knives that could be pulled into action with the slightest sense of attack or danger. Clary herself could feel her own twin set of seraph blades pressing against the fabric on her back. She alone had three mini daggers hiding inside her boot, a full sized dagger down either leg, lethal metal discs sitting inside her jacket, a small but deadly metal chain necklace hanging down from her neck and a vampire gun hiding on her hip. Enough to kill an army when paired with all she'd learnt.

"Oh I 100% agree Clary shouldn't come she'll only be a liability" Clary spat at the three people looking at her, and watched with content as all their faces grew a dark shade of red. She had stopped being afraid of what any of the Shadowhunters thought of her, she wasn't a mundane and they all knew it, and they had to stop thinking of her as a hindrance to them all. Smiling sweetly at them all she turned and began walking down the hallway towards the entrance of the Institute.

"Clary we didn't-" she heard Isabelle call after her but rather then turn around she just raised her hand and gave a quick flick of the wrist wave as she kept walking. It's not like Iz was going to take it personally, she just wasn't in the mood for pleasing people when they had a job to do.

Convince Carla to come to the Institute.

**- Impulses -**

"No lights?" Clary asked the group quietly as they stood at the door to Carla's 'house' if you could call it that, it certainly seemed rather run down and unwelcoming. But perhaps that was the point. It was too cold for Clary's liking and she felt goose bumps rise on her arms underneath her jacket.

"Ssh Clary" Alec hushed but it didn't bother her, it came across as a brotherly gesture rather than a malicious warning. Isabelle pushed the door opened which seemed slightly odd to Clary, just walking into someone's house, especially someone who is supposedly rather unpredictable and 'dangerous'. But she'd learnt that this world was full of the weird and unlikely, especially since she'd found out the truth about this world and her secret identity. As each of the Lightwood children walked into the house she heard some muffled voices and caught an "expecting you" from an unfamiliar voice, likely to be Carla's. Before she could follow the two raven-haired Shadowhunters, her husband grasped her arm holding her back from the doorway.

"We wait, don't say a word" he whispered into her ear, barely audible. She shuddered from his cool touch, she wasn't expecting to be so cold, and she would have worn a warmer jacket if she'd known. The whole scenario she'd found herself in out at the woman's house was becoming more and more confusing, what would be the purpose of her staying behind? She'd fought so hard to even get here and now she was waiting outside? How was she supposed to have any impact on Carla if she was standing outside without even meeting this woman? She was tired of the twists and turns and she just was waiting for something to be straight forward, maybe then she would know how to figure all this out. Breaking down all her rock hard barriers she'd built up since her mother's situation had worsened and her own had become increasingly unstable, she still held some form of hope that this mysterious woman could do something for her, anything that could help her or her mother.

More muffled voices and more waiting and Clary was getting impatient. Eventually she ripped her arm away from Jace and walked towards the doorway, and even at this point Jace didn't hold her back. Perhaps he'd come to the conclusion that there was nothing he could do to stop her anymore, which she was not to disappointed about.

"What makes you think I'll be anymore use to you there?" Clary could hear the snappiness in the woman's voice as she turned a corner into a lounge room. Isabelle was on the sofa running her hands desperately between her hair and sighing loudly, Alec was leaning against one of the walls rolling his eyes and Carla who was surprisingly tiny was standing in the middle of the room, arms folded clearly unimpressed.

As Clary walked into the room Carla stopped for a moment and turned to stare at her intently, her eyes clouded with confusion. She opened her mouth about to say something but closed it a second later, and did this twice more before she walked closer to Clary. Standing completely still, Clary decided her best bet with this woman was to stand up straight and stare this Carla in the eye. She'd been through way to much in her life to but intimidated by some 'oh so powerful' mundane who had a bit of a thing for drama. And that's when she heard Carla for the first time speak directly to her.

"You. I didn't see this" She muttered standing still for a moment. Before Clary could reply Carla walked slowly, pacing almost away from her towards the back wall and slowly slid down the wall till she was crouching which looked incredibly uncomfortable. But she seemed content with her position. Clary wasn't completely sure what the deal with the whole not seeing whatever this was. Everything was becoming ridiculous.

Carla had started muttering to herself like a child stuck in a mental asylum, rocking backwards and forwards before jumping up and running towards Clary. She felt Carla grasp wrap around her wrists tightly and she let out a sharp gasp as she felt the burn run up her arms. Carla started violently shaking Clary's wrists with such force she thought her arms were going to snap.

"You, I didn't see you. This… has never happened before. You, you are Clarissa Fairchild and I _didn't see you._ The future has been altered, it's been changed. Possible yes, frequent no…" Carla was almost shaking herself with confusion as she tried to sift through her thoughts. Clary could see all of Carla's thoughts run through her mind and filter in and out, it was a terribly unsettling sight to see. Whatever was going on it was completely out of Clary's hands and not only that it was completely out of control.

"Hands off her. Now" She heard Jace growl from behind her, feeling his chest press against her back. Carla froze, her gaze reaching up to meet Jace's and immediately released Clary's wrists. As she looked down she could see the red marks that stained her skin, matching the slight burning sensation that tickled her arms. No one spoke for a few minutes, until eventually Clary broke the silence.

"So how would you like the honour of saying you have saved a helpless little girl's life?" Clary could hear Jace chuckle behind her and Alec snort loudly and initially Clary was slightly annoyed by but eventually she found herself laughing quietly as well. However Carla seemed unimpressed by the remark, seeming to have completely forgot her little breakdown only a few minutes earlier.

"Clarissa, if I were you I'd be far more respe-"

"Oh shut up Carla. If I were _you_ I'd realise not very long ago you were shaking in confusion about 'not seeing me' or whatever that means. Well lucky you because you can see me now can't you? Now I'm not going to play the act with you and try and weave around you're games and formal language. Instead, you're going to come with me, to the Institute, do whatever you can to save my mother and sort out what's in my head. Am I clear?" Clary snapped harshly at the frizzy haired woman standing wide-eyed in front of her. She walked from her position a few metres from the lounge room doorway down to sit next to Isabelle on the sofa, kicking her ankle lightly and smiling at her.

"You're crazy" Isabelle whispered and Clary could smell the mint on her breath and smiled at her replying, "Yeah I know".

"You and your friends seem to enjoy ordering people around. I am not going to be bossed around by a group of teenagers. I want you to know I feel the deepest sympathy for you and your mother and the situation you've found yourselves in, but I don't understand how being at the Institute will give you any more help than if I was here" Carla looked at Clary as she spoke, sincerity clear in her eyes which Clary realised was a rarity. Carla had seemed sincere about anything since they'd arrived, and certainly did not seem to have any true intention of helping them. But as Clary looked into the young woman's eyes (was she young? She was a confusing mundane that was a certainty) she saw that Carla would help them if she could, but maybe she couldn't? Maybe they were seeking out someone who simply didn't have the capacity within them to help them, or the knowledge, or the power. Either way perhaps this was all just a waste of time. But something told Clary that they were doing the right thing, that this was what they were supposed to be doing.

"I'm sorry Clary but I just-" Carla spoke up again when the extended silence after her last explanation had extended to far but she was interrupted midway with a ear-splitting scream.

Clary hit the floor landing on her left arm, feeling pulses of pain erupt along her muscle but she barely noticed it. She was too fixated on the pain inside her head, like someone was slowly inserting needles through her skull into her brain, piercing it, stabbing into her. She was unable to think of anything else, the pain was completely uncontrollable and she was praying, wishing that soon she would simply pass out. Pass out from the pain and let it be over even for a few seconds. She felt her vision blacken and blur around the edges, and she felt a pang in her stomach of fear as she waited for her vision to disappear, and for the pain to slowly ebb away as she slipped into unconsciousness. But the sleep she desperately craved never washed over her, the needles kept prodding slowly into her head, and now she was beginning to feel the pain creep up her arm. It felt like small bugs were running up and down her arm, stopping and stinging her every few seconds, leaving her in agonising pain.

She could hear the screaming, she could hear it in her ears causing them to ring loudly but she felt no connection to it. It took her a while before she could realise it was her own screams. Screams of terror and pain and desperation. She only faintly registered strong, capable hands grasp her body up and felt the stiffness of another strong body pressing against her cheek. She was still screaming but whimpers of pain and fear broke through and her shaking began to take over her body.

Rain fell onto her, chilling her to the bone. They were outside, and she could hear shouts from familiar voices and the sound of feet running through water filled streets but her mind wasn't in the situation. Her mind was away, focusing on trying not let this pain control her, take her over. The hands around her were gripping her tightly, and the water was running through her hair which normally she would find relaxing and calming but right now she just wanted to lie in bed and lose herself in sleep. The jolting of her body from every step her carrier took was thumping her head, making it increasingly difficult to focus on staying in control.

"Left!" She heard someone scream, a young voice, a female. It couldn't have been Isabelle the voice sounded to stern. The only other person was Carla… which didn't make sense. Carla wouldn't have run with them, she didn't want to go to the Institute, why would she be going with them? None of this made any sense. All Clary could do was try to stay calm, if that was even possible. Right now, it felt the complete opposite which was a frightening thought.

"Left? The Institute is the other way!" She heard Alec scream, at least she could start thinking straight. The pain was unbearable, but it was as piercing as it was initially. And she'd been trained to bear pain, of any sorts even if she wasn't excellent at it. Why weren't they going to the Institute? She had to go to the Institute! She had to go to the Institute now why were they running away from the only place where she felt safe? What in Angel's name was going on right now?

"I know I know! We can't go there okay? You want my help? Follow me, and be quick about it!" That was Carla again, Clary could tell. She sounded worn out and exhausted by their frantic running and she realised her shaking was more due to her freezing body and the shivering it was undergoing in an attempt to keep her warm rather than the actual pain.

The pain. It was beginning to take her over and she wasn't sure how to keep in control of it. It felt like someone was painting her body, from her injured arm outwards. And with each stroke and wave of pain sizzled into her skin, burning her insides and cramping her muscles till she felt more screams find their way out of her mouth.

All she could focus on to stay in control of the situation was the thumping pressed against her ear, her husband's heartbeat. Reminding on her why she needed to not lose control, she had to stay with him.

They were going to get through this. Whatever _this _was.

**- Impulses -**

Staring at Clary was all she'd done for the past hour or so. Everything was spiralling down into an uncontrollable mess and Isabelle was completely unsure of what was going on. She'd never felt so helpless in her life and it wasn't something she was used to. Wherever Carla had taken them, it wasn't exactly what she thought Carla would have in mind as a 'hide-out' or whatever. The whole point of trying not to be discovered or traced was laying low, instead the group of Shadowhunters found themselves in a large parlour with marble floors and a giant chandelier.

Carla had taken Clary and Jace into a room to the left, behind a red oak door with a shining gold handle. She had also left strict instructions with Isabelle and her brother who hadn't said a word since they'd arrived at this… rather luxurious building. They weren't to move from the parlour, and they certainly weren't to follow Jace, Clary and Carla into this mysterious room.

She could still hear the screams of Clary from inside the other room, and it was sending shivers down her spine. Clary had become… like a sister to her and it was torture to see what was happening to her and to hear the pain she was going through. At least Carla was cooperating now and agreeing to help them, she'd even agreed to come to the Institute if that's what was going to help Clary and her mother.

Isabelle didn't know what an appropriate move was anymore. And she certainly did not know what to do.

None of them did.

**Author's Note:**

**I'm super happy with this chapter, things are going well and I know where this story is going so woo hoo for that!**

**Review if you love it review if you hate it, favourite follow… whatever takes your fancy lovely readers. I hope this was up to a standard you are expecting… thanks for sticking with me it means the world to me.**

**I'm thinking of starting a Divergent fanfic to because I'm so in love with that trilogy… it's probably my favourite book/set of books ever. But I think I'm not going to do that yet, I gotta stay committed to this story for all of you! :)**

**Thanks again, means to the world to me, you're all amazing.**

**xo**

**Green-doves**


	22. Home

**Author's Note: **

**Hello lovely readers. Thank you for liking this story and reading it, thank you so much to the people who reviewed as well!**

**Darian: I will be updating as much as possible, hopefully this will be finished! I will let you know, I will be going into my final year of school soon, so when my holidays end in a week or two weeks, my updates will slow completely, once I finish Term 1 updates start again! Sorry about that… I have to focus on school! Thankyou so much for reviewing though!**

** . : I will be updating as much as I can obviously :D But yes school :( Thanks so much for taking the time to review! Means so much to me!**

**Stealy10: I've always wanted to be a professional author… maybe one day haha but sometimes I struggle to create original ideas… like my idea is my own but it is super similar to a fav book of mine like Divergent or TMI or Hunger Games… maybe one day!**

**Shavvy12: This made my freaking day, seriously… been having a rough time recently and you just made me smile so much that my cheeks hurt. There is a lot of pressure with school yes haha so I will do my best… also thankyou, honestly for liking this enough to actually created an account to review this… that means the world to me. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou! You're so lovely and thankyou seriously from the bottom of my heart!**

**Chapter 21: Home**

"I know you're angry but-" Carla began, her voice had dropped its usual armour of arrogance and superiority, instead it was tainted with her own uneasiness and nervousness. She was sitting on the small ottoman that sat in the corner of Clary's room.

"I want to go home!" Clary hissed at her, she'd woken up a few hours ago and she was feeling exhausted from the ordeal that occurred earlier in the day. Jace hadn't left her side since they'd arrived in this house that Clary still wasn't completely in the dark about. All she know was that it was rather fancy, and they weren't allowed in certain rooms. Not that she'd had any time to explore in the first place.

"Clary, it's okay" Jace soothed into her ear, trailing his fingertips along her arms, as they shared her bed. She was lying in a plush double bed with two luxurious quilt covers to keep her warm, apparently she'd been shivering earlier not that she could remember anything other than the pain. Jace was sitting beside her, Clary's body wedged slightly into his side. Having him just near her warmed her body up, not just with heat but a sense of safety and stability.

"I know you want to go home Clary" Carla attempted for a second time to reason with the young Shadowhunter, but it seemed obvious that she wasn't going to get anywhere quickly. Clary was tired and she'd become rather inpatient.

"No you don't understand. Because you hole up in a dark little street and a dark little house in your dark little life okay? But I need to go home! I want to go home!" Clary begun screaming at the mundane sitting diagonal from her. She knew she was being completely unreasonable, all Carla had done since she'd collapsed in pain was try to help her, but she wasn't thinking straight. It was getting ridiculous and Clary was utterly shattered from this day, and she couldn't think about using her manners at the moment. The only thing saving Carla from Clary's unfiltered anger caused by exhaustion was her husband sitting next to her, whispering sweet things in her ears.

"Believe me, I know what it is like to want to _go home_" Carla replied quietly, almost inaudible which made Clary feel slightly uneasy. What did Carla mean she knew? She could go home at any moment, home to that unsettling, numberless street with no lights and no words. Odd place to want to live Clary thought. Jace was hugging Clary tightly now, against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, steady and sure never faltering just a constant thump reminding her that she hadn't lost everything.

"So go home then. You aren't doing anything to help us anymore are you?" Alec spat, surprising everyone in the room with his harshness. He'd been standing at the doorway in the classic not-getting-involved Alec stance, watching the scene unfold without commenting on making a move. Everyone in the room turned to face him, even Clary was surprised, even though he wasn't being any ruder than she had been and he had a point.

"Don't pretend for a second that you have any idea at all what is happening to these women. You're a Shadowhunter, you are not a Silent Brother, or a Underworld Doctor, or an experienced Warlock or any-"

"Well I'm dating one" Alec cut her off sharply, and this was the first time Clary had seen him announce his sexuality in front of someone and not light up in a scarlet blush. He'd gained some confidence and a sense of sureness in himself, and she was glad for it. But Carla did not look slightly phased by this remark and instead scoffed lightly.

"I do not care to hear about your sexual preference Lightwood. What I am saying is I am helping to the best of my abilities. Should you wish to call in Magnus Bane then feel free to, but I am not leaving. You want to go home? As do I. So I suggest you just have some patience!" Carla yelled the last few lines at Alec, and Clary even thought she was a hint of tears well up in her eyes, almost dribbling down her cheeks. But Carla's eyelashes caught them before they could go on show, blinking her emotions away. She had so many questions floating in her head, some onld and some very new. How did this woman know anything about Magnus? Which lead to questions about whether she really was a mundane or something else. But everyone kept telling her 'not to worry' and instead try to focus on getting better. But get better from what?

Alec was silent after this, not daring to open his mouth again to utter another word. The whole room was filled with a thick tension that made Clary think she was about to suffocate. Tension was never her strong point and it seemed like years since she'd woken up and her day had been something even remotely close to _easy_.

"Fine. We'll call him in" Alec finally spoke, pulling out his mobile phone. Clary remembered the first time she'd taught Alec how to use one considering when she'd first met the group of Shadowhunters and had been brought into their world, they had a severe lack of technological knowledge when it came to mundane technology. He'd looked at the phone like it was a bomb, only touching the buttons lightly with his fingertips and gasping every time it beeped or vibrated. Now he, like all the others used it with ease and Clary wondered how they ever managed to communicate efficiently without them.

She called hear her brothe-in-law murmuring into the phone rapidly but not loudly enough for the rest of the group to hear before pulling the phone away from his ear, staring at them.

"He'll be here in five" Alec said matter-of-factly before turning to look at Carla and instructing her "He'll have a few things that you'll need to get for him, just do it. Also he's the one we're trusting okay?" No one waited for her response, instead Alec left the room and Clary felt Jace begin whispering comforting words into her ear again. Sooner or later Magnus would arrive and Clary knew as soon as he came, she was going to be closer to getting everything sorted out. Magnus was someone she could trust and someone who could help her more than anyone.

**- Impulses -**

It was surprisingly warm in the parlour of this house considering Alec could see out the window that freezing sheets of rain were still pelting against the building, drenching the whole city in water. Alec felt a twinge of guilt as he realised that Magnus would need to brave the rain to get here. For most people this would come as a discomfort, but for Magnus it would be like walking through hell, his hair soaking in water, his coloured eye-liner dripping down his face. This wasn't something Magnus would be too happy about, and normally Alec wouldn't ask this of him, but the situation was becoming more and more dire as the minutes passed.

Alec was in his own mind, imagining his boyfriend's frustration with the rain when a loud knock on the front door brought him back to reality. Magnus stood, covered in rain on the doorstep with a smirk on his face, "If you wanted to get me wet Alec you could have just asked". He waltzed into the room patting Alec on the shoulder as he did so.

"Magnus that doesn't really… we're both guys you know that right?" Alec asked, his cheeks heating up with a fresh sheet of crimson. Magnus just chuckled quietly.

"Of course, I just thought the pun was too good to let go of. Now where is she?" Magnus' voice turned serious within a matter of seconds, his eyes hardening as soon as he began referring to Clary. Alec knew that Magnus and Clary had this strange relationship that neither of them had ever really asked for, bound together by Jocelyn's decisions earlier in Clary's life. Magnus had grown feelings for Clary, in a brotherly manner of sorts. He'd watched her grow up after all, and only now as her mind was free of its chains Magnus opened up about how painful it was to take such a beautiful young girl's memories from her, locking up her mind and throwing away the key. It was almost an unspoken or unrecognised relationship they had, it existed and they both knew it, relying on each other and caring about one another but it never seemed to flourish to the extent of certain other relationships.

Then again, could Alec really critique the relationship? He himself had rarely made an effort with Clary until he'd realised she was a part of their family… he'd even threatened to kill her at one stage if she didn't leave Jace alone. But things were different now, he like everybody else wanted her to be safe. Her happiness and wellbeing was Jace's happiness and wellbeing. And Jace was his Parabati after all.

"They're in the room to your left" Alec answered with a smile, following his boyfriend into the room where Clary was most than likely arguing with Carla about whether or not she could go home. Magnus walked into the door, with his usual confident stride, Alec a few steps behind but before he could even enter the room he could hear a small gasp escape a woman's lips and Magnus muttering to himself. Alec had keen ears for Magnus' muttering, the majority of the most important words that came out of Magnus' mouth were in mutters and murmurs.

As Alec entered the room he immediately felt the tension pulsating through the air, like an invisible heartbeat, hitting each person standing staring at each other. Carla was still sitting on her ottoman with wide eyes fixated on Magnus, Clary had a smile of relief on her face but her eyes conveyed a sense of confusion as she looked between Carla and Magnus. Jace just seemed happy to have some familiar help but he was completely focused on Clary, watching her every move. He'd become completely over-protective of her, but no one worried about it because when everyone thought about it, it wasn't a surprise. Anyone else in Jace's position would be exactly the same, it just showed how much he'd changed since his womanizing ways.

"So are we all good to uh… start helping Clary and stuff now?" Alec asked hesitantly, the whole atmosphere had put him on edge, and the fact that no one answered him made it even more confusing. No one said anything, and Alec was getting more and more uneasy, but luckily before he exploded Carla whispered something into the room.

"Magnus?" Alec heard her say lightly, as if willing her words to fly through the air, rather than be heard. Her lip quivered slightly as she spoke, almost like it was painful to say his name, which made Alec feel slightly sick with some type of… emotion. He wasn't sure what it was but it felt horrible. He felt a growing distaste with the woman staring at his boyfriend, like she was threatening him or something, but all she'd said was Magnus' name. As he stared at her, he felt a sense of anger as he watched her eyes grow wide and her lip tremble, he felt his mind shoot insults at her. Screaming that she was childish, and a baby, and to get a grip… none of which left his mouth. He was being crazy but he didn't know how to stop, he just wasn't ready to trust Carla anytime soon.

"Alec, why is she here?" Magnus asked, and Alec had hoped he would hear a twist of hatred or revulsion in his boyfriend's voice, but instead it seemed soft and… loving? Alec felt rage fill within his veins as he replied coldly.

"She's the one 'helping' us" Alec spat before storming out of the room. It was like he couldn't control himself, all he wanted to do was run away from that room.

Something was off, and Alec knew it.

He just knew it.

**- Impulses -**

_The young girl heard an ear piercing scream from the small, clay home next to her. They didn't have a lot of money and most of the houses in this area were clay or makeshift bricks that were barely holding together. Chills ran through her bones as she heard the scream again, mixed with pots smashing and objects banging together. She wished for her father, but he was nowhere near the house and her mother… if only her mother could wake up and dig back up to the surface to help her. She was alone, completely alone with screams ringing through her head. She felt the wood dig into her sides, as she hid under the chair from whatever was out there. Her shaking body was almost uncontrollable, and she was worried that if she shook hard enough the chair would move and whatever was out there would come to her. To find her. To get her._

_She didn't know what to do, she just pinched her eyelids together to hide the vision in front of her and pulled her small hands around her ears tightly, trying to muffle the screaming. Where was everyone else? Why was this screaming still going on? Someone should have stopped it by now but it was like she was alone, completely alone in this street with no one to help her. And it was getting cold. They had no way to keep warm in this house except for the fire, and she couldn't light it herself. She was far too young, and she'd draw attention to herself and that was the last thing she wanted to do. The chilling breeze shifted in and amongst the small possessions that filled her clay home, brushing against her skin and leaving her hair on edge. _

_Her hands did little to nothing to stop the screams from penetrating into her mind, leaving her frozen from fear so she decided there was no point to clasping her ears anymore. Everything around her was making it hard to breathe, her body was sore from all the tension built up in her muscles and she was being to violently shake just as she had feared. Her eyes were still pressed shut together when she heard light footsteps. They couldn't be her Father's, he had a stomp when he walked that could be heard throughout the whole neighbourhood. Her mind was whirling between theories, it was her father but he was tip toeing as not to scare her, it was a stranger searching for anyone who was inside, or the thought that wracked her body with fear. Perhaps the footsteps were those of whoever had caused the screams she had heard. But she was still hearing them, hearing the pain and helplessness in the sound, the ear-piercing sound of impossibility that rang inside her whole body. So it can't have been caused by whatever was out there, whatever danger or evil was stalking the house next door._

_So what was it that she was hearing? She kept her eyes clamped shut, and her legs began to feel like jelly from sitting under the chair for so long. She was tiny for a thirteen year old, but it seemed to be coming in handy in this situation. She wanted to look around and see who was coming inside of the house but wasn't sure if she was ready to open her eyes. The footsteps had stopped… had they left the house? Or were they standing still looking around for signs of life? Then she heard it. Deep breathing. In and out. She could hear the breath leaving someone's mouth, but it didn't sounds like whoever it was, was angry or out of breath. Rather she heard the calmness within the breathing and it was surprisingly close to her, she could almost feel the warmth of it wash over her face._

_Something about this sensation made her decide she would have to open her eyes sooner or later. She still felt fear flow throughout her body, but she felt as if whoever was near her at this moment wasn't here to hurt her. Why had she suddenly become so trusting or this stranger, if it was even a human. But her heart was willing her to open her eyes. _

_And so she did._

_And what was standing in front of her seemed human but something, something about him screamed unusual. There was something different here. His black hair was sticking out at every angle and was filled with dust and dirt. He was coated in black, blending into the darkness of the home. It was the darkest of night and she could only just make out his figure. The man in front of her, looked no older than the boy who lives down the road was crouching down in front of her, so his face met hers. He had a kind face which settled her nerves but only slightly. He wasn't smiling though, she could see the graveness in his face and it was obvious something serious was occurring and whether he was here to help her or hurt her was still unknown. _

_She didn't realise until she felt a hot drip of water hit her foot that she had begun crying. Her cheeks were stained with flowing, silent tears. She felt his hand wipe her cheek softly, rubbing her tears away and this is when she was him smile. His teeth were shiningly white and gleamed at her in the darkness. _

"_It's okay, don't make a sound" She heard him whisper to her, soothing her. She didn't know why but she felt like she had to listen to him and do what he says. She shut her mouth tightly to stop any whimpers from escaping her mouth. Watching his every move nervously, she saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a sort of needle. She'd never seen one in real life, only in stories. After all her family was far too poor for vaccinations and any medical needs. It looked frightening, a sharp metal stick on the end of a large syringe looking tube. She begun to feel that sense of fear creep back into her, but it was quickly replaced with fascination as she watched a blue swirling cloud wrap itself around the needle, the man's hands shaking above it murmuring words quickly so she couldn't grasp what they were._

_As the seconds flew by his muttering grew faster and faster, the blue vapour twisting more violently around the tube until she heard a scream. She barely even registered it had come from her own mouth as she watched the man in front of her by wrenched away from her with shocking violence. But not before he screamed one last word, something she didn't understand and stabbed the needle right into her heart. _

_The pain was incomprehensible. She couldn't move from shock. She never should have trusted him, he'd stabbed her. Her whole body went stiff and her mind was racing, the pain pulsing through her veins, reaching into every corner of her body before she felt herself grow weak, and tired, and she slumped to the ground. She was barely conscious as she watched the man who had stabbed her push his palms into the chests of his attacks, and red liquid spread out from his hands into their skin. She watched them drop like dominoes to the ground, and she noticed as soon as they hit her floor with a thump, their chests failed to rise and fall any longer. He was a murderer, he'd tried to murder her as well._

_The pain was ebbing away, and she saw in her last minutes of vision him walk quickly towards her, his movements rash and uncalculated. He seemed extremely stressed, as if everything he'd thought would happen had been spun on its head… she knew the feeling. He knelt near her, pulling the needle from her chest and she heard a small moan of pain escape her mouth. His arms wrapped around her body, pulling her arm and the final moment she recalled was the wind rushing in her hair._

_They were running. _

**Author's Note:**

**Hokay I really like this chapter so I hope you do to! I'm loving where this is going and it's going to be great! I have two more weeks before school, and so two more weeks of uploading before I have to go on a break (Sorry!).**

**I'm aiming to get 3 more chapters up by then (aiming) so fingers crossed!**

**Review :)**

**Xx**

**Green-doves**


End file.
